How come they say when you don't look for love it finds you and I'm still single?

[Anonymous]

I'm a happy person that's goes out, travels and I'm still single at 29

I thought being attractive, kind independent were good qualities? I've never had any signal from a guy that is interested

[Anonymous]

I'm with you, I'm 28 and currently single.

What the saying really means is don't go looking for love in a forceful way. It's like the saying "looking for love in all the wrong places" It's in all the wrong places because you went looking for it. When you're not looking, you're suppose to be fulfilling yourself with love by loving yourself. You'll radiate self love that you will attract love from others and that's how love finds you.

Took me awhile to really hone in on this but once I did, guys started to pop up.

[Squaresquirrel]

As long as you are asking this question you are still hoping.

[Asker]

True still nothing not even the nerdy guy liked me back... so depressed 😢

[Squaresquirrel]

I'm sorry, I honestly don't know what to say. I won't say the cliches I am getting. "true love will find you" and other BS.
I only know that when I was 19, I was fed up with dating, truly had enough. I told myself, I would meet the last guy (had a few dates lined up) and done. Finito. I just wanted to get over with it.
I ended up going out with him for a while.
I think as someone said when you truly don't care about the outcome of your interactions, no hidden agenda, that's when you are the most attractive.
But then it depends on your life, your circles, your hangouts, hobbies, what kind of people you meet.

[Asker]

My brother says i need to snap out of being unhappy but it's so easy for him to say as he didn't need to work for the girl as she liked him a lot when they were roommates and they are going on trips I have nothing too look forward to it's just constant disappointments with guys never amounts to anything other than friends

[Squaresquirrel]

Maybe try to focus on something else? Mainly on yourself. What would make you happy?
Go on holidays, learn to dance, go back to school. Anything.
I've been single for a while now, so I know it is hard, but your brother is right.
Compile a list of things you haven't done but always wanted to.
Putting yourself first will change your vibe.

[Asker]

I know bit I've feel I've "worked on myself for years now" I've travelled the world solo, got a degree, worked abroad, hot in amazing shape, glowed up still nothing...

[Asker]

Got in amazing shape**

[Squaresquirrel]

Okay, yes, and I'm saying all the cliches, I wouldn't want to hear. Sorry about that.
I hope you will meet someone.

[ChrisOfTheAlienRace]

Honestly I think when people aren't looking for anyone, or they're already in a relationship, they seem to give off a carefree vibe that's attractive. Someone who's looking may seem aggressive, a bit desperate, too excited, or maybe too forward around others? It can put pressure on the situation that scares others away.
Either way, it's still a game of chance whether or not you will cross paths with a potential partner.

[Asker]

I know but it can also show your not interested in the guy acting like that

[ChrisOfTheAlienRace]

It's a weird phenomenon for me.
The two longest relationships I ever had were both with women who I met by chance and I was just kinda minding my own business at parties or online. I was nice to them, but I never tried too hard with them.
Then they took the initiative to contact me.
Also the only time I used get hit on by random women was when I was married, wearing a ring and barely even paying attention to them. I had no interest in them and somehow that made me more appealing. Like I must be somebody if I'm not making eye contact, flirting, or anything?
It's like they saw me as more valuable and wanted my attention because I wasn't giving them any.
That's really weird, but maybe that idea only works with women.
I think most guys would like if a woman made the first move, and seemed into him.

[Asker]

Really even the nerdy guy said he saw me as a friend lol ugh so depressing

[ChrisOfTheAlienRace]

Aww, I'm sorry you haven't had the best luck so far.

[Asker]

I know it sucks... all my friends are off on holidays together and I'm just sitting in my apartment by myself these days

[ChrisOfTheAlienRace]

I can relate.
I coparent now and I don't see my son as much as I used to.
I used to have him with me pretty much everyday and I was never lonely. Now I'm not sure what to do with myself. I use Girls ask Guys to talk to anyone who will listen I guess? LoL!

[MannyFrs]

try flicking your bean!

[DarkWinterNights]

If you’re moderately attractive then it’s probably your personality.

Do you put yourself in situations to talk with guys? Are you approachable? Do you show interest in guys? Strike up or entertain conversations? Do you smile a lot or do you suffer from resting b*tch face?

[PortraitOfTerd]

but isn't talking guys "trying"l..
she's trying not to look for love so that means not bothering to talk to guys

[Anonymous]

That may have been the case decades ago, but nowadays it is dangerous for men to approach women. Also bear in mind the impact of stuff like METOO, false allegations, men being accused of street harassment and all of the other ways women complain about men that give them attention. People used to meet partners where they work.. but now they need to worry about losing their job.

A lot of guys have also walked away from relationships and women too. Many ridicule Mgtow but that won't change the fact they exist. There are also high body counts nowadays too.

[PortraitOfTerd]

i dont know, i stayed in my house for years and never left but no girls have knocked on my door to throw their self at me yet, and being honest with you... if i never try i dont see myself ever getting a girlfriend.,.. i think its bullshit, u gotta try to get something if u want that something.. same for getting a job... you look for a job... a job doesn't find you

[PortraitOfTerd]

if u wait for a job to find u you may be waiting forever

[PortraitOfTerd]

especially if when the job is offering itself to you you act unintrested in it

[garykingg]

Cause you probably go after the most handsome guy in the planet, and you probably might be having the highest standards, which are pretty impractical.

Enjoy staying single, it's actually the best way to live your life.

[Anonymous]

Your single because you rode the carasoual and your single because you want to be.

You couldn't lock down. CHAD.

And you probably have kids

[Asker]

I've had 1 guy only and I'm 29. No I don't have kids...

[zagor]

Like most trite sayings, that one is of little value and little relationship to reality. Some people are born wealthy, some have to work for it.

[2021biguy]

It's just not easy to find someone these days, everyone is trying to hook up and is online playing games. It's not you, it's just life now.

[MannyFrs]

please attach picture, saying that you're attractive doesn't really say anything

[Anonymous]

What that should say is you can happen to stumble upon it lol, if you're really lucky.

[jasco]

You should always look for love

[Wise4myage]

It’s weird but that is very true.

[Chiarac2003]

I’m sorry 💕