It's been 9 days and he hasn't called?

I recently was out with a friend and totally hit it off with a guy she knew. He was slow to warm up, but I was very interested in learning about him and directed most of the conversation around his life. After this he followed me around the rest of the night. He asked if he could walk me to my car at the end of the night and I agreed. I could tell he was nervous and when he asked for a goodnight kiss, I responded by planting a warm affectionate kiss on him and then gently pulled away. He was grinning ear to ear! And as I got in my car, he asked with a very shaky voice if he could have my number. We swapped numbers, and I was thrilled! I loved the fact that he was more on the shy side and soft spoken. It never dawned on me that 9 days would go by without so much as a word from him!I tend to live by the theory that if he's not calling then he's just not that into you... But I simply cannot accept that this time around. The mistake I feel I potentially could have made was adding him to Facebook. He accepted, but still, no communication. I am stumped by this one. Help!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Mistake, adding someone on face book? are you serious? who cares. Its the internet.

    Look, if you really want there are companies out there that sell people "friends" to be added to face book. You can get like a thousand friends or something for a cost. I don't know how much cause I don't care. The point its, who gives a damn. If you are judging someone or anyone on their face book status... something is seriously screwed up with you.

    Anyways, You are not bad to look at so I'm sure he's just nervous or shy. He may just think that he doesn't have a shot with you and why bother to call.

    Let me tell you this, when I was younger about 10 years ago before I knew how to be social, I went to a club, which was one of the first times I had ever been to one.

    There was this girl, and she was a model, were talking perfect body, perfect face... stunning in every way possible.

    I was standing on the dance floor minding my own business and she looks at me, smiles, and then starts walking over to me.

    I then proceeded to start moving away.

    Then she started moving closer.. the whole time smiling at me. And the whole time, I'm trying to avoid eye contact. (I was so nervous I couldn't believe it.. if my sweat were bullets it would have been a massacre.)

    Eventually she kept moving closer and asked "will you PLEASE dance with me?" I said ok... nervously and stood there while she danced in front of me and I walked off... the SECOND the song was over. I saw her a few years later and had my way with her sexually... but that's not the point.

    The point is, sometimes guys will do things like not even bothering to show interest at all, if he thinks he doesn't stand a chance. Your not super hot mind you, but you are hot enough that he may be thinking that.

    You may try and contact him through face book since its a little more safe for him to talk.

    He can feel safe cause he's hiding behind a computer screen.

    Try contacting him through face book or via email, or some kind of internet messaging thing.

    If you call him, he's just going to be nervous as hell so I don't recommend that. (he'd be flattered as hell, but tongue tied, and he's probably going to feel like an ass.)

    Im pretty sure he probably thinks you don't like him. After all, when many guys realize that they are nervous around a girl, they assume they blew it. Because women want the confident, self assured man. Not the shy ones.

    Plus you pulled away.

    Go the internet route. He needs to know you like him.

    Dont worry this won't make you a slut if you do, and yes he will still respect you.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • text him and send him a message via FB and see if anything happens in a week...just say "hello, how are you? I had fun last time"...don't say anymore...if he replies back with that and nothing more, or no response, then your intuition is right...he has nothing to talk about with you

  • Was he drunk or sober? If he was sober he is probably just shy. Did you ever say hi to him on Facebook after he accepted your request? The guy is probably just a moron and doesn't know how to make the next move. Maybe he wanted to wait a few days to call. And then maybe something came up so now its been 9 days. Maybe he feels like an idiot and thinks it is too late to contact you. Just take the initiative and say hello. Some guys need a jump start just like a dead car. Once you jump him he may start working normally.

  • id say its all a ploy on his part. you even have him on Facebook too...hmm. don't think he got your number. but if he got your number then it should be him calling then. but for nine days? where you met him at? try sending him a Facebook msg saying, (whats up?) then that's it. see what happneds, if he doesn't respond then, he must not be that into you. or he's gay and got a guys number that night.

  • try and talk to him, he's just shy so why don't you start talking to him on the phone or somthing and see how that goes.


What Girls Said 2

  • i can picture a question being posted on here by him going something like this...

    "i went out with a friend the other night, and it went great. at the end I asked her for her number, and I gave her mine as well. it's been 9 days and she hasn't called or texted me... is she not interested? she added me on Facebook too, but hasn't written a message or anything... should I give up/forget about her? or just wait?"

    lol call him! you admitted yourself that he seemed more on the 'shy side', well, part of being shy is being nervous to call someone you like... so help him out a little, and take the first step, I'm sure he'll be so relieved that you actually do like him.

    • LOL...bout time you girls take some dammnn initiative...

    • Im all about taking initiative. I wait a little while, but if nothing happens, then I get impatient and make it happen. life's too short to sit around waiting.

  • I personally would forget about a guy like that. 9 days is too long for there to be no contact and on top of it all he can even talk to you on Facebook and he isn't. Was he drinking the night you met him? I definitely don't count on a guy who has had a few drinks to know what he was thinking the next day.

    I get the fact that he's a friend of a friend, that he did warm up to you and he even asked you for a kiss and he got one. That can make it confusing. But there is no denying he is not pursuing you in any way and, for me, I have found that actions speak louder than words or even a big smile on his face.

    • You don't understand just how shy some dudes can be.

    • Show All
    • See... I think the same way! But, I do sort of feel like I have nothing to lose at this point, so a tiny message or something wouldn't even matter. However, I have to keep my dignity in tact. Ugh!

    • All I can say is having to lead a relationship with a guy is such a dismal proposition. As women, we can do it. We were born to be in relationships. We don't even get why guys wouldn't want to be in one. I could meet a guy and in a few dates I would be able to ask him to be my guy. But, of course, it doesn't work that way. So, I have done what you are doing, given that little text and continued the contact, but then you find you are initiating the next contact, and the next.