Can a women who has only been around abusive relationships ever have a healthy one?

[Anonymous]

So basically she has no concept of what a healthy relationship looks like her mom and dad beat on each other, then her mom and step dad fought then her mom and boyfriend would fight.

[YevgenyMikhail]

Why are you trying to date someone like that because you have low self-esteem and think that's the best you'll get or you don't have a chance with someone positive? Or are you looking for someone who you think is in a weaker position than you so that you can feel in control?

For the most part, it's a bad idea to pick someone with a bunch of baggage, especially in your 30s you can't fix her and she probably won't appreciate what you're doing by trying to treat her better. It's up to her to go to therapy and get help, but instead of doing that, she tries to fill in that void with a boyfriend. She doesn't try to improve herself or get help what makes you think you're going to change her whole around and make her feel happy and complete.

[Asker]

So I was 28 when we met she was 21 but no it wasn’t low self esteem it was because she presented herself as a girl who had strong values. Then all this started coming out

[slatyb]

Yes, she can. Therapy could help a lot. So could supportive friends.

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

I know someone irl who found a real gentleman.

So, yes! I had to convince her for YEARS though, haha. 😆 Got lots of headache, because she was so hard headed! I had to frequently remind her to choose someone good for her. She had many many wrong relationships before (she's decades older than me). Then she found this guy.. and they will get married next year.

[Anonymous]

Not sure. My ex was an absolute abusive monster. I'm with a good guy now and I love him but often I miss the drama with my ex, the beatings, the rapes, the lies, the cheating, the danger, the excitement, the domination, the craziness, the sex, the sex. I did things sexually with him for him I'd never do with my boyfriend, stuff that I'm ashamed of.

[AI Opinion]

Absolutely, love can definitely turn the page for someone who's only seen tough times. It might sound like a steep mountain to climb, but it’s all about rewriting the script. Being in a cycle of abusive relationships can mess with your love compass, but with patience, understanding, and a bit of relationship savvy, she can learn what healthy love feels like. Communication is key—talking things out rather than locking horns. Also, finding someone who's gentle, understanding, and ready to work as a team can make all the difference. It’s like learning a new language; tricky at first, but oh-so-rewarding when you start getting fluent in love. 😊🌹

[Nikki1989]

Of course, they can. Men that say otherwise are probably the abusive males she needs to avoid. You can spot them from a mile away sometimes and this site is full of them.

[dudeinohio]

Nope. Been there done that. She probably went back to. finding an abusive relationship

[Asker]

When we broke up she did say she was gonna try to find another person with trauma

[WhitneySnow]

Yes but she should get therapy

[Asker]

In her words she was resilient and it didn’t affect her

[WhitneySnow]

Yes but she may have underlying trauma. She should still get therapy.

[Asker]

She would constantly refuse and anyone who would recommend therapy was gaslighting her according to her

[WhitneySnow]

Maybe not then. I think she’s not doing the right thing for herself but it’s up to her.

[ManInChains]

Can men?