Girls, If a guy you met on dating app asked if you are trans (he was polite with the whole time earlier) and your not. Would that be a huge insult?

[Anonymous]

I recently connected with a woman on a dating app that seems a bit too good to be true. She’s 12 years younger, very attractive and she often messages me first. She hasn’t asked me any “shit test” questions yet. She hasn’t complained about anything in her life. She always texts me first (we exchanged phone numbers). She’s traveling out of state right now and we plan to meet next week.

Nowadays (I’m 40) it’s sadly rare I connect with very attractive young women on dating apps unless they are fake, after money or after the friéndzone setup (looking for “orbiters”). However she’s done none of this. Also lots of trans women go on dating apps trying every opportunity possible. They have to swipe right more than average looking cis guys do.

Should I keep asking her for more pics? She’s only sent me two so far (she was modestly dressed). She has a feminine looking face but I know the surgeries can be very convincing nowadays. She also looks like she got a boob job (she’s huge up top). While many cis women get this done it’s simply a necessity for trans ones.

How can I verify this? If she is trans I’ll politely say thank you and leave. But if she isn’t this could potentially ruin everything.

I just don’t want to find out on a date. People can do what they what with their lives and bodies but I want nothing to do with that.

[Espresso-Grande]

Not at all. I'd assume he was just making sure, cos you never know in this day and age 😂

[Espresso-Grande]

Thanks for the MHO

[Smashingdoozy]

Personally it would be a red flag if you asked. Simply because it shows me that we would not agree on that topic.

[Asker]

And likewise.

[Smashingdoozy]

Maybe it's wise to ask then. You could find out her views at the same time.

[Asker]

I specifically said I don’t care about what life choices they make. But from I’m sensing from you is that “men shouldn’t turn down trans women” as if our dating preferences are “discriminatory”

Is that what you are saying?

[Smashingdoozy]

Nope not at all. You do you. But I wouldn't date you because I imagine you would say some shitty stuff about trans people (whom I'm friends with a few) and asking a woman if she is trans kinda just shows me that you're probably one of those people. Basically it seems like you have to be absolutely sure she isn't before continuing because it's playing on your mind so much. Which to me is strange. Soo she may have similar feelings.

[Asker]

I had a bad experience with this years ago. I don’t care to repeat it.

I’m sure there is a market out there for her. But trans people need to be forthcoming in their dating profiles about this. Many of them are not because they know they will get fewer matches. They think they can hide that major detail and bring it up later. Like the guy will somehow change his mind. I can tell you that the vast majority won’t nor should we be compelled otherwise. Not bringing that up immediately is cat fishing. Plain and simple.

[Smashingdoozy]

That's not why they keep it unknown. They keep it a secret until they are comfortable with the person because there have been many instances where someone pretends to be okay with it then beats the shit out of them when they meet. It's for safety. Surely you understand that

[Asker]

That makes absolutely no sense.

It would be much more likely that a guy would get pissed off if he was lied to in the beginning vs. some random psycho acting like he’s interested just to meet up to beat the shit out of them.

The latter people do sadly exist but their exceedingly rare. Especially in western countries (different story in Russia)

No the reality is they made a life altering decision and have to live with the consequences. If that makes them feel like their “true gender” then by all means go ahead. But when it comes to romantic relationships they have no right to act disingenuous or worse claim “transphobia” just because most people don’t want to date them. Hell no.

[Smashingdoozy]

That's your opinion. I stand by trans peoples right to not disclose their medical information.

[Asker]

Well I stand by having the right to know a major detail about someone before I get romantically involved with them.

As a man I am used to women grilling me and rejecting me for often fickle reasons. And when you say they have a right to not disclose their “medical” information you are making it sound like they had to transition to save their lives or something. Nice semantics there but I don’t think so.

You want people to respect and accept trans people more? Well don’t justify disingenuous behavior like concealing your trans before you go on a date with someone. Just be proud of it and admit it outright. Sure you will get fewer dates but at least there is no secrets when you finally do land one.

