What's the main reason you're single?

Question

OpenClose · Accepted Answer

After a lot of reflecting and freaking out over what I could be doing wrong, I've found my issues to be surprisingly simple.

1. Simple lack of exposure. I'm a bit of a homebody.
2. Not sexually or romantically pushy.
3. Picky.

I basically looked back, and a surprising number of girls who knew me liked me, including several who had crushes on me. And then if I liked them it was mostly a matter of getting that across.

For #1, I'm generally not motivated to get out of the house and socialize because so many of my hobbies are rather solitary. Trying to add more social ones, but I don't like the feeling like I'm dependent on someone else to stay stimulated.

So for 2, I generally don't like doing something that could make women feel unsafe, and am overly sensitive to it after a rather traumatic experience in college. So I tend to hide my feelings unless I already know she is interested.

#3 I'm finding is rather big. I'm largely turned off by the "basic white girl", preferring sciency girls, weebs, and other counter-culture girls. But I'm also VERY turned off by obesity. Like, I'm generally more attracted to men by comparison.

So yeah, many of the best girls I know are way outside the range I find attractive. I've tried it anyway, and it ended disasterously. So I tend to dissuade interest and direct her to someone less bothered by such things.

I have a friend who very much prefers overweight or obese women, and I'm somewhat jealous since it's the norm these days.

But yeah, once these conditions are met, it seems like it turned into a date more often than not.

Peanut38 · Accepted Answer

Pretty sure my standards are simply too high 😂. First of all I'm not interested in a girlfriend who drinks in unreasonable amounts or smokes, vales, etc. This alone already rules out my entire town as well as all neighboring ones, as they're all a bunch of drunks starting at the age of 14.
I've also got a preference for language. It sounds stupid, but I find German to be a very unattractive language and prefer the sound of English much more. This is a bit of a problem because I live in Germany 😅 (I'm German/American by the way). I could compromise for regular German, but many of us (me included) speak in dialects which sound like utter garbage to me.
The worst part though is the danger of having to watch English movies in German with my girlfriend. It's an absolute nightmare. I can deal with a lot of things in relationships, but I can't deal with German synchronization. I still have PTSD from watching Avengers 2 with my non-English speaking friends.

Beatrix7 · Accepted Answer

cause every guy I've been with has takin the piss the last one i broke up with 6 months ago cheated on me for 2 years and then befkre that blamed me for everything about the arguing happend but it was him not telling me the truth about what he did wheb i asked him how i felt and what was going on he just lashed out in anger because he didn't what to admit that he was wrong and done sometbing bad i herd him downstairs calljng another gil baby awl see you soon nd another time i herd him say to a girl ge said is a friend am not coming up tomorrow to go home a few hours later then he showed me his phine that had aked pictures women sent him he said be wasn't intrested in so why they still in his phond if they aren't intrested in them and i found out ofc the girl he cheated on with she had to know we where talking on the phone she explained what he was like and so did i i put pics on instagram thats how we ended up speaking we where nice to each other so his new girlfriend or not i like the lasssie i was going through the same thing i hate him not her it was his fault not ours so why hate her now he still my friend nd asking to sleep with me

Smoke-n-Growls · Accepted Answer

I'm still finding myself and working on myself.

I've had two long term straight relationships, and discovered I was bisexual between them at 27. After graduating uni, I moved from my parents' home into an apartment with my then-bf. After I broke up I was on my own for 1.5 years but still not really good at living on my own.

So I'm taking some time - no time limit, really - to just work on myself and explore.

I'm getting more involved and out in LGBTQ spaces, I'm working up to trying friends with benefits or the bathhouse in my city, and I'm putting my energy into getting my life to where I want it to be.

The goal is to get to a point where I'd be happy dating myself if I were someone else. Get slimmed down enough to present masc and fuck with gender a bit, explore sapphic love (I don't think I'll ever date a straight man again - just not enough common life experience), get my routines in order.

As Ru said, "if you can't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love someone else?"

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

Because I'm to old school to accept what dating/relationships have become: Texting as only form of communication (you want to talk to me, CALL ME), sex right away (it's worth the wait), people addicted to their phones/social media (people will say they're too busy to spend time with their partners yet be on social media all day 🤷🏼‍♀️)
Could go on, but I'll stop here lolI spent 20 years with a good man/SO (but, guess they don't make em like they used to🤣)

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I don’t initiate contact and I don’t date guys that have sex before marriage.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I'm not certain that she and I are ready to get married. But we are doing well living together.

boldlyblu · Answer

I am single right now because I came to the realization that I was with a narcissis. I had been in a domestic abuse situation a long time ago so I was aware they were out there. That alone had some harsh realities but , I could have never been prepared for the longest 2 years of my life. He undermined me, tricked, belittled me, as my adult kids and grandkids were watching. He also had stolen from my family, switched mine and my son's medicine. I lost all RESPECT for him and the air he breathes.
I couldn't very well tell my adult special needs kids and grandkids that this behavior wasn't appropriate and let them watch him tear me down daily. So I kicked him out. That folks is why I am single.

