Not talking morals. But social engineering. Older women are having trouble finding dates right? Younger women are wanting older men? Should we right this discrepancy? Usually doesn't end well for either woman…
1) The media could be blamed for casting teens with 40yr old male actors. This could be influencing young women.
2) Whats also an issue is the economics of being a Gen Z. Not much good news on that front. And women are taught to seek out established men.
People should date their own age
Date how you want
Not sure
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Please select your age
Should people be dating their own age or is that not an issue?
I'm honestly so sick of old farts on here claiming that young women want old men. No, we don't want old men. We like "older men" by 5-10 years older, not an old fat uncle or a grandpa. Quit posting pictures of 20 yr old women dating 40 yr old men, like its your fantasy obsession or something. I'm 26, not interested in some old man with wrinkles, hair loss, weight gain, white hairs, muscle loss, saggy balls, erectile dysfunction, dick not working sometimes. Never am I gonna ever find that shit attractive. I like tall, dark and handsome muscular young guys , in shape, strong and fast with a full head of hair and no wrinkles.
I prefer marrying someone closer to my age (10 years or less apart) because that is something I can grow old with. You can't grow old with someone who is already old. Young men also have better quality sperm and a longer lifeline, more energy to raise kids with. why the hell would I have kids with a 46-55 yr old man who is gonna retire before my kid starts college? they're not gonna have the energy to keep up with raising the kids either. I'm not interested in being married to some old ugly wrinkly senior citizen by the time I'm 45 either.
take a look at the numbers, vast majority of young women are marrying men less than 10 years older than them. None of them are marrying mcaddies or grandpas.
well women in their 20s are in their prime of their life and have tons of options. even you said that. you said you only want to date women in their 20s.
why shouldn't I have a lot of pride, saggy wrinkly old man with no hair?
don't confuse an "older man" with an "old man". I'm 26, I like older guys in their prime ages 29-34. 35 is when most guys hit the wall. I'm not interested in some saggy mcdaddy or grandpa. I don't go to senior homes to find dates either.
"Just wait till you're 40 and hit the wall, no 28 yr old would look your way."
This is kind of true. I'm 44, and 10 years ago (@30-35) I was getting attention from all women from high school girls crushing on me to literal grandmas. The last 5 years I am like invisible to any woman under 30. It does still make a difference though how you interact with others. I have had a few women in the 18-30 range who start crushing on me after we chat a bit. It's just I don't get checked out or approached anymore. Or like 5% of what I used to.
Even if young women rush on you, its unlikely they would marry you. Some would date and play around with a much older man but never officially commit or see a long term future with you.
You can't grow old with someone who is already old. Those who marry spouses that are significantly older are at immense risk of staying in an unfulfilling and unsatisfying marriage in their later years. They will just end up finding themselves married to a senior citizen by the time they hit their 40s.
Even if young women crush*** on you, its unlikely they would marry you. Some would date and play around with a much older man but never officially commit or see a long term future with you.
You can't grow old with someone who is already old. Those who marry spouses that are significantly older are at immense risk of staying in an unfulfilling and unsatisfying marriage in their later years. They will just end up finding themselves married to a senior citizen by the time they hit their 40s.
When i was 24, i fell in love with a 46 yr old single dad with 2 kids. He liked me a lot too. I rejected him because i just couldnt see a long term future with him. He was 22 years older. By the time i am 38, he will be a senior citizen. I wanted a man i could grow old and raise kids with. I couldnt do that with him.
He said that he would still want to have kids at 50. I looked at him as if he were insane. How much energy would he have to handle a couple of newborns / little kids at the age of 50? How will he support the kids after he retires? Will i spend the remaining 40-50 years dying alone without a husband? What kind of childhood would a kid have?
@shaysh87 I'm not really following your math. Are you suggesting men die around 55? It seems a bit young. I have a friend whose dad was around 50 when he was born. He said it was okay, and that his dad did regular dad stuff with him like playing sports and all. Seemed a well adjusted guy. I don't know. It sounds like you've got your own perspective and preferences, and justifications for them. I don't think it's totally unrealistic for others to have different experiences, though; I have seen plenty of examples that contradict this idea that it's not something anyone would do.
As for marriage, more than 50% of them are failures, which is worse odds than flipping a coin. I don't think the age matters, either. It's just statistically a broken institution, something that doesn't work more often than it does.
you're 44 right now, and you've opted to go for a 29 yr old rather than a 60 yr old right? you want younger. you don't want a senior citizen. what makes you think your 44 yr old wife would be happy to be married to you by the time you turn 60?
why would I have a child with a 55 yr old? you're gonna fucking retire in a few years when the kids are still very very young. how are you gonna support the goddam kid after you retire? how the fuck are you gonna send your kid to college? College costs hundreds of thousands of dollars.
what kind of childhood is my kid gonna have with a dad who is too old to teach him to swim, ride a bike, motorcycle, or go traveling with?
how is a 55 yr old gonna keep up with juggling working a full time job, staying up all night with a couple of crying newborns or chasing kids at home all day? Vast majority of 55 yr olds are old and eager to start retirement and barely have the energy to keep up with their busy careers.
This is not just my perspective. These are real life consequences of marrying a significantly older spouse.
Being in denial will not eliminate these consequences. No smart intelligent girl will ever marry someone significantly older.
And also, its extremely selfish of you to think its a good idea to have a kid at 55. Very selfish.
Women live longer than men. I'm not interested in spending the remaining 30-40 years of my life dying alone without a spouse.
I'm not interested in being married to a senior citizen by the time I hit 40. At 40, I want to have a sexy, glamorous marriage to a man who can still have sex , play around and run around with, someone that can keep up with me.
I'm not interested in the idea of being the sole person financially responsible of supporting 3 kids because my old husband is retired. I would be the only breadwinner and also be the sole person paying for my 3 children's college tuitions all by myself. Likely I would be telling my kids that I can't afford to send them to college. I would be telling my kids that a higher education wouldn't be an option to them.
By the time you're 55, your sperm quality isn't that great either. I'm not interested in putting my own precious little baby at risk. Its been proven that offspring to older fathers not only have more issues at birth but also tend to be at higher risk of autism, less intelligent, less capable, at higher risk of mental health issues throughout life.
I know its difficult to hear this type of stuff. But these are very very real unpleasant consequences that come with marrying a significantly older spouse.
Once the honeymoon phase is over, the unpleasant realities will settle in and it won't be fun for the younger spouse.
@zeitgeist057 Aging will eventually get to you regardless if you exercise. Even if you exercise all the way until you're 65, you still won't be able to catch up with someone who is 40. Eventually you will also have stop exercising because its putting too much strain on your bones. You can slow aging but you can't stop aging. You will age regardless if you exercise, eat well, stay fit. there's no magic pill to stop aging. 75% of aging has to do with genes. You will likely end up like your parents , once you hit an elderly age.
@shaysh87 if you don't want to put your "own little precious baby at risk", then you probably shouldn't have one since you're already over 30. The risk of Down Syndrome is connected to the mother's age, not the father's, and increases exponentially every year after age 30.
"The incidence of fetal trisomies is directly related to maternal age.7 The risk of having a child with Down syndrome increases in a gradual, linear fashion until about age 30 and increases exponentially thereafter". www.aafp.org/pubs/afp/issues/2000/0815/p825.html
You could still adopt a healthy baby, at an older age.
