He hasn't contacted me in 4 weeks?

[Anonymous]

I told him to not contact me because i felt like he wasn't putting in effort. He then said 'oke. And he hasn't tried to fix it , he watches my stories but didn't reach out , its been 4 weeks.

[HollyK21]

If you left because he wasn’t putting in effort then this proves you made the right choice. He’s not going to fix anything because he’s just not interested in doing so. Would you like him to come back and continue the merry go round? Or find a man instead who actually puts in effort consistently? My guess is the latter.

[Asker]

He was in his eyes, he would set dates every week but he wouldn't text during the day etc he wouldn't call me. He watches my stories tho

[HollyK21]

I want to disregard the fact he watches your stories because that’s just such a normal thing people on your friends list do. He doesn’t have an issue with you, no bitterness, so there’s no reason for him not to watch them. As for his actions, it says a lot about how much he valued you in his life and I don’t think it was very much. He was inconsistent, disappointing, which a man who’s actually afraid of losing you would NEVER do. You have to start thinking ahead not looking back. What kind of man do you want for yourself? As a boyfriend, husband, father? Would you be ready to watch your kid face the same broken promises, hurt and disappointment that you have? I think about all that when choosing a guy because you never know how far you two will make it so at least take that journey with the right guy. This man you’re clinging onto will never ever be the right man for you, maybe someone else someday but he has repeatedly proven he’s incapable of being good to you. Those redeeming moments in the past don’t hold a candle to what he’s put you through. It’s just not worth it.

[Asker]

Then why lie say u love me and want to be with me forever

[HollyK21]

Not saying this sarcastically at all it’s an honest question, but you are aware that men (and women) can lie to get what they want, right? You’re aware that words mean nothing without action, right? A woman could lie to a man and say she’s deeply in love if it meant he was going to pay a bill or gift her with designer. That’s just a cold fact of life and at some point you’ve got to take off the rose colored glasses and recognize he deceived you. No man that loves and wants to be with you forever will let days, let alone weeks, pass without contacting you. That is not love and the only way I can imagine you think it is, would be if you’ve never experienced better.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, that really sucks. Four weeks of nothing would definitely have me wondering what's up too.

A couple thoughts - it could be that he took you saying not to contact you seriously and doesn't want to go against your wishes. But him still watching your stories is a little weird if he's not gonna try to talk to you.

Maybe he's just not great with confrontation and putting in effort. Or he might be playing games, who knows.

At this point, I'd say either try reaching out to him one more time to get some clarity on where you stand, or just accept he might not be able to give you what you need. Ball's in his court now. If a few weeks isn't enough for him to chase you, he probably isn't that interested.

It's a bummer, but better to find out now than waste more time, yeah? Try not to overthink it, and keep your options open. His loss if he's not willing to communicate. You'll find someone who appreciates you.

[boggboss]

U told him not too so why would he contact u I understand women like to play games but this is a new one