User2324 · Answer

i’m a perfectionist & tend to be very hard on myself, i’m an introvert and i have a hard time communicating things *specifically when it comes to problems* i don’t like confrontation & if something bothers me i just won’t say anything. people have told me many times that i have to speak up for myself but it’s hard. i have to change especially if i want a relationship. i don’t want to get ran over the whole time so i have to find my own voice.

Wsx2wsx2ws · Answer

Well my x wife turned coat and decided that I was the enemy. That is the main reason. Why am I still single? The second woman I FINALLY decided to open up to and take real risks for turned coat and decided I was the enemy and attacked me with all kinds of accusations.
I am not sure if its me. I would hope it is. Because I can fix that. But I wonder if those outside my thick stone battlements are not waiting for me to let my guards down again. The thick oak bar across my gate stays firmly in place.

Anonymous · Answer

most women are prostitutes
who do not love men
and they have no CHRIST
so most of them in my eyes are worthless

I thought maybe if the guy was hot it would be different
but even the hot guys are complaining about women
and their experience was similar to mine
when i hear their stories

so if attractive men can't even get something real
how much less me?
so I do not waste my time anymore

if I would have been taught this at a young age
I would have never wasted my time

but why am I single
because I made the choice to be

women change
or we will continue to kill them and rape them

SimpleGuy95 · Answer

I feel like I can't change it anymore.
I don't have the money for online dating and most women I know are either married or taken.
I'm also rather introvert and I have a hard time making friends or contacts in general.
Plus I'm self critical and I feel like I'm never ready for a relationship.

Sour-rose · Answer

Because i know everyone in this town that isn't a child. And if I don't, they are strangers... in this town. I've been here since I was born so i ain't dating someone where i know every crevice in this town. We'll get bored reaaally fast.

Also I'm asexual

DarkWinterNights · Answer

The easiest answer is I don’t put myself out there. I enjoy my own time and the freedom and extra money for my hobbies. I used to be almost desperate to find someone, but it took awhile for me to realize I wasn’t mature enough for a relationship. Now that I am, I’m not very interested in the dating market or the drama and weirdness that’s become so prevalent. There are a lot of problems with marriage so it’s no longer a priority in my life unless the laws change and I meet someone traditional.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

The only reason I'm single, is because it's difficult to find someone compatible, when both me and her, spend all of our free time at home, doing the things that make us compatible (gaming, drawing, playing instruments, reading, watching tv, etc). So basically I just don't want the type of women that I'm likely to bump into anywhere.

Reaper1985 · Answer

I'm an introvert and/or anti-social around people I don't know that well. typically only meet or talk to new people if their friends of friends. but since I've been single most of my adult life I've gotten used to it. so I don't actively try to find a new partner that often.

Adronicus · Answer

When I was younger & less secure in myself women were an absolute nightmare. I haven't forgotten & will never let one close. They've come full circle since then. I flirt at times but that's all it is. In all honesty what I feel for them is total apathy. I don't need them & would rather die alone before ever trusting one again.

JSmuve · Answer

I don't put myself out there because I don't often see the type of women I'm attracted to. When I do they're usually busy or difficult to approach. And when I somehow find the opportunity to do approach, they're typically cold, unfriendly, and standoffish so I leave soon after.

It's difficult finding a pleasant, friendly, attractive, and single girl.

Anonymous · Answer

Attracting guys who only want to use me as their therapist, always attracting manipulative men simply because I grew up in a very dysfunctional home where abuse of all kinds was inflicted and tolerated from early childhood. Hopefully I’ll find the right one who isn’t as toxic but the wait is excruciatingly painful.

Chris_7565 · Answer

My ex-wife changed after 15 years together. She seems like maybe she bumped her head like Fred Flintstone and can't remember me or anything, lol.
Oh well, but yeah I would probably still be married to her.

EllaNella · Answer

i'm not the type of person who falls in love easily and i never felt like i needed a relationship. i'm with my boyfriend because i genuinely like him and not because i just wanted to be in a relationship for the sake of it

Asu926 · Answer

I can be irritable for literally no reason and I don't want someone else to have to deal with that. Money issues, as in lack of. Laziness. I don't drive. I prefer to stay home instead of going out. The people I'm attracted to aren't attracted to me.
I'm socially awkward af. I mean, take your pick.

Anonymous · Answer

1. I don't want to be in another relationship until I'm 27.

2. I get my fair share of female attention but none of them have the kind of personality I want in a girl

3. I have high standards

4. I don't have the money right now to spend on a girlfriend

Jltakk · Answer

I didn't care about relationships until my 20s, and by then most people I had a report with were already taken or didn't see me that way. I wouldn't be pushy or approach women because I don't approach anyone. I don't like bothering people and find it incredibly annoying. The reason I'm single in my thirties is my mental health, low energy and poor financial state. I am simply in no shape to provide for someone else.

mstbooblover · Answer

The main reasons I'm single is being a widower since a few years, and considering my age, not being easy to find a girlfriend. Nevertheless, living single is not a problem with me, although I miss the intimacy of a kind regularly horny woman.