The irony runs thick here. It's just a terrible horrible idea, unless you're the one who wants to do it. I'm not making anything up, that's just the facts, ma'am. Do with them what you will. I just thought I'd mention it since you're very concerned about the health of a baby in relation to the age of the parents. Or maybe you're only concerned with the father's age, and the risks associated with the mother's age are ones you're willing to take, since again, it's okay if it's you, you're the exception.
I related to you a story about a guy I know who has an older dad and turned out happy and fine, and you dismiss it. You then tell me your anecdotal tale of woe regarding your own older dad, and I'm supposed to take it as a solid argument? Again, you go on about exceptions, but it doesn't apply when you're the exception.
I have a hard time taking advice/opinion seriously from a stance of such blatant hypocrisy. I don't really need child bearing advice, anyway, it's not applicable to me. Not much of your argument really relates to me at all, actually. I'm not looking to get married, nor have babies. For me it's all hypothetical conversation, but it sounds like you are actually considering having a baby.
. You've got the facts in front of you. If you want to ignore and cherry pick, that's fine. But I would have a serious look at those odds, and if you insist on having a baby, sooner will be better than later. As it illustrates, the risk is exponential. That means it increases in multiples, not just a little bit at a time.
Older dads are often times forced to work beyond retirement in order to support their kids. Older parents frequently have a much harder time raising kids than younger parents. Frequently kids born to old fathers can't even afford to go to college. Not only this, kids are much more likely to have inferior shorter childhoods. When dad is too old or not there to pay for things, financial burden will fall on the kid very early in life once he or she reaches 18.
And just because you saw a few kids being born to old fathers, it does not prove that old fathers aren't at much higher risk of producing less healthy, defective offspring. Kids born to old parents are not only at higher risk of autism but also mental illnesses throughout life. I have known an old father who had 2 kids, one of whom is autistic. Another man who had kids at 48, his 12 yr daughter has always been full of health issues.
These are all facts about being an old father. Its not false just because it does not sound nice to you. At the end the only ones with the most to lose are the kids.
Again , its hella funny how you say its bad for a woman to have kids at 31. Meanwhile you're desperately trying to prove how men should still have kids at 55.
Dude , if you're implying its good thing to have kids at 55, why can't I have kids at 40? Why can't i do ivf treatnents and have another kid at 45?
Clearly the wellfare of your own offspring is not any of your priorities. Neither is providing a good childhood / decent education for your kid any of your concerns
At the end of the day, its always the kids that suffer due to their parents seflishness
By the way, I am 26, not 31. I'm planning on having kids at 31-35. I'm not planning on having kids at an advanced age. Its not worth the risks and I want to be able to support my kids through college and be finished on time to retire.
@Tornado92 Expired shit! Never heard THAT expression before. Hilarious, but awfully mean! whew!!! Let me get outta the way. I'm older than dirt. Wait a minute... Need some water.. Sooo dry... !!! Osteo Bi Flex for my creaking joints, hylauronic acid for my wrinkles and my false teef. WHERE MAH FALSE TEEF?
@zeitgeist057 I didn't hit my stride until I was in my early 60s. You guys have weak genes. Just keep exercising and humping some iron (I mean weight lifting), stay out of the sun, moisturize.
I'm interesting to talk to because I'm INTERESTING. I don't have to be young. Young men might not see me... but if I get a chance to talk to someone, I'm fascinating. It's all about THE ENTIRE PACKAGE.
Ummm... You're offering incorrect information. Exercise STRENGTHENS bones and staves off osteoporosis, for those who are vulnerable to that issue. NO ONE should stop exercising. Exercise prevents pain from arthritis and other minor slings and arrows of aging. It keeps you flexible. It also strengthens your heart and lungs and keeps your body fit. Walking is a superior and easy exercise. Lessens depression, keeps joints supple.
The way to debilitative aging is to DO NOTHING. There is nothing more joyful than to get out and DO! All my family are active people and the eldest are pushing 80. PUtting up sheetrock, repairing roofs, bricklaying, which I've done myself, gutter cleaning, also my personal, yet hated, yearly job. Lawn mowing, gardening. There is so much to do that is enjoyable and healthy.
And I restate, I'm not an exception. The RULE IS few people do nothing and age badly. No one is falling apart in their 40s and 50s unless it's because of disease. 60s are the challenge time: you either start using it, or you'll lose it. There's more aches and pains, but you keep on keeping on and you'll well into your 80s, as my dad, who died at 87 did. I'm looking forward to 95 AT LEAST.
You can slow aging but you can't stop aging. Even if you are 60 and have the energy of a 50 yr old, you still won't be fit for the role of a parent to young children. 75% of aging has to do with genes. You likely will turn out how your parents turned out.
I would expect a woman your age to be mature to argue over petty facts. But apparently, the saying "some people do not mature with age " is very true.
Other than that, you there's no way you would've made a good mother if your child not having the opportunity to attend college doesn't bother you one bit. Actions speak louder than words.
what is the point of spewing out all that flowery proud arrogant non sense words if your actions prove you're not someone of decent character?
Please grow up. there's nothing pettier than an old lady choosing to argue over petty facts. The only reason why you are still arguing over non sense with me is because this is the internet where you get to be anonymous , hiding behind your computer screen. You know your words leave you no consequences on your reputation and dignity.
I'm not interested wasting time with a petty person in a petty fight over basic facts.
I didn't say "Some people don't mature with age." Zeitgeist did. "Even if you are 60 and have the energy of a 50 yr old, you still won't be fit for the role of a parent to young children. 75% of aging has to do with genes. You likely will turn out how your parents turned out."
Right. This is true. And my parents and grandparents lived into their 80s and 90s quite healthily.
You're "not a good mother if your child not having the opportunity to attend college doesn't bother you one bit." This doesn't bother me one bit because I have paid for my son to attend college.
How can you judge my character if you can't keep straight who's said what in your thread? You keep accusing me of saying something I never said and that another person in your thread opined on.
You also offer statements you consider "facts" that are opinions. What studies have you cited? None.
You are basing your opinions almost completely on YOUR PERSONAL EXPERIENCE with having older parents and extraploating to everyone else. Until you have knowledge of many other children who've been raised by older parents, or better yet GRANDPARENTS, you cannot comment on this rationally.
You're also very angry and resentful because your parents didn't send you to college, something you expected, but I've never seen that there were promises from them to send you. And If you sincerely wanted to go, you would find a way through scholarships and work study. I worked my way through college and graduate school. My parents helped me. But I paid most of my way after I dropped out earlier on.
You have to stop blaming them and take responsibility for yourself.
Young, financially insecure women are sometimes taught to chase older men with money. This is usually to their advantage and the older men aren't going to chase after them... they just can't anymore... to see what they're doing when not with "daddy." So these sugarbabies get their cake and get to go out with younger men when grandpa is asleep. The same applies the other way around with young, financially insecure straight and gay men attaching themselves to older partners.
That's the darker side of the story. The other side? Some younger people create good lives and relationships with older parners because they've admired fathers, mothers or grandparents in the past or because of the cultures or families they come from.
Catherine Zeta Jones has been with Michael Douglas for 22 years. He's 77. She's 52. They have two grown kids together. The pair are both talented actors. 25 years married! Incredible track record in Hollywood OR the planet.
