Relationship help?

[MrPickles13]

Girls, if you could give advice to a guy with no dating experience or sex based experience. What advice, knowledge or tips would you suggest/ say?

Like what things do you wish guys know and do during intimacy, dating and things like that?

I could really use the help tbh.

Updates

+1 y

Also what do guys do that you dislike or hate with these things like sex and dating?

[Blackcupcake]

don’t play games… no “sending signals” or ignoring texts for certain amount of time “to not seem desperate”, playing hot and cold etc.
those are a MAJOR turn off, at least for me personally. a man who lets me know when he is busy but otherwise replies to me quick, even within 2 seconds is one I would appreciate because he is showing me that he is prioritising me.


don’t be passive. don’t always wait for her to initiate things… you do your part. if you want to text double text her because she hasn’t replied to your last text in a minute then do that. if you want to cuddle or kiss or sex or eat something or ANYTHING… then do that, don’t always wait for her to take the first step. because once you initiate things it shows the girl that you’re interested, that you care and that you do want and like her.


do not assume things. I don’t have a solid example on this sadly, and it is difficult to explain, but there are certain things that people in general, assume about someone without even asking. for example, a girl could be having a really difficult day, and instead of asking you take distance because you assume it’s her period or whatever and that freaks out many dudes sadly.


don’t be afraid to be a simp for your girl!!! I literally don’t understand how people see that word as an insult, a man who would do anything for me (within reason ofc) and always treats me good is a dream, and I would accept no less (unless he of course is just a weirdo who is like that to all girls around because he’s desperate or whatever)




don’t be afraid to be weird or clownish! I’m sure many girls would appreciate it for the laughs especially if she’s having a bad day… I love me a man who can make me laugh until my belly hurts.








that’s all I can think of for now… I’ll let you know if I remember any more hahaha

[MrPickles13]

First of all thank you for responding. I really appreciate it.

I agree with the signals I always reply quickly to anyone unless I can't, in which case I'll apologies and say why if I couldn't let them know before.
That to me seems fair and nice it shows you really like talking to them as well.

I don't think I'd ever be able to just initiate something I would honestly be likely to ask if they would want to cuddle or something early on at least. Do you think that's an issue?

That makes sense as much as I do find it a bit awkward it is a natural thing. But i would want to see what's wrong how I could help. Even if it is that is there anything I could do to help her.

Yeah I disagree with the whole simping thing. I believe in the whole show you care and all that stuff. Be there as much as you can and all that stuff.

I think being able to laugh and have fun is an important part of relationships.

[LilyoftheLake]

The key to dating for men, I think, is found in finding the balance between being nice and assertive. Only girls with low self-esteem will date a brute, but few girls are attracted to simps. Engage in interesting conversation. Smile a lot. Make her feel valued, independent of what YOU are getting out of it.

[MrPickles13]

Thank you for taking the time to add an opinion.

That's not ideal for me then. I'm someone who is overly assertive I'm kinda more if the it being a partnershio ideal to relationships

The other parts I think are easier for me it's just meeting simien. I would like to make sure she felt valued and if I was with siminr I cared about smiling would be so easy. I find little to smile about atm.

[MrPickles13]

Hope you don't mind my asking but to you what makes a guy a simp?

[LilyoftheLake]

Weakness. Not just like physically, but not standing on his own two feet. The way I heard it best described was in Enchanted: "How can I love a man who can't even love himself?"
If he's not a fully respectable individual, I'm not sure I can love him. He can't rely on my opinion of him in order to function.

[MrPickles13]

Okay that makes sense. Like being able to support himself and like himself bit just relying off of you to see the good in him.

I have to admit I do have a few issues with that at times. Mostly I do like myself tho.

[LilyoftheLake]

That's a good sign. Sometimes people say that being nice to women is simping, which I obviously disagree with. Chivalry is defined as "meek in hall and strong in battle."

[MrPickles13]

Okay that makes sense. I don't get the whole simping thing tbh. I don't see anything wrong with showing someone you care about them and that.

How long would you expect to wait before sort of movinf to being intimate witha. Partner? I'd you'd prefer you don't need to answer.

[LilyoftheLake]

No, that's okay. Thanks for being respectful though.

Honestly? It depends on the guy. With my ex-fiancee, it took eight months before I agreed to sleep with him. But I've been known to initiate in the first few hours of meeting a guy.

[MrPickles13]

It's important to be respectful I think. I always worry if I may say the wrong thing at times.

Cause for me it would honestly be a few months before I think I could do anything sexual. And it would take having to talk about stuff like that first. As I've never done anything and have anxiety issues.

Do you think it would be bad if a guy didn't early on initiat a spontaneous first kiss but asked if they could kiss you?

[LilyoftheLake]

I think that's just fine and kind of sweet.

[MrPickles13]

That's good. I am more of a romantic and simeonr to take things slow. I aren't even sure if a first kiss is okay on a first date tbh.

Is there anything important that guys should know about sex and kissing and stuff like that they often don't know/do?

[LilyoftheLake]

I will say, I've been the first kiss for three different guys. They tend to make two mistakes right off: Too rough, and way too much tongue. Stick to gentle lip touches until she takes it further, or until you are confident.

I've never taken a man's virginity, so I can't say I know much about what mistakes they make most in sex. My biggest turn off is when they do dirty talk. The swearing and cringy compliments don't do you any favors.

[MrPickles13]

Yeah I would always sort of take it slow with kissing and with sex. I don't think I could do dirty talk tbh.

I have read a lot of stuff online and sites like this to try and get a better understanding of sex. And for me it would be about ensuring she enjoyed it. I just worry about that sort of stuff I guess.

[LilyoftheLake]

You seem like a good guy. Unless she's a real, well, b****, you can be assured that she'll probably appreciate it. Providing, of course, she is at least minimally attracted to you

[MrPickles13]

I do think at times I am or like to think I am. I have several ideas for dates and stuff that I think would be nice and that stuff for if I find someone. I'd actually like to learn a bit about massaging for if I get a partner. Being able to treat her to a nice evening at times or even after a stressful day.

Do you think it's odd that one thing im not interested in is the idea of recieving oral sex? I still find it hard to believe people do that to guys.

[LilyoftheLake]

I've never understood the huge fuss about it, frankly. It's okay, I guess, but oral sex is NOT my favorite.
As for it being hard to believe, it really isn't that bad. I feel worse for people who have to deal with my fish taco lol

[MrPickles13]

Hmm I don't know I'm actually pretty interested in performing it on a partner. It just seems sort of not oleasent for her to do the same. Cause well hygiene and the stuff isn't good to have I would say.

[LilyoftheLake]

Lol let's just admit we think the other sex is sexier and leave it at that

[MrPickles13]

Yeah probably for the best. Thank you for answering my extra questions and that it's been really helpful. I appreciate it a lot.

If there is anything you want to ask or anything I can help with please let me know.