Anonymous · Answer

Most women simply don't want a relationship. And I'm not here simply to inflate her ego.
You get what you give in a relationship. Most women don't want to give anything so they get nothing from me. Eventually they turn their attention to a guy who will tell them what they want to hear. And they're TEMPORARILY satisfied.

Lionman95 · Answer

Because I'm not in a position to date. I have certain issues of my own for the time being. I've also never been in a relationship and I'm therefore if it ever happens.

VanillaSalt · Answer

That’s easy… I’m not very good at marketing and I work far too annoying if a schedule… then again I did just quit my job so let’s see if that part changes at least lol

MCheetah · Answer

I'm short (biggest reason). Overweight. Dark skinned. Ugly. Unwilling to simp or be a foot rug for a woman. Haven't found too many good single women out there.

Apulu_Imback · Answer

I don't think I should be in a relationship this young age. I will think about dating after I accomplish my dreams or at least become an adult.

Starlight007 · Answer

I don't want to be with any guy right now that's why I'm single, I feel so unready for a relationship!

1GoldTwins · Answer

Looking back at my dates, it seems like it all needs to happen fast fast fast and I can't move that fast.

alice55 · Answer

I don't go out from my house and so I meet nobody, when I go out I go out with my mom since I don't have a car.

faithgrace4u · Answer

bc my crush doesn't like me or he just won't show it that much. Or bc a lot of guys are just my friends we both friend zone each other

Adaeva · Answer

I'm single because, I'm not married. In fact, no boy has proposed to me, at least not seriously, But, I can't a few years.

Red-Blaze · Answer

On a break, I got my issues and had the guys il never want to meet again, so breaking from it doing casual till feel like doing it one more if ever

KennethNoisewater · Answer

I feel I am just too weird for most. I am too much for most to handle. I'm officially done wasting anyone's time (including myself). I manage alright though.

SixFootSexy · Answer

I'm judgmental. Also, marriage is such a raw deal for most men these days.

Rose_84 · Answer

CAN'T FIND a loyal, trustworthy, honest and a dedicated partner.

crossdressingrihno · Answer

Because I want to be and actively prevent myself from getting in relationship or even getting an emotional attachment

SeekingVirginWife · Answer

That is all my frens.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

I'm not really meeting any women that I find interesting. I'm also super focused on my career at the moment.

BlckGrl · Answer

I'm not single but the same reason was I wasn't picking the right people. Now people who wanted to be serious

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

Probably because I want to be single, and I'm not ready to date again

Juxtapose · Answer

Autism. Only one in three men with autism end up dating and I am one of the elite but that doesn't mean I have a easy time compared to you normal people who are struggling yourselves!

serious_miss419 · Answer

Because a relationship is exhausting, I don’t have to rely on someone else to bail or fail on joint costs and it’s like a chore with no payment 😂🤷‍♀️🤣🤣🤣

Marianna546 · Answer

i am busy and was once rejcted by one of my crushes lol he never said why..

Bubbles16 · Answer

I think the reason I don't have a boyfriend is because guys from tv shows and movies have raised my standards way too much

Gurupuru · Answer

I'm too old for girls I attracted to also I don't offer much I was a hang with bros type guy now all bros are older and married I still wanna hang with bros haha

GatewayRealm · Answer

I got Females I have known for a Long Time. Some females I’ve known for a Few Years.  I can call any one of them up and they’ll be at my Door ready to Fuck.

Sorbay · Answer

when i was fat i craved attention then i got fit and abs and i started to notice all the girls i used to lust for could lose a couple pounds then the tables turned

billmunch · Answer

I have sex with almost 700 prostitutes, so that's just one of the reasons.

JHNS98 · Answer

I have three reasons, but don't know which to consider most significant.

Anonymous · Answer

By choice. I've taken a break from dating because nothing materialises from it. I either don't really like them or they don't like me.

BHooper · Answer

Body insecurities caused by body dismorphia. I'm working on it though. I'm down 33kg and still working hard to gain confidence.

safwat1 · Answer

I dont have the best humour, i can't make them laugh like many other. i tend too be honest and sometimes too honest..

BillyBalls · Answer

I am (never married) single. I might be a bit crazy but I've never been insane enough to get married.

Anonymous · Answer

It's not a woman problem. There are just as many broken men.

scott04sa22 · Answer

I don’t drive and I’m unable too. that’s also my number 1 rejections I always get from women 🤷‍♂️

msc545 · Answer

The main reason is a very bad divorce, and because I am now a lot smarter.

clampfan101 · Answer

I can’t drive yet. >_>; And online “dating” sucks.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

The MAIN reason I'm single is because I can't afford to spend money on Match. com right now.

Crepe_tart · Answer

Too busy with college stuff

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Not single so... but when i am its because i want to be.

What's the main reason you're single?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

What is the primary reason of your being single?

What's the main reason you're single?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

What is the primary reason of your being single?

We're glad to see you liked this post.