As a conservative, Christian white American male, why have I always been single? Is it because I need to make serious effort? I don’t have patience?

Question

1) I can’t move to another state just yet.

2) Most women are just looking for casual flings in my area, and they don’t want anything serious or committed.

3) I’ve tried using church as an outlet, but there just weren’t enough people in my age bracket.

4) I can’t bring myself to hook up.

I just feel as though I’m out of options.

I was just wondering if there were an easy way to find someone I’m compatible with. Or if it would take some serious effort of meeting several different women overtime.

Either way I just feel as though I don’t have the energy to be pursuing multiple women if that’s what its gonna take.

I just want everything to fall into place naturally with minimal effort.

For some guys women just fall right into their hands but I’ve never really called out to them for some reason.

I just feel as though I’m part of the bottom 80% of guys that has to actually put in effort to be in a relationship.

But I wish I knew what was making all the women flock to the top 20% of men.

They have it easy. And I want to have it easy myself. Because I have absolutely no desire to put in effort.

ShadezMcgee · Accepted Answer

"I just want everything to fall into place naturally with minimal effort."

There lies the problem, man. Nothing good in life comes free or with minimal effort. If you only pursue minimum effort and ambition you will receive minimal success or below minimum in return. You have to work for everything you want in life. You may not achieve everything, but you will become stronger and more successful by perseverance while seeking your purpose and goals.

Focus on your long and shirt term goals, out women in the back of your mind for now. What do you desire for your life outside of a woman and marriage? What is your purpose and ultimate goal? What are your hobbies and passions? Do you have a career you want or working towards? Do you have your own place?

You need to take care of yourself and get yourself sorted first before anything. Set your short and long term goals, like 5 to 10 to 20 years out. . ap out how to get there and focus on that. Everything else will fall into place if you do that. Have something to strive for to keep you focused and busy. It makes you ambitious and determined which are great qualities in a man that are respected by both men and women.

Avicenna · Accepted Answer

The problem is that you aren't motivated enough to make the effort to meet a woman who shares your values and wants the same things you do (or most of them).

Make plans to move where there is a larger pool of women you can date. Attend different churches, increase your social circle, do volunteer work, join clubs.

All women do not flock to the "top 20% of men", however one defines that. Most women are more realistic than that.

The best girlfriend I ever had required the most effort to get her to date me (partly because she was shy).

LazerBean · Accepted Answer

Most conservative women are not going to pursue a man. They might signal that they are welcome to being pursued, but they will not do pursuing themselves. The reason is, most of us are more traditional and are wanting a husband who will lead us. It seems highly doubtful that a man who won't even ask a girl out on a date because it's too much effort or too awkward is going to be a good leader in a household. For me and my husband, everything fell into place. A friend who went to church with him invited me to hang out with them, and after a while we started having more and more opportunities to hang out together and with other friends. Even with everything falling perfectly into place, nothing would have happened if he hadn't asked me out. So yeah, chances are you're going to have to put some amount of effort into finding a relationship.

Alwayreckles93 · Accepted Answer

This is so hard and difficult. If I were you I would save up as much cash as possible and move to the south. Southern woman would be a great match for you they're conservative Christian , they follow the Lord take marriage very seriously. You are an old soul. It can be hard especially with woman your age they no longer have self respect for themselves. Even if you pay for a Christian dating app with be an option where you can interact with Christian woman your age around the U. S. I would say long distance relationship with a Christian girl that shares your same values. When I was your age I was engaged. Don't loose hope you just gotta look outside of your state.

Apple1996 · Answer

If your looking for a make believe woman your never gonna find her. Seems like a problem that a lot of men have. I'd recommend dating around and not being so specific with the things you want out of a woman but focus on finding one that you love.
Like for me in my relationship I'm with my husband cause I love him not cause checks all the boxes that I want out of a man.
Just maybe something to think about, not saying lower your standards but instead date to find love cause that's what matters in the long run.

genericname85 · Answer

most women aren't looking for a casual fling. your're just not getting to know the right ones. truth about women is: they want to come into a nest that's already made. if they notice you don*'t have your life together yet, that's when they just want a fling. so i would say, make sure you got your stuff in order first. then the girls will come.

also: with a "minimal effort" mentality, you'll get nothing in life generally speaking. that's just what it is.

Hoomin · Answer

I like your ideology I would definitely date like this.

NickkyCares · Answer

Obviously you have to put more effort and attention. Focus on what you desire.

Alcoholic_Wannabe · Answer

The answer is in your question title. You're low-key admitting to never having made a woman orgasm.

CloudMassacre · Answer

How about you pray for a sign or something from your God? Don’t you go to them for guidance?

noohair · Answer

The whole world is open to you. And it will be an effort.

RuthlessAggression · Answer

It's because what you're people are doing to this shit hole of a country now

Fuentes · Answer

LOL NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE!!!

007kingifrit · Answer

asking this question is why, you aren't confident

As a conservative, Christian white American male, why have I always been single? Is it because I need to make serious effort? I don’t have patience?

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As a conservative, Christian white American male, why have I always been single? Is it because I need to make serious effort? I don’t have patience?

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