I'm sure some of his attractiveness to her was his power status in Hollywood. He could produce and open doors for her. He recognized her skills and wanted to develop them. They're both pretty people, and if they didn't have other factors in common, values et al, they wouldn't have lasted this long.
There are many and complex factors. Giant age differences make a long-term relationship difficult because of societal and familial pressures. Someone will always accuse one or the other person of using one or the other member in the couple. But if it's mutually agreed upon, unless the use is criminal and abusive, what does it matter to us?
People make choices that make sense to them. I hope whatever those are, they can be happy with them.
do you realize that very very few 50 yr olds are happy to be married to 70 yr olds? Studies have proven that marriages with significant age gaps tend to divorce more, have sharper declines in martial satisfaction compared to those who married someone closer to their own age. Just because you are happy at 25 being married to a 40 yr old, it does not mean you will have the same marital satisfaction by the time you're 45 and he's 60. Eventually it will come back to bite you in the ass hard.
@shaysh87 Well, over time people adjust to differences. I wouldn't choose it, but for those who do, I'm sure they have long discussions about the changes that will come with the future. And changes are usually gradual, so people get used to them. It's not 45 and 60 that are the issue. It's 65 and 80 that feature the biggest changes.
actually you would assume that many of these people discuss these things but the reality is, most of them do not. I have encountered countless women who have married significantly older men who have never ever thought about the day where she will be 45 finding herself being married to a senior citizen. I have also met many older women who married significantly older husbands who advised me on not marrying too much older.
And its very easy to understand why they are unfulfilled or dissatisfied with their marriages, when you're 45 years old, you're still full of energy, want to do things in life, might still have a good sex drive. Your spouse who is 60 is very well into their decline energy wise, sexually wise, physically wise. You might no longer be attracted to your spouse one bit. When you want to explore 3 new countries for vacation, he wants to go on a quiet cruise with the retirees. When you want to have sex, they don't want to. When you want to stay up early, they want to go to sleep early. When you want to leave the house, they want to stay in to watch the tv.
Sure you can stay married to someone like that because you might be severely attached to them after seeing them daily for the past 20 years. But the question is: are you truly fulfilled being married to someone like that?
Women live longer than men. So if your husband is 15 -20 years older than you, get ready to spend the remaining 20-40 years dying alone.
As you can see, the consequences are immense when it comes to marrying someone significantly older.
if your spouse birthed a child at 45, will they have the energy to keep up with staying up all night taking care of a couple of newborns or chasing little kids until they are well into their 50s? By the time most people hit their early 50s, they start wanting to retire. Bodies wear out as we age. Raising children requires a lot of hard work and it requires Someone who has the energy / endurance to do it. How will this older spouse continue supporting their kids after they retire? will the younger spouse be responsible for paying their children's college tuition all by themself? will the younger spouse spend the remaining 30-40 years dying alone? How about becoming a nurse to your 65 yr old spouse by the time you hit 50?
I just think its extremely unfair to the younger spouse and its very unrealistic to marry someone that you cannot grow old with.
@shaysh87 You have very narrow ideas of what 65 is. I'm 66 and I bike and garden and lift weights and have two part time jobs and am about to get a third. I don't need a nurse maid and few 65 year olds do. Neither my dad nor my mom did.
I had my son at 40 and I ran after him through my 50s. I hope to go to Yellowstone with him and hike in the hills of Alabama.
Some people are sturdy and don't wear themselves out and are active and enjoy doing and going. I'm digging a bioswale in my front yard and I push mow my lawn at least once a week. I don't have a big lawn, but it's work. I'm also painting the inside of my house and hope to paint the outside again. It's been a few years since I did it before. My gutters need cleaning and I do that once a year too...
Oh, and the figs will be ripe in a few weeks and I have to get out the ladder and pick them and can them. ...
It's all according to what kind of person is involved and and how active and healthy they are. Some people fall apart, others not so much. I plan to stay as active as possible and those are the kinds of people I want to be around. Maybe I'm rare. I don't know. But I know we're out here!
Just ask yourself. how many people are still active in their 60s? not many. You dont represent vast majority of people in their 60s and you know that. you just won't admit it.
and how can you predict how much energy you will have in your 60s? Much of aging has to do with genetics. When my mother was 40, she looked like she was 30. By the time she hit 60, she had very little energy, enjoyed staying home, had no sex drive, could not run, very weak, shrunk 3 inches. Now she is 63, she has continued to shrink , doesn't enjoy hard labor, doesn't clean teh house as much as she used to because she simply cannot keep up with the physical demand.
who cares about whether or not you can run after your son, if your husband is not even slightly attracted to you at all? or if you have absolutely no sex drive while your husband still has a raging sex drive?
he's taking you to the doctor and reminding you to take your medication while other men around his own age are having sex with their wives, traveling, riding motorcycles, going on adventures. Everyone else's marriages are sexy and glamorous and full of fun. Meanwhile you're stuck with a senior citizen who is getting slower, more unattractive, lethargic, health issues as he ages.
Its not worth it.
Nobody caers if you're an exception. You don't represent the vast majority.
@shaysh87 I didn't SAY I was an exception. I don't know the statistics on older parents/people. They are a minority, sure. But unless you have close, personal experience with older parents and mixed-age couples, how can you speak for how bad their relationships or parenting is?
Even if everyone YOU know is old and decrepit, that is anecdotal experience, not statistical fact..
Here's one article I found:
"Another factor at play may have to do with the stage of life each partner is experiencing. For instance, a 10-year gap between a 20-year-old and a 30-year-old may bring up different challenges and issues than for a 10-year gap where one partner is 53 and the other is 63.
This is because our lives are made up of different stages, and each stage consists of particular life tasks we need to master.
And we give priority to the mastery of different tasks during these distinct stages of our lives. So when each member of a couple straddles a different life stage, it may be difficult for the couple to reconcile each other's differing life needs and goals. Does age matter?
The success of a relationship depends on the extent to which partners share similar values, beliefs and goals about their relationship; support each other in achieving personal goals; foster relationship commitment, trust and intimacy; and resolve problems in constructive ways. These factors have little do with age."
So, this article says, while an age gap may bring about challenges for couples, as long as couples work at their relationship, age should not be a giant barrier. Also, it has to do with their level of discomfort with their age differences too.
Gery Karantzas is an associate professor in social psychology and relationship science at Deakin University. This piece first appeared on The Conversation.
But you talk about decline as if people are dead at 60. That's not been my familial experience. I come from long-lived, long vital people, and unless I have a terrible accident, I intend to keep myself tuned up as well as I can.
It's completely up to the couple and their values and attitudes. I hope to keep duck hunting and hiking until I can't stand anymore... Yellowstone and Bryce Canyon here I come.. At 70 the Great Barrier Reef to dive for a week... I haven't planned 75 yet. Danube River cruise...
Only problem I see about aging is having ENOUGH MONEY TO DO EVERYTHING!!! Good luck with your life!
I'm not interested in being married to someone I'm not physically attracted to or someone who can't have sex at all by the time I'm 40. It does not matter if you can still run or jog by that age. My grandma is 83 and she can still walk extremely fast, jog, do housework, shopping, cleaning.
Do you think it would be a wise idea for my 40 yr old uncle to marry an 83 yr old woman who can still jog?
he's gonna be married to someone without a sex drive, someone who cannot match up his energy level. Just because you can jog at 83 , it does not mean you have the same energy as a 40 yr old. My grandma can still jog but she is not interested in traveling 3 countries with me, ride motorcycles with me, ride bikes, rollerblade, stay up late at night at parties.
