Are these clear signs that she doesn't want to marry me?

[Anonymous]

So my girlfriend is 28 and she is the woman of my dreams. I love her so much and she is the woman I wanna spend the rest of my life with. So I've been thinking about marrying her because I've dated her for some time and I made my decision from that time. So I started dating her when she was in college (Her 3rd year) I'm 2 years older than her. When we started dating, I knew she was the one. But I didn't want to propose and distract her because she had just graduated and officially started a life. So for the past couple of years, I've been bringing marriage up in a lot of our topics. Like we went on a date this one time and then it was her first time sleeping over by me and we were in bed laying and cuddling and I asked "baby how do you feel about marriage?" and she said that she believed in it and that it is a beautiful thing but a huge commitment. So after she said that, I tried to alter the question because that was not exactly what I meant but then I asked her If she wanted a big wedding or a small intimate wedding and she changed the subject. About a year after that I asked her about it again and she looked uncomfortable when we were speaking about it. It's like she has a fear of marriage. I do fear, however, that she doesn't want to marry me. The thing is, I want to talk to her about it and express our feelings but I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable in any way. But I really want her to be my wife and to start a family with her. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

Honestly, don’t ask your girlfriend to marry you if don’t already know what the answer is going to be. The big questions in life shouldn’t be something you surprise somebody with and ask them to decide on in the moment. If you’re unsure, then don’t propose. Instead, have a conversation with your girlfriend about marriage to see where her head is really at without you trying to analyze and assess on your own. Something like “hey, I’d like to talk about our future as a couple a bit. Do you envision us getting married someday? What’s your timeline for that like?”. Be sure to communicate your own thoughts and desires as well. By having that talk, you two can compare notes and see if you want the same things long-term. If you do, then you can propose at the appropriate time with a lot more confidence. There will still be that surprise factor in proposing, because she won’t know when it’s happening and you can plan it your own special way. The thing is, if she’s not the sort of person to want marriage, but you are, then that is something you need to know so you can decide if there’s true longevity in your relationship. Sure you love and only want her, but it would literally mean depriving yourself of an important experience that even if it’s not important to her, it is to you. Kind of like if you want kids and she doesn’t, why rob yourself of fatherhood, you know?

[Asker]

Wow, thank you! I needed this

[Whatever2929292]

I feel like maybe she just isn't ready yet but she needs to communicate this to you and not just change the subject. I think maybe it made her uncomfortable it does not mean the she doesn't love you or anything like that.

Let me say this. If you propose to her. Please don't do it in public. You can try for that and see what she says. But She might say no pretty fast or something else and don't do that in public unless you're just sure that she is going to say yes which...

I think that you need to give it some time maybe to just bring it up to her and see ask her that if you aren't really ready for that then you understand but you need to know this stuff and you need to communicate.

You could also wait and see if eventually she brings it up.

I don't know the reasons in her mind on why she might not be ready yet or if she isn't ready at all. I would say that you need to communicate with each other and if she can't do that then this might be a problem

[Guy13]

She’s already uncomfortable. She may not see you as marriage material. Don’t sound like she knows much…dated much?