Girls, how do I have a healthy relationship with a woman who has been abused in the past?

[CIanSpilk]

Okay, for some context, my lady was married to a guy she knew in high school. After a while he showed his true colors and he was very manipulative and would use threats to harm himself to get his way.
I met her online and when she first came over, we were going to stay together that night and have a date in the city the next day. We cuddled and at first she seemed to really enjoy cuddling, touching, and kissing. At 1 A. M. she had a panic attack and broke down when I was almost asleep. We tried to calm down but eventually she went home. We talk every day and she says she isn't used to being wanted and cared about the way I do, but also thinks I unintentionally say things that trigger her. She doesn't like the word love right now. She is very sweet and cares about me a lot. She asks if I sleep good, and if I'm eating enough. I just want things to work. I'm seeing her again this weekend.

[idkwhatsreal]

Honestly I don’t think you can really ask others. That’s going to be such a personal experience for her and everyone deals with their past differently. If you are comfortable with helping her through anything she may struggle with, and she is comfortable with you, then I would say it could be good. But as I said personal experience ranges pretty drastically, so knowing nothing about her or what she went through, or how she handled / how she handles it going forward I can’t really say with any definitiveness. I would say if you like her and she likes you it’s worth the effort to try. I will also say don’t try to force her to explain stuff if you don’t understand why she maybe reacting to something. She will tell you when she can. As long as you are there and don’t always need that explanation she will feel much more comfortable witch will lead to her ability to talk about what made her feel a certain way and how to better communicate it. Without feeling attacked or pressured. That won’t always be easy but trust me it will go along way. Don’t think you have to walk on eggshells around her either. cuz you don’t want to panic her. It’s super noticeable, I’m sure she just want someone she can actually trust. And rely on. Who isn’t trying to spin it or use her feelings to justify their own “. Just try to notice sudden changes in mood or if she gets defensive like you may have touched a nerve and act accordingly. And have fun together , enjoy each other laugh together as much as possible. Those will be happy memories. Hope this helps. good luck oh and tell her she looks good like right when you notice girls love that. Like if you notice something specific even better. “Like wow you look really good in that dress. “ “or shoes. Or hair looks great certain way to you. Tell her. Anyways sorry for this book of an answer but girls have many layers.
Bye for now.