And who the hell wants to spend their remaining 30-40 years dying alone without a spouse. Women live longer than men. If your husband is 15-20 years older than you, you may very well spend a significant chunk of your life being a lonely widow. If such a thing happens by accident then we have no other choice but to let it be. But who the hell would intentionally set themselves up for that kinda life? Spending 30-40 years dying alone is easier said than done.
@shaysh87 And here's another incorrect assumption you have. That someone 83 has no sex drive. Or someone 73 or 63 or 53! Where do you come up with these ideas? This is just plain wrong. Unless someone is physically disabled by illness, sex drives, though they might not be as bodacious as 25 year olds, are alive and well as long as a person is alive and well. I speak for myself and all the people who are still interested. Though there are those whose drives are felled by diabetes and like problems, people still love to touch and be touched, and be sexual. I'm still looking for a partner who is in that boat and will continue to have a paddle.
@Screenwriter I have to say the women in my family and friends are more closely modeled to you than to shahsh87's ideas about people basically being walking dead at 65. My aunt is in her late 70s and does more traveling than I do, hosts more parties, and is very active. I don't know the statistics, and I work in healthcare, so I see all the sick people of various age groups. I'm 44, and I had a patient just the other day the exact same age as me, but in terrible condition: overweight, never exercises, smokes, can barely move, mental issues, and a whole laundry list of medical complications and pathologies. It really is up to an individual how they take care of themselves.
But it's common with younger people to think of those who are older as unfathomably old, until they get there. When you are 6, the 10 year olds are like gods to you, they're so big and mature and cool. When you're 14, it's the 15 and 16 year olds. Your aunts and uncles in their 30s or 40s are ancient. I remember as a teenager being pretty sure I'd be dead sometime in my mid to late 30s, and couldn't imagine life being remotely interesting after that. It's only as I get older that I realize it's not really that much different. Just older, a bit more experience, a bit slower to heal. But not the walking dead scenario younger people paint in their imaginations.
@zeitgeist057 I lived in a family with a hilariously sexual dad who was always chasing my mom around the kitchen and a mom who admitted she had to. use birth control during menopause, in her 50s, so we wouldn't all have a little surprize. I'm so glad my parents were so honest. And so funny!
And that sexual drives were just another natural thing about living that my parents weren't ashamed to show us. We had to snicker at the dinner table all the time. It was such fun. Dad would tell dirty jokes in the car while we were driving from state to state on vacation. Ribal!
So life-affirming!.. My son, who's 27 now, talks very honestly with me about his attraction to dumb women who are hot. I keep urging him to look beyond the hotness so he'll be MORE satisfied. That hot wears out pretty fast. Woman with a brain and hot is what to look for. But, that young man's libido is a real blinded me with science thing!
He'll get there... But the reason he'll get there is because he's been raised by my side of family and we TALK about such stuff. IT's not like I always wanted to hear about menopause and such, but I'm glad my mom told me. My neighbor told me hot flashes COME BACK!!! AHHHH!!! They have... Jesus pete.
But I've lived long enough to know it... I don't mind. IT's about life and learning. Maybe this young woman will learn from us! Kisses!!!
Exceptions do not make the rule. So quit obsessing over it. Even if you wanted to have sex at 83, nobody would want to have sex with you. You will not be able to get into sex positions either. Your body might be too stiff. You might suffer from pain after trying those sex positions. Your younger partner might be unsatisfied due to your poor sexual performance. Did you want to have sex with an 83 yr old when you were 40? I dont think so. Its not sexy or glamorous being married to senior citizen. At some point, you will feel more like a nurse than a wife / husband.
@zeitgeist057 There are very few women who are the fan of the idea of marrying a significantly older spouse. And the ones who do marry significantly older spouses are usually dumb and end up regretting it 15-20 years later. Or if they were smart, they're usually in it for the money or inheritance.
You can't grow old with someone who is already old. Its unrealistic, unpractical, and with a ton of consequences.
I'm sorry if I came across as condescending but its my personality to speak up for reality is. As young people, we are looking for someone we can grow old and have kids with.
And if you're looking to have kids, please don't do it at 55. Your kids will suffer a lot of consequences from that and its not something they ever had a choice in. Quality of childhood really goes downhill being born to older parents. I know this from personal experience being born to a 37 yr old and my brother being born to a 40 yr old.
@shaysh87 Yours in ONE example. I had my son at 40 and he had a wonderful childhood. I went out of my way to make sure of that. And an older parent has different gifts to offer a child in financial security, patience and experience. You cannot choose for people. IT's unfortunate you didn't have a positive childhood, but many older parents PLAN to give their kids great c hildhoods to the best of their ability.
There are some who don't consider that they might not be around when their kids are 18 and don't have failsafes in place, or people who can help in that event.
And what's all this about an 83 year old can't have sex because they can't get into sexual positions. There are positions that are easy to get into. It's not all about marathon sex. You are incredibly narrow-minded about older people. If you can't do it one way, you will find another. Humans are inventive.
And how do YOU know no one would want to have sex with me? I've seen some naked 80 plus year olds who look beautiful. Maybe not to you. But in good shape for their age. That's all I want and I'm positive about myself. I know my beauty. It's too bad you can't see it applies to any age! Good luck !
The Problem with having parents that are too old is that they dont have the ability to relate to their children due to vast maturity differences. Younger parents tend to be more playful, more understanding of mischief, more able to relate and understand teenage behavior. My boss had a kid at 36 and her son tells her the same thing. Old parents aren't able to relate or emotionally understand qhat kids are going through.
here's an example with my own mother,
My brother (12) and i (15) were sitting at a party at my cousins house. We have been waiting for the party to start for 1.5 hours. The party still hadn't began. I asked my mother if we could go to the park downstairs. She looked at us like we were insane. "Why the hell would you want to go to the park?" We complained of being completely bored. She still didn't allow us
She couldn't understand the fact that kids can get bored easily or that kids enjoy moving around and playing. She was 52 years old at that time. Her teenage years were too long far and gone for her to understand what its like to be a child.
Furthermore older parents struggle to keep up with their children due to the physical and emotional demands. Being a parent is hard work and it requires someone who can keep up with the physical and emotional stressors. Not someone who always relies on other people to look after their kid on the weekend so they can catch a break.
Teaching kids how to ride a bike, swim, sports, ride motorcycles is also a big part of childhood. When parents get too old, they lack the energy to do these sorts of things with their kids
By the way, there's no way you will know if your son had a great childhood. Only he can honestly say if he had a good childhood. No son who loves his mother would tell her that he had a lacking childhood. I never told my mother about my lacking childhood. But she would go onto say that i had a decent childhood. Parents will always think they know everything.
@shaysh87 He HAS said he's had a great childhood! And of course a 12 and 15 year old would get bored waiting for a party to start and would want to play in the park! That's just common sense. I LOVE riding motorcycles and my bike and I took a surfing class a few years ago. I hope to go back. Surfing is wonderful. Difficult though.
I did run after the bike that my son was learning on. I helped teach him to swim. I took swim classes myself and wanted him to get formal classes so he'd do his strokes well, also. I loved my formal lessons. I took my son swimming with me from age 2. Horseback riding. Frisbee throwing. I LOVE Frisbee golf and tossing the old disc.
