Why si he saying I am disrepctful?

[Koeken89]

My boyfriend said i wanst raised right and have no manners, i have always been neat and nice to people. He said his friends are better than me, his friebd ar all thugs and my boyfriend never finished hs and smokes weed and no diploma and i never judged him and he says me xollege educated girl with no criminal record calls me disrespectful?

[Graci_e]

He’s projecting because he’s an asshole. Or possibly trying to manipulate you and make you feel less than, to set you up for abuse.

Be very, very careful. Look up the signs of abuse and keep a watchful eye out for them. This is a major red flag and I advise that you be suoet careful and cautious.

If his friends aren’t good people, he smokes weed, never finished high school and has no diploma - why are you with him? He sounds like a bum and you sound like you can do way better. Set higher standards for yourself.

If it was me, I would 100% break up with him because he’s a walking, talking, breathing red flag and I wouldn’t put myself in a potentially dangerous situation like that. Be careful.

[Koeken89]

what do u mean careful? I have never even in anyway hurt people. He says i am disrespectful... guy didn't have had any motivation to show up to finish his hs

[Theabcking]

@Koeken89 Lol he's using cynical manipulation and gaslighting to make you his bitch. And you are navie enough to fall for it. He's out smarting you despite your college degree. You're going to be taking care of him, giving him a free house to stay in and paying for his weed for him and weed for his friends. That's why I don't talk to people that smoke.

[Theabcking]

@Koeken89 I already know whats going to happen next. You're going to confront and tell him you're leaving. And as soon as you think the end is near He's going to say some bullshit "Imma try and be a better person and this strokes your ego, and I'm really cynically manipulating you, by the way can I get some of money, babe?" And you're going to eat it up and stay with him.

[Koeken89]

@Theabcking he has a jon as a mailman

[Graci_e]

1/2 I never said you have hurt people. I’m saying HE will very likely hurt you. So be careful that he doesn’t hurt you.

I can’t make you leave him or convince you that he’s a red flag. But I can advise you to really rethink your relationship. Please don’t be so naive, I hate to say it, but you’ll regret it and very likely pay for it some day.

What you pay depends on what his motives are. At best, he’ll use you; at worst he’ll abuse you and you’ll potentially die in the process. I’m not trying to scare you, just trying to warn you. This is severe and you need to watch out for your own well being.

You need to look out for yourself. Please don’t fall for his manipulation. Don’t fall into his trap.

These are the symptoms of abuse:

Pushing for quick involvement: Comes on strong, claiming, “I’ve never felt loved like this by anyone.”
Jealousy: Excessively possessive; calls constantly or visits unexpectedly; prevents you from going to work because “you might meet someone.”
Controlling Behavior: Interrogates you intensely (especially if you’re late) about whom you talked to and where you were; keeps all the money; insists you ask permission to do anything.
Unrealistic expectations: Expects you to be the perfect mate and meet his or her every need.
Isolation: Tries to cut you off from family and friends; accuses people who support you of “causing trouble.”.

[Graci_e]

2/2 Blaming others for problems or mistakes: It’s always someone else’s fault when anything goes wrong.
Making others responsible for his or her feelings: The abuser says, “You make me angry,” instead of “I am angry,” or says, “You’re hurting me by not doing what I tell you.”
Hypersensitivity: Is easily insulted, claiming hurt feelings when he or she is really mad.
Cruelty to animals or children: Kills or punishes animals brutally. Also, may expect children to do things that are far beyond their ability (whips a 3-year-old for wetting a diaper) or may tease them until they cry.
Verbal abuse: Constantly criticizes or says blatantly cruel, hurtful things, degrades, curses,
Rigid roles: Expects you to serve, obey and remain at home.
Sudden mood swings: Switches from sweet to violent in minutes.
Past battering: Admits to hitting a mate in the past, but says the person “made” him (or her) do it.
Threats of violence: Says things like, “I’ll break your neck,” or “I’ll kill you,” and then dismisses them with, “I didn’t really mean it.”

Don’t ignore or brush off these signs. There are many more symptoms and cycles of this, and some may be unique to your situation

[Koeken89]

He blamss me for everything he even, hit me onxe and then i wanted to leave he begged me to stay... he also has picturs of me on his phone

[Theabcking]

@Koeken89 That's what people that smoke weed do. They pretend they care about you and keep abusing for entertainment. He's a bully and a jerk. You need to leave. He's going to keep manipulating you, abusing you and gaslighting you so you keep doubting your own judgement. People that smoke are miserable pieces of shit most the time. They pretend they care.

You're either going to leave now or it's going tonbe the same thing I am telling you right now it won't change.

[Graci_e]

Hitting you is undeniably abuse. It’s very typical of abusers to apologise and promise to never do it again. It’s a well known tactic abusers use and it turns into a cycle. He is NOT sorry and he WILL hit you again.

You don’t deserve to be treated that way. My father was abusive and my mum was married to him for 10 years. His abuse only got worse and worse with time, and he too always promised he’d never do it again. I have lumps, dents and scars all over my head from his beatings (lucky my hair covers it). He smashed a glass photos frame over my head when I was 6 years old, I lost so much blood and my father didn’t let my mum call the ambulance.

I understand that it’s hard to wrap your head around and I understand that it’s difficult to see past their manipulation. But it’s only going to get so much worse so run while you can. This isn’t normal behaviour in the slightest. It’s NOT normal, healthy or safe. You’re well being matters so please protect yourself.

Is there a trusted person you can confide in? I recommend that you get a therapist to talk through your situation with. That’s what my mum did.

There also may be domestic abuse hotlines in your country that you can call and speak to about this situation. They can give you advice and resources, or just be there to listen.

Please understand you deserve better. This is an incredibly dangerous situation for you to be in. So many women, men and children are killed because of domestic violence. So many women die every day at the hands of their boyfriends/husbands. I can’t stress enough how serious this is and how unsafe you are. I don’t mean this to scare you, I just want to stress the importance of what I’ve said to you so far.

[Koeken89]

He jsut slappwd me

[Graci_e]

It’s still hitting you. A slap is still a hit. It’s still abuse.
It’ll start as a slap and next time it will be a punch.

[Theabcking]

And... he's obviously a denerate. Enjoy your marriage with him.

[spartan55]

Great choice you made for a boyfriend.

[slatyb]

What are you getting out of this relationship?

[RuthlessAggression]

And yet you stay with him

[Anonymous]

Time to dump that chump.