If a friend says “I think you’re a great person & I enjoy your company but I just want to be friends so don’t want to date” what does she mean?

[Anonymous]

She’s not attracted to you sexually/romantically

She doesn’t see you as a compatible partner (for reasons other than sexual attraction)

Other

[Anonymous]

It means she does not find you physically or sexually attractive, but wants free access to your non sexual validation, time, attention, possibly your resources (if she needs help), emotional support and / or money. The correct answer to such a phrase is 'I appreciate that you appreciate me, but I'm not looking for friendship'

This is assuming that you weren't looking for friendship. However, for the most part (assuming you are reasonably attractive) how a woman feels about you is mostly down to how you present yourself to her. A lot of guys are afraid of expressing sexual interest, flirting, teasing or saying no, so they just become friendly... then they are shocked that she only sees them as a friend. Ask yourself how a largely emotional being becomes attracted to the lack of emotional stimulation a man presents when he's just being friendly...

[Asker]

Wouldn’t it generally be the first paragraph? I would have thought if she liked a guy enough, she’d give enough signs.

[In_Trance]

It means she has no interest in you romantically or being a friend. She says that to say face and feel better about herself for shooting you down

[Asker]

I think they generally are interested in being friends when they say that. They just don’t want to date you.

[Asker]

From my experience.

[In_Trance]

Think about it why would she want to be your friend? Why would you ever want to be hers when she's just humiliated you in the greatest way possible?

[Asker]

Because she enjoys your company. Generally when you enjoy someone’s company you want to be friends with them.

[In_Trance]

She doesn't. Dont fool yourself.

[Asker]

I’m not. I have female friends I’ve made that way. And they’ve lasted years.

[In_Trance]

So you're telling me you're going to spend your free time with someone who doesn't want to be with you?
Meanwhile she's going to plow another guy...
You're wrong

[Asker]

With someone who wants to be friends with you yes.

[In_Trance]

I don't know why you bothered to ask question when you already have the answer in your mind

[Screenwriter]

Listen to what the woman is saying. She is spelling it out. Friends only. Not dating or romantic material. It doesn't matter what the reason is. Find someone who IS said material and forget about pursuing this woman further. Wasting your time.

[Asker]

A reason helps as feedback if you only ever get rejections.

[Screenwriter]

Well, many people won't give reasons. Don't want to hurt your feelings et al. And what good is this kind of feedback: I want someone taller, I don't like your nose, your personality, your odor... You can't change some of the things people don't like. MIght be why they don't give feedback..

[Asker]

Because a reason is better than no reason. I much prefer bluntness than indirectness.

[Asker]

If the reason is a reason I can’t help then so be it. That is a personal preference and that’s fine.

[Screenwriter]

And, what I'm saying is, in my experience, MOST people are indirect and don't WANT to explain, or, be direct. This is why "ghosting" is so popular. Disappearing and avoiding is easier.

[alice55]

Either there's no chemistry between you two either she isn't attracted to you physically and or there's some red flag.

[Asker]

It’s more likely to be no chemistry if she genuinely wants to be friends with you right?

[Asker]

And genuinely likes spending time with you and thinks you’re a great person.

[alice55]

Yes it's most likely chemistry

[Anonymous]

Could be either A or B or both. Unless she tells you, you won't ever know the reason for her.

[Asker]

But more likely A right?

[McKennajenay]

In my opinion a guy will pursue you only if they want too. As simple as that…

[Asker]

Yes but a reason helps as generic feedback.

[McKennajenay]

There is no reason, it just is what it is