As for not understanding your children because I have no memory of my childhood: that's just bunk. I remember mine quite clearly. Being a parent, a good parent, is being able to recall your childhood and how your parents were with you and to not be exactly like them in the manner YOU didn't care for.
I did this to the best of my ability. And I still talk with my son, throw the frisbee with him. Take drives and walks. Discuss how he's doing and offer insight on the issues he recounts as problems. He's 26, a skateboarder (I've done that too) and a biker.
As I've said and I repeat. You've had a bad experience. I don't think it's because your parents were older. I think it's mostly because of their personalities. I had young parents and they were very restrictive about my behaviors. It wasn't because they forgot about being young. But their young was completely different than MY young, as my son's is too.
All I can do is listen to his descriptions of the differences and commiserate. And if I can, offer an ear and a hug. Problem solve when it's possible.
90 percent of parents DO THE BEST THEY CAN with what they have. There are so many factors that age is only a very narrow one. Good luck with your adolescence..
Its time for you to quit obsessing over exceptions and understand that older parents simply do not have the stamina or endurance to keep up with the role of a parent. This will cause children to have inferior childhoods.
Rare exceptions aren't reliable. so, its time to quit whining. I would never support having kids at an old age as a good thing.
@shaysh87 And you are narrow-minded and inflexible which is sad at your age. Good luck tho! You don't have to agree. You do YOU! There are millions out there who are great parents at all ages. Just because yours weren't, you dump bad parent on ALL older parents. You're not right!
you are self said that you were an exception to the rule. This means you admit the vast majority of older DO NOT have the energy to carry on the role of a parent.
And do you realize what the further consequences of older parenting is?
If you have a child at 45-55 , how are you gonna support your kid after you retire? by the time you retire, your child would still be very young. Who is gonna pay for college? College is expensive. Will you tell your kids that college will not be an option for them when they grow up because mommy / daddy is retired?
Secondly, having children at an advanced age produces inferior offspring. Kids born to older parents tend to be at higher risk of autism, higher risk of mental / health issues throughout their lives, less resilient against hardships, even less intelligent / capable. My brother was born with a speech impediment and couldn't speak full sentences until 7 years old. Now he is 24 years old and is doing fine in life. But I wouldn't ever want any child to have to go through the nightmare of not being able to communicate until 7 years old. Its not a fucking joke.
Thirdly, my parents had me and my brother late in life. I firsthand experienced constantly tired , overly stressed parents who could barely keep up with the stressors of raising children. And guess what? losing energy is a natural part of aging. I can really imagine my childhood being a whole lot better if my parents had me at 30 instead of 37 / 40 years old. I would not recommend any more children to endure the childhood experience that I had.
Just because you didn't age. It does not mean that other people don't age. And its incredibly selfish put more kids at risk of enduring inferior childhoods, just because you wanted to have the luxury of having kids later in life.
I'm not saying that every single kid born to an older parent will have an inferior childhood. But it the fact that you don't seem to care about putting more kids at higher risk of inferior childhoods (being born to older parents) that makes you selfish.
Kids want a parent they can run around with, enjoy life with, do activities with. No kid wants to sit with you at home and watch tv all day because you lack the energy to move. Or shifting your parental responsibilities on a baby sitter or paying your eldest's son's girlfriend to take your son out to the zoo for a day.
@shaysh87 you're not paying attention. What @Screenwriter said was (cut-n-paste quote): "@shaysh87 I didn't SAY I was an exception. I don't know the statistics on older parents/people."
Nobody is using "exception to the rule" here as much as you. You introduced it, pretend as though it's fact (it isn't), and continue to bray it about as though it means something. It doesn't. "Exception ( to the rule)" was used 8 times previous to me responding here where I use it extensively quoting you. It was used 7 times by you, @shaysh87, and once by @Screenwriter, in the aforementioned quote where she states that she DIDN'T say she was an exception.
It appears shaysh87 is the exception to the rule here. The one who had parents who didn't have time and energy for her, which she then concluded (without any kind of scientific reasoning, she just decided) that it was due to age, and that all "old" people (which seems to be people who are 37 or older, but not 31, since that's how old shashy87 is, and her having kids is fine, since she's the exception to her own rules) are screwing up their children's lives. You are the exception, but as you've said 7 times already, that doesn't matter. Your experience is your own, and your interpretation and laying of blame on the age of your parents is provably mistaken. Healthy people have tons of energy in their 30s, 40s, 50s and far beyond.
Your perceptions about older people are very narrow as @Screenwriter pointed out. They don't reflect reality. My own mother had me at 20, but she continued having children into her late 30s. She had 5 children in all, and every single one of them loves their mother and is grateful for what an amazing mother she was. The only thing she did wrong was die young. Or what most people would call young.
I don't expect you to realize you're wrong. It's pretty obvious at this point you don't pay attention to information people are handing you. You quote people as saying the opposite of what they said, which is especially egregious in PRINT where all your lazy butt has to do is scroll up to see what was said. On top of that, you don't add anything new to the conversation, you just keep parroting the same thing over and over. Repetition is not truth. Saying something louder, and more persistently is not truth. You've been given your due, your right, your freedom to do with your own life as you see fit. To continue to insist that this woman, contrary to everything she's told you, is a bad mother, more than rude on so many levels. To insult my mother, the father of my friend, my relatives, and so many other people whose lives you know clearly nothing about, is also beyond ignorant and boorish.
Okay, you have your opinion about old people. It's not changing. We get it. You don't need to repeat yourself an 8th time.
[Nobody is using "exception to the rule" here as much as you. ..."It was used 7 times by you, @shaysh87, and once by @Screenwriter, in the aforementioned quote where she states that she DIDN'T say she was an exception.]
how are you gonna PROVE that people's energy does not decline with age? Declining energy is a natural part of aging that affects the vast majority of us. Go ask a fucking doctor. You're so pathetic.
[It appears shaysh87 is the exception to the rule here. The one who had parents who didn't have time and energy for her, which she then concluded (without any kind of scientific reasoning, she just decided) that it was due to age, and that all "old" people (which seems to be people who are 37 or older, but not 31, since that's how old shashy87 is, and her having kids is fine, since she's the exception to her own rules) are screwing up their children's lives. You are the exception, but as you've said 7 times already, that doesn't matter. Your experience is your own, and your interpretation and laying of blame on the age of your parents is provably mistaken. Healthy people have tons of energy in their 30s, 40s, 50s and far beyond.]
Actually the doctor told my parents that anything above the age of 35 is considered advanced maternal / paternal age. After the age of 35, the quality of reproduction declines not only for the female but also the male. It only gets worse if the parents are older than that.
My boss who had her kid at the age of 36 said that her kid constantly complains about the fact that she is unable to relate to him emotionally / maturity wise. He says that she is no fun to be around because she's wayy too old to understand his childlike sense of humor. Right now she is 55 and her son is in college, she says she is eager for him to finish up so she can start retirement. 37 might seem young to you. But its not young when it comes to raising kids. When people hit 40, this is the age where you can see and feel aging set in. You will see a further decline in energy and ability to bear stress in late 40s. Then it drops again when you hit your early 50s. Now this is the age where most people are looking towards retirement.
there's no way that you can prove that people still have tons of energy in their 40s-50s. Actually when most people hit their early 50s, that is the age where they are eager to start retirement. Vast majority of them are not interested in starting over new careers or starting a family.