[Smashingdoozy]

You're very uneducated.

[Asker]

Yes I must be a backwoods redneck or something since I prefer to date someone with ovaries.

You want to go down this rabbit hole? What I said above was simple logic and I am not going to cave to woke mental gymnastics. Whatever ideology you are following is not sound logical education.

I never said anything negative about these people other than not wanting to date one. I have worked with them and I can be friends with one if we got along. It’s their choice. I do believe gender dysphoria exists however it is actually much more rare than people make it out to be.

Would you accept being shamed about where and you do and do not want to put your genitals? I highly doubt it.

But you know what go ahead and just say it. Start calling people “transphobic” just because they prefer not to date transphobic people. See how far that gets you.

[Smashingdoozy]

Not all cis women have ovaries. Heck I've only got one.

[Asker]

So i take it that some cis women have the Y chromosome too?

[Smashingdoozy]

Yeah.. . It's called swyer syndrome

[Asker]

If we are talking about people who have rare genetic abnormalities (e. g. hermaphroditism) that is a hardware issue and that’s one thing. Those people have my support to do what they think is most natural for their bodies.

However if we are talking about people who were born with all the biological chemistry and anatomy of either a male or female (which consistently exists across all mammalian species) and they mentally identify as another gender that’s another.

I acknowledge there is a very rare yet real psychological condition of gender dysphoria. However that our society had observed exponential rates of transitioning e. g. over 500% growth of female teenagers who are now identifying as male.

Can you tell me with a straight face that social contagion has is not any factor with all of this transitioning? On top of that I never said it was wrong for a full grown adult who makes this decision (I got a different opinion about pushing kids into this). I may not agree with that but again it’s a free country. But when your choices impact MY lifestyle e. g. shaming me for not wanting to date a trans woman then yes I will god damn speak up.

[Smashingdoozy]

Nobody has shamed you. I don't know why you keep replying. I just told you my opinion.

[Asker]

Yes you are shaming me. You flat out said “personally it would be a red flag if you asked”.

Funny you call me “very uneducated” and yet have no logical rebuttal to what I said above.

[Smashingdoozy]

Yeah... That is my personal opinion. Hence the "personally"

[Asker]

Believe what you want. But more “trans rights”
progresses the more it at great odds with women’s rights. Society is now observing:

- Biological men competing and dominating women’s sports (and cis women are supposed to just “accept” that)
- Biological men using the gender identity of “female” to invade woman’s restrooms, locker rooms, spas, etc. which opens up all sorts of sicko potential.
- Biological men identifying as women to get more lenient criminal sentencing in sexual assault and rape cases.
- Huge increases of teen girls who are now identifying as “boys” and getting testosterone hormone treatment. There is no idea what kind of long term damage this can do to their bodies
- kids being subjected to “trans education” without parental consent. And now most heinously being potentially given puberty blockers until they “choose their gender”. I didn’t get into that yet because once I start on that I won’t stop.

But somehow all of the above is justified because I am “not educated” about it…. right? Just to old school? Just transphobic?

[Smashingdoozy]

-What trans women are beating cis women?
-creeps will be creeps no matter what the rules are.
- that's literally never happened.
- we do actually know the long term effects of hrt
- education is never bad.
- many cis kids need to go on puberty blockers. Nobody is seriously suggesting to enforce it for everyone.

You're buying in to the crazy shit. People will literally say anything about something they know nothing about because they are afraid of the unknown.

[Asker]

Detailed response with sources are forthcoming on that (hard to copy and paste all that on my mobile phone).

But I’ll give you one right off the bat. This is trans woman who competed in mma who brutalized several women. Would you like to step in the cage with her if you wanted to compete?

https://www.sherdog.com/fighter/Fallon-Fox-100599

[Smashingdoozy]

Ah the one person everyone always talks about. The injury that was caused is an incredibly common injury in MMA that literally anyone could have caused cis or not.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

If you're going this far, just ask.