Girls, Would you date a handsome intellegent good hearted guy who had very low confidence?

[Anonymous]

[Little_Bumblebee]

Probably not.
Very low confidence is a lot of work to deal with in a partner.
Having to reassure them all the time, they are often more jealous than the norm, questioning things, second-guessing, etc.
Or they let people walk all over them, and I would probably end up doing that too, and I don't want that. I want a partner who can set boundaries with me and hold me up on them, etc.

[Asker]

If you walk over others doesn't that mean you got issues too? Your behaviour is your responsibility, not your partner's to hold you upto the. You are not a dog that needs to be trained

[Little_Bumblebee]

Ah, I don't walk over others. But I do see that if a person has low self-esteem, they are often very bad at setting up boundaries, saying no to things and such things.
If I don't know if something is okay or not, and they go along with everything I ask them to, I will feel like I'm taking advantage of that at some point. - without meaning to.
I can get lost in my head, and I'm not always good at social cues, and reading them, so I need the person to be clear about things.

[Asker]

But this kind of shows you have issues as well. You want another person to take charge of you and correct your behaviour. When you are single do you feel vulnerable? If you don't, then you don't need a guy to protect you. If you do, then you yourself have confidence issues too.

[Little_Bumblebee]

Oh yeah, I know I have issues myself, so it will be a shithole if he has those kinds of issues as well, and I see it might not be compatible.
Vulnerable how? I am currently single, have been for a while and I'm not sure I'll ever be ready to be fully in a relationship again.

[Asker]

Wouldn't you want to work on yourselves together and grow with eachother? Is it fair to judge someone and even ridicule them as most women do, when the women themselves have the same issues?

[Little_Bumblebee]

Again, it depends on how bad it is.
And I don't think I ever said I would ridicule the guy?
I think some differences is good, like I'm somewhat introverted, and I would prefer to be with someone who's a little extroverted for example.

[Asker]

I could see that. It makes sense. a lot of women are very cruel to guys with low confidence though. I find it disgusting and hypocritical. Most women have lots of confidence issues themselves.

[Little_Bumblebee]

Yeah definitely.
If I'm rude to someone I usually have my reasons, but I'm not hateful toward someone just because they're shy or struggling themselves.
There are crappy people everywhere, it's sad.
And yeah, a lot of women have that. We live in a society where corporations earn money from women's insecurities in themselves, so they push marketing to make ot worse, and if you see how so many talk about a woman's body, or her age, or anything really, it makes a lot of sense.
I hope we can make a kinder world for both genders.
We all have things we struggle with

[Anonymous]

No. He can't be really intelligent and successful if he has very low confidence. I probably wouldn't mind in my early 20's but now is a deal breaker. I need a partner with whom I can feel safe living a life with, and people with low confidence just don't give me that feeling of security. They are usually pussies.

[Asker]

There are millions of people who are intelligent and handsome who have anxiety issues

[Asker]

Most guys are inherently protective of their GFS. But those who make that a prerequisite make men value them less and not care

[Asker]

Most guys with confidence issues have face some kind of abuse, often violent ones and it has damaged them. I find it almost disgusting that girls like you would call those guys pussies, yet worship some of the abusive people. I would think a woman would want to heal the damaged man and ignore or somehow go against the abusive kind. It is sad to see so many of the women of today are completely deprived of soul and virtue and humility.

[Asker]

I am sneakily trying to prove that girls like you are not looking for love and never have and will never find it because you worship power and status. Things weren't this way a couple of decades back. Confidence was not such an important issue. Actually mostly shallow women would put it at the forefront. If men were nervous or insecure to talk to them they saw it as a sign that the guys likes them as supposed to being abusive and calling them pussies. You have been degraded.

[Asker]

And men who do have power and status are smart enough to realize that girls like you need to be played and thrown away

[Asker]

It's all the backlash of the hookup culture. People don't even know what love is. Most women would prefer getting fucked hard like a slut than being made love to. This is a complete degradation of women and a vulgar disregard of femininty

[Opinion Owner]

Your problem is that you think that every confident person is abusive.

[Asker]

No I don't think every confident guy is abusive. I am myself sometimes confident, sometimes insecure. There is no such a thing as always confident. That is a narcissist sociopath. And unfortunately many women love these soulless deceptive people. They fool you easily because you are looking for something ideal which they can mimic good to pull you in. Then after some time you see that behind their smiles there was a demon awaiting. But confidence should not be such an important thing. It's become fashionable for women to make it very important. Love should be more important. And the funny thing is love is what makes a genuine man confident. If you are confident when you don't have love, you will never know the depth of love. Confidence is a characteristic of the ego. You gotta ask yourself if it is the heart you care about or the ego. Do you choose your soul or do you choose a shallow fesad. I have studied psychology and spirituality and I can tell you for 100% almost all people suffer from some kind of fear. But when you see someone else who has fear, you tend to be abusive towards them instead of realizing you have some of the same issues. It is a lack of integrity and humility and compassion and genuine grace. If you are a mouse and someone turned you into a lion temporarily you would start attacking all the mice and feeling all strong, instead of protecting the mice because you were one just not too long ago. I can go on and on but basically it is a certain shallowness and lack of integrity you suffer from but you think the problem are other people.

[Asker]

If a woman has a certain feminity and beauty and purity and humility, even the most insecure man would turn into a lion and protect her. It is not that those with less confidence are not capable of that. It is just that girls like you have none of those qualities. You judge and redicule the insecure man and label him as weak instead of helping him see the strength he already has underneath it. You and the rest of the trashy whores of today. I am sorry if I sound harsh but these are truths.

[Asker]

I truly hope you have some troubles in your life and suffer from some anxiety issues to realize how your attacking and judging of those who are wounded was honestly one of the most cruel things. You are the type of girl if your husband would become handicapped you would leave him soon. Selfish, greedy, thinking you are more important than others. I am not saying these to hurt you. I am saying these so you learn to change. Those insecure guys that are nervous to talk to you, those are the kind of guys that actually care about you and love you and will stay with you till you are 100. That much guy who flirts nicely and seems unphased by you is playing you and will use you for sex and disregard you later.

[Marianna546]

Yeah because i could make him feel very confident while having me near :))

[Asker]

Its true. Having a girlfriend increases confidence like 10x more. I am not sure why. Thats why women are often more attracted to a guy who has a girlfriend. Same guy single could be broken and miserable