[[I don't expect you to realize you're wrong. It's pretty obvious at this point you don't pay attention to information people are handing you.]
HOW AM I WRONG? YOU EXPLAIN TO ME HOW I AM WRONG.
AM I WRONG FOR SAYING DECLINE IN ENERGY IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN AS PEOLPE AGE?
AM I WRONG FOR SAYNG THAT OLD PARENTS PRODUCE DEFECTIVE OFFSPRING? My own brother was born to an old mother and father at 40. He had a speech impediment and couldn't speak full sentences until he was 7 years old. I have a coworker who says his brother had a kid at 45 and one of his son's turned out autistic. My coworker who has been plagued with health issues all throughout her life had a father who had her at the age of 48.
HOW AM I WRONG FOR SAYING THAT YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO SUPPORT YOUR KIDS AFTER YOU'RE RETIRED?
HOW AM I WRONG FOR SAYING YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO PAY FOR YOUR CHILDREN'S HIGHER EDUCATION AFTER RETIREMENT?
[To insult my mother, the father of my friend, my relatives, and so many other people whose lives you know clearly nothing about, is also beyond ignorant and boorish.]
how about your fucking kids that you wouldn't care about? how about the fact that you refuse to care about the wellbeing of your child. you refuse to care about supporting your kids after you retire. you refuse to care about giving your kids a bright future through a higher education. you even refuse to care about the quality of a kid's childhood.
Ok. so saying that people have a decline in energy is an insult to you? MAYBE IT IS AN INSULT. BUT ITS THE TRUTH.
is telling you that old parents produce defective, less healthy offspring an insult to you? MAYBE IT IS AN INSULT. BUT ITS THE TRUTH.
There have been absolutely no logical sense or facts to any of your desperate patheitc rants about how old parents should still be able to have kids. All I see is a very selfish person who only cares about his needs whiel negating everyone else's.
I'm repeating the same thing over and over again because you are ignoring my message. You're in denial about everything I'm saying.
You have absolutely evidence that people's energy does not decline with age. And even if your energy does decline with age, you will not care because you're a selfish person. You have no consideration for the fact that you are putting your offspring at an increased risk. You have no consideration for the fact that your kids might not be well equipped for a bright future due to a lack of higher education. You do not care about the fact that kids born to old, lethargic parents tend to have shorter, inferior childhoods.
These are facts that you can't just deny because you don't like the sound of it. I will stand by these realities. I'm not gonna bow down to your pathetic desperate rants.
By the way, I am 26, not 31. I'm planning on having kids at 31-35. I'm not planning on having kids at an advanced age. Its not worth the risks and I want to be able to support my kids through college and be finished on time to retire.
@shaysh87 I think it's you that are ranting. I'm not arguing that people's energy doesn't decline with age. It does. But some of it is biological makeup, some personality, planning and taking care of oneself. Of COURSE having children willy nilly is selfish. But it's not only selfish at only ONE point in life. If you have them too young you deprive them in different ways.
I'm not in denial about any of what you say. But all older parents are not created equal. Some are better and do it well with all the considerations you're citing. .
And I've NEVER SAID older parents SHOULD have children. I've said some older parents are well positioned to have them and their kids will turn out fine.
There are thoughtless older parents who never fathomed what it would be like to have a toddler when they were 65, or that they wouldn't be alive when the kid graduated high school. But we're talking extremes..
And most couples where this happens have an older man by 20 years and a younger woman. And here's the thing. Parents can NEVER do everything. There is nothing wrong with setting your kids up in play groups with younger parents and older parents. If you have shortcomings, you find out how to overcome them.
you do the best parenting you can, realizing those shortcomings. Maybe your parents didn't, maybe some others don't. But it happens with younger parents, middle aged parents and elder parents. Age is not the only deficit.
A sensible parent plans for their children's educations. Minimizes risks. Exposes their kids to art, music, travel, sports, et al. A good parent plans for a future where they might or might not be around. My dad had an older parent who died at the age of 80 when dad was 19. He loved his dad and had nothing but kind words for him.
I guess you're angry about older parents due to your suffering and think all older parents shortchange their kids. that's not the case. One day you might realize this. Good luck.
You're accusing me of ranting? what about you? did you not just go on a crazy emotionally charged illogical rant about how its a good thing for all old parents to have children? or about how its vastly common for people to not age as they get older?
I am fighting on behalf of all the innocent children that you are too selfish to pay any mind to. A children's welfare is my top priority, not the interests of very selfish people decide to delay parenting until the last minute at the expense of their children.
Honestly I think you're just making up lies to boost up your argument.
why don't you just admit that A child's wellbeing is not any of your concerns?
you can admit that you don't care about your children's wellbeing. And we can finish this argument.
but im not gonna let you claim that your children's wellbeing is your top priority but yet you still think its a good idea to have a child with a senior citizen, full well knowing the multitude of consequences for the child.
I'm not gonna back down because you're in denial or you screamed at me with your illogical rants. I stand my ground based on facts and what is morally right.
"did you not just go on a crazy emotionally charged rant about how its a good thing for all old parents to have children? or about how its vastly common for people to not age as they get older?"
No. I did NOT say it was a good thing for ALL older parents to have children. It's not a good thing for all PEOPLE to have children. I never said ANYTHING about people not aging as they get older. Everyone ages.
I said was people age DIFFERENTLY. It has to do with physical, mental and emotional makeup. Some people age well. Some do not. Some do well for their children, no matter what age they are. Some don't.
"I am fighting on behalf of all the children that you are too selfish to pay any mind to. A child's welfare is my top priority, not the interests of selfish people who decide to delay parenting until the last minute at the expense of their children."
It isn't selfish to wait until you are emotionally and financially ready to have a child and you've found a partner.
There is no perfect time to have a child! There are combinations of age, financial status, job status, emotional and physical stability, but no perfect combination.
"why don't you just admit that A child's wellbeing is not any of your concern? admit that you don't care about your children's wellbeing."
There is little more important than my son's wellbeing and I always have mine in mind and he's 27. Parents never stop helping their children. One reason I take care of myself is because I know my son needs my help.
Adult children need their parents as consultants. As long as your kids work toward solid goals, helping them is a priority. My parents did the same.
Being older can be a handicap. You work around it. Kids are resilient and when loved and cared for, they do well. Love and kindness help children thrive. That's the bottom line.
I[ said was people age DIFFERENTLY. It has to do with physical, mental and emotional makeup. Some people age well. Some do not. Some do well for their children, no matter what age they are. Some don't.]
VAST MAJORITY of people age similarly. And this is the most TROUBLING PART. Do you think a kid losing a college opportunity is something that is a joke to you? Do you think a kid with an old parent that he cannot do things with is a fun childhood? I had an inferior childhood, you won't understand how deep the consequences are until you experience it yourself.
When you have a kid at an old age. There is a HIGH LIKELIHOOD of these things happening. Not a low likehood
Nobody cares if you age a bit more slowly if you're gonna be retired before your kid grows up.
If you're 60 and you have the energy of a 50 yr old, you still won't be able to handle the stress of a full time job working 8 hour days then having to come home to do another 6 hours of housework, cooking and child teaching. Your kid is 12 years old and you're 63. Your job performance is struggling due to your age. Your boss wants you to retire. How are you gonna send these kids to college? there's a good chance college isn't even an option unless you're.
[It isn't selfish to wait until you are emotionally and financially ready to have a child and you've found a partner.]
That is so ironic thay you would mention that not being financially ready is a problem but YET not being able to afford to send your 3 kids to college since you are retired is NOT ANY OF YOUR PROBLEMS.
Not being financially ready your problem but putting kids at an extrmely high risk of health problems, speech delays, autism is not your problem?
You said not being emotionally ready for kids is a problem to you, but a 55 yr old unable to juggle the stress and workload of parenting is not any of your concerns? If you're too old to handle the stress of parenting, you are not emotionally fit to be a parent. I have dealt with overly stressed parents my whole life. Parents constantly complaining that theyre already old yet their kids are still not grown
I think i have done a pretty good job that a childs welfare is not any of your priorities
I am 26. And im having my kids at 31 to 35. Even though it would clearly pose an obstacle to ny career ambitions. Im not gonna put my precious children at risk for health problems just for my own selfish benefit
Being in denial of facts , doesn't make it false. you're living proof that people dont mature with age. Arguing over a couple of facts like a teenager throwing a tantrum cuz his mother didn't give him what he wanted
Dating and relationships have been around as long as we've had societies, and I feel like this is always a topic, for most of them, mainly the super religious ones lol. In my personal opinion I think people should date however they feel, as long as it's of legal age. So a 30 year old should be able to date a 20 year old, or a 50 year old. When I was 32 I dated a 22 year old and when I was 34 I dated a 52 year old.
There are distinct differences between those 2 age differences. One loves going to clubs and hanging out with giant globs of people, while the other works in the public eye as a belly dancer, but hates crowds, has no plans for children, and loves being outdoors, but they were both lovely enough to have me fall in love with them. There was no manipulation from me or them. the relationships were normal. So I don't think it's an issue.
I think people MAKE it an issue more than anything. Usually an overbearing family or environment can breed ideas like this, same happened with interacial couples many years ago. It was MADE to be taboo when it actually wasn't.
I will say this about societies as well. Men are taught from a very young age that the young damsel in distress is always better than the old witch in the hut in the swamp. It's pushed into our brains just as women are taught that the older, successful, prince in his castle looking to settle down, is the golden standard for them. Both of these scenarios can be seen in media, social media, video games, etc. It's like it's woven into the fabric of society, especially American society, but that's all just my opinion. It doesn't mean much on this crazy blue marble.
It could be corrected but not by age dating. It appears this way since age is easily quantifiable. The main issue is desirability.
In the past the most desired man got a wife and then the second most desired man became the most desired. This process continued and it all equalled out.
Men decided to play this game because marriage had benefits and women were marriagable. Today marriage has no benefits and women are generally not marriagable.
So you have guys banging everyone they can and never settling down. Mens sexual value lasts a long time so you have guys who were hot young and hot old just banging away. Its not the age its just that they haven't married. And they haven't married because its a poor option for a desirable man to choose.
Women on the other hand prefer men who should have been their husbands but are still single. Why get with pimply 20 year old when you can get a more experienced and financially secure 30 year old? Well if they marry a dude who is 20 he will eventually become 30. But why wait when they can have what they want now?
If I have to date, I’ll date someone same age or 10 years older than me max. Although, I do get hit on by males as young as 18 irl. It’s just harmless flirting but nothing serious… I don’t want to date males younger than me (maybe 5 years is enough, no younger than that). I’d still want to look like his partner, not his mom or aunt 😂. Or I don’t want to date someone too old, I’d be mistaken as their daughter or worse granddaughter. No thanks
By the time I was 12 I'd lived in 7 countries. By the time I was 18, I'd graduated with an honours bachelors. By the time I was 32 I had self-taught myself 2d/3d graphics, animation, etc., opened two online businesses, and as not the sort to sit on my butt had one managerial job on the side and one at-home distance adminsitative job.
Age is not the issue. It is interests, compatibility. I am 56 but I can run circles, and do work circles around teens. But energy levels can be an issue. As well as "tradition" vs "new age" morality. Things like this can be in any age. I knew a boy who loved all the old songs and when talking to him he was an "old fashion hearted" person. My x was 9 years younger than me. I think the issue is significant when people have not matured yet to around 25 when the brain fully develops. Before then it adds more drama. If you can handle it. Its your party.
I just don’t understand dating anyone who is more than 7 years older than me. I want a family someday so I’m not looking to just “have fun” or mess around. I’m a rather serious person so I like to think things through logically. A girl dating a guy 30 years older than her… is simply not logical. Well, lemme correct myself. “Is not logical” if she intends to have a family someday. If that girl doesn’t want a family and just wants to be with someone… I guess just do whatever you want. I won’t approve of a relationship like that. But it’s not my business so I don’t care
You can't grow old with someone who is already old. Eventually you will just find yourself married to a senior citizen. Its been proven through studies that spouses who marry much older spouses end up seeing larger declines in marital satisfaction compared to folks who married someone closer to their age.
Someone that you could be happy with at 25 and they are at 40. It doesn't mean you will still be happy with them when you're 45 and theyre 60. Things change and may get rough
Many idiots only care about their " passionate feelings" for right now then rude awakening hits them 15 years later when they realize they could have been happier being married to someone closer to their own age. It has happened and I've seen many of them regret their decision and advise me not to marry too much older.
Huge mistake each and everyone needs to date their own age group. One of my Best friends got married at 18 she was with a creep how was 26 years old. Now my friend she is 30 years old , GUESS WHAT HE LEFT HER FOR A 21 YEAR OLD! He groomed her and took advantage of her that she was so young. He control her didn't even allowed her to work , didn't allowed her to dye her hair. The guy is a creep now no dude wants her. He ruin her life completely he groomed her. It kinda reminds me about Priscilla Presley relationship with Elvis. No huge mistake for get it don't date men no more then two year age gap.
I mean girls generally want a guy whose established life, income, and general confidence are that of a man 10 years older. But then they want them to be her age.
At 30, I'm just now at the point girls wanted me to be in their 20s.
So age differences make sense. If you want all that from a guy, you'll do much better looking at older guys.
For older women, I've found that they seem to have their priorities straight. They'll like you for things like being relatable and good natured, and don't need you to be "better than them" at everything. So that's an advantage to dating older. Though chances are her libido is about to take a nosedive and you'll be the asshole because SHE changed.
So there's cost/benefit to every age and age difference. I don't know why people get hung up on a number rather than actual relationship material.
I've never been understood "I met the person of my dreams... too bad they are 4 years older than me."
Well it really depends on what you want. With female demands today they need to start dating guys 20 older since the guy needs to had time to be a millionare while the guy wants a young attractive female. So best combination for both would be young female, old man. For dating your own age you need to beable to accept an average person as a partner. And people will always true to get the best they can get. Old women have very little to add to a guys life. They are past their fertile time, they are very likely to have kids in tow. And we have machines that do most household tasks. So the guy is happier single than with an old woman demanding stuff from him. There is a reason why most older men check out from dating.
As long as you aren't dating underage and are in it for the right reasons date who ever you feel like dating. It is not another persons job to judge someone for dating someone older or younger then themselves.
I think the same of it is, is that women at a certain age loose the ability to have children. Does not mean there is anything wrong with them and it is not too late for them either.
But men can have children even in old age. So it is not uncommon for younger women to still find men attractive even well into old age. While really women over 40 many men wanting a family would not be with.
Though men do date older sometimes decades older and sometimes women date younger.
In my family men have always married younger women. In part this probably going back several generations we were a military family and you needed the colonels permission to marry. The rationale I think was that a married man has concerns outside of the military for his family.
Anyway I have busted all family prior records and am older than my wife's father.
I think it is a good thing for the girl because quite a lot of girls like an older man. If my wife didn't have a thing for older men the we would never have happened as she made the running. As an older and wiser man I enjoy the femininity of a woman. When I was a young man I simply wanted to get my cock in to be honest and didn't really enjoy all of what a woman has to offer a man. And of course I am more experience in sex and experienced emotionally.
My wife says she has learnt a lot from me and it is pleasing that I have been able to give her that.
@Alwayreckles93 Thank you for giving me the compliment of being a disgrace. You made my day.
Some girls just prefer older guys is all it is. And NO a younger woman doesn't necessarily want your cash. They can, but you quickly work that out. With wife it was exactly fair in paying right from the start. If there hadn't been that respect... then I would have dropped her.
It wasn't the money. Quite simply one person's dollar is not the same as another person's dollar. What counts is after all basic bills and living expenses are paid how much is left? For one person that could be say $100/week but for another person $1000/week. A discretionary spending $ for the first person is about $10 of the second person.
So I am not hung up on money but am insistent on the respect aspect.
And NO there should not be any social engineering on who gets off with whom. While technically you should be able to pair up a random woman and a random man and they should like each other, IT JUST DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT. There have been y women I would have been happy with and there have been x woman that would have been happy with me.
The intersection between x and y is for most people quite small.
So don't get in peoples road with opinions on who they should or shouldn't be with.
Well! I believe if i see a case that a beautiful girl married to an onld man than one thing is clear that it is not love... i mean the girl is his daughter's age... and you can see that the old guy is always a wealthy man... what a coincidence... lol... it's clear that this girl wants his money she just wants his money after he die she can rule the catsle as she wants you know what i mean and after the old guy die see how this girl rule... And those who are against to my opinion just think maturely maybe your body is matured but your mind isn't.. or maybe you're one of them guys or girls who believe THis iS TRue LoVe...😂
The issues with age gaps come into play when there are significant maturity differences between two people due to their difference in age which can lead to an unhealthy relationship where the younger partner is being used or taken advantage of due to their vulnerability.
Monica Hernandez has a really good video explaining this and shares her experience with this.
I meant to press date how you want hit the wrong botton lol oh well I think people should days who they when they become of age no one under age that I wouldn't do ever but I've dated the olderes was 15 years older than me so I don't really think it matters
People should date their own age. I’m 28 so I should be dating between the ages of 25-27.
Now I have a crush on a woman that is 36 children with four kids she is beautiful she is right lane also not my generation. Or barely my generation considering that one two years into the millennial generation. The woman made her very likely progressively left church I disagree with both points so I’m fucked what does that tell you I’m Switzerland in a modern world
My husband is almost 8 years older than me. I met him when I was 25 and he was 33. Now it's no big deal. I'm almost 37 and he's 45. Age makes a difference to an extent b/c at that time I know I was still a bit immature and lost.
Women will always go for older men because that's where the money at You will never see a 20 year old dude going for 30 year old woman but you will see a 20 year old girl going for 30 year old man
I personally like dating my age for now but once I hit 30 Im going back to dating 20 year old chicks that's where the beauty is at.
If people dated their own age, this would be disadvantageous for men who derive their peak sexual value much later in life than women. There is a reason why an age of consent exists and anyone above it is fair game.
This is a non-issue. In a free society, consenting adults have the right to choose who they date. Someone could be exactly the same age as you or close to your age and be just as problematic for you. It's up to everyone to do their due diligence.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
People are going to like what they like. It's a bit nonsensical to think that people suddenly find something attractive just because they've seen it on tv. World doesn't work like that. If you believe this, then you'll also believe the idiotic line that violent video games make people violent. They don't. And this isn't an issue either.
And that could be becuase there are less opportunities and training for women to get rich. Like only 4 our of the top 100 ceos are women. Just saying socially, its something to strive for.
But if that is okay with the older man, what's the problem? I have a wealthy friend who is 82-years-old and he is in love with a 50-year-old woman. It's obvious she is a gold digger but he realizes the only way he is able to spend time with her is if he spends money on her. After 3-years of dating, he told her he is tired of spending all that money on her and would like to go out with her without money being the center of attention. She dumped him.
It's the choice of an individual to choose who will be the right person to date. One person who is elder than me can make me feel that I'm the worst human being in the world. Another person who is elder than me can make me feel that there's so much goodness in me and can help in stimulating happiness that touches my soul. It's all the matter of who is contributing to the inner wellness of a person which makes a person feel better in soul, heart and body.
@Alwayreckles93 this seems ridiculous. People should date a good match regardless of age. I've experienced both sides of that. Meet a girl out have fun. Go on a date or two. Have sex. Everythings awesome then finally age question comes up and the girl started crying hysterically saying im everything she ever wanted and im more than 5 years older than her and thats just too much. Ok fine. I've been in the opposite where basically the same situation comes up and the girl finds out im more than 10 years older and she says "guess my age limit was stupid maybe should have been dating much older men from the beginning" usually its more the second than the first. But either way, its pretty dumb to be very strict about age. With the exception of when there will be fertility issues.
@bamesjond0069 Why aren't you with a beautiful mature 30 year old. You know the 30 year will cook for you fresh home cooked meals , Clean the whole house more mature. why? Well with the younger girl you would only eat McDonald's and live in a pigsty! Because Younger woman don't know how to cook or clean much less own a house. With the 30 year old she would own a house make huge amount of income and you will not have to worry about the 30 year old being a gold digger.
@bamesjond0069 GROW UP SNAP OUT OF IT!!! WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD !!! I am 29 years old but people always tell me I look 20. I even looked way way better then that young girlfriend of yours.
As long as both people are adults it doesn’t matter. Just no pedophile stuff if you were both teens and one turns 18 before. Gotta be careful especially in today’s world
You tend to see what the relationship is about about when someone in their mid 20s-40s are dating a 18-21 year old. People should date their own age or close to it. I date from 25-35. It's a lot more peaceful that way
People should date their own age. Women who date older men usually have daddy issues or they are just gold diggers. Men who date much younger women are just perverts.
To a degree, yes. I say if there like up to 5 years older/younger than you, then its fine. Its when you start getting to the large age gaps then it becomes concerning.
Truthfully you'd want someone the same age give or take 5 years either side. As to live a long life together. If you start dating people 10-20 years one of you probably going to die and you'll live a lonely life.
Depends who and how much of a gap. I can't even tell how old women are, they all wear makeup. But id go to like 10 years younger , to around my age. If it works or works. But if it's obviously just for money, that's sad. Or huge age gaps.
Holly crap Seriously 😳 The girl in the picture DOES NOT LOOK 45 AT ALL. You looked like you're in you're mind 20's 28-29 . No kidding! I really tough you lied about you're age. What do you do to stay young?
Only if you are in highschool. The ideal relationship is actually when the guy is 10-15 years older than the woman. Assuming that everyone is an adult of course. On average women's brains are fully developed by 22 and men's by 30.
It's ok to have date your own age person or older/younger than you just a thing is he/she loveinge truly not for some other reason. Some time it's problematic but ya you can hendel it
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