Do I make guys intimidated? If so, how do I stop it?

[Anonymous]

I barely get any male attention in real life and for the longest time I thought I was unnatractive. It was not the case. I found out that a lot of guys from my class had crushes on me before but none ever made a move.
I would say that I'm a solid 9 in looks. I often get compliments from younger and older people. My friends tell me I'm really attractive and some of them had crushes on me before too. I'm well known for being smart, I have a lot of interests, I'm fun to be around and friendly. The only complaint I ever get is that I can be annoying.
But guys never ever approach me. No guy asks my number, asks me on a date or even compliments me. I heard that guys can be intimidated by attractive women but I'm the complete opposite of "intimidating", I'm always friendly and bubbly and love to talk.
How come I have the most boring love life possible? How do I change that?

[CallmeTheKnight]

You don't intimidate anyone. You gotta avoid that kind of mindset. I get told by a lot of people that I'm Very Handsome, but I don't get approached often. I'm normally too busy or oblivious to notice someone trying get my attention unless I'm relaxed. It could be that or maybe

Second, a lot of guys may have checked you out or spoke about you, but a lot of guys having a crush on you... they probably just want to sleep with you.

Third, just because you're attractive doesn't mean people will approach you based on that. You really could be annoying.. or maybe you have certain friends that people avoid, you always have a certain look on your face, or maybe you have a reputation for something else... we don't know. A lot of men don't like to be annoyed.

Forth, just be patient and enjoy your life. Don't go out taking part in these weird sex parties or bdsm clubs or just sleep with a bunch of people. Thats not enjoying life, that's making it a mess. Just get experience by being creative and adventurous.

[Asker]

Oh, just for record the crush thing was something that happened over the years, not simultaneously that's for sure.
The annoying part is exactly what I'm afraid of because I can't even out my finger on what could it be. Maybe because I'm a bit stubborn, or just overall eccentric, maybe because I joke around too much... I can't figure it.
All my friends are very chill, lowkey people so I don't think they're the problem at all. My reputation seems to be good too, most people seem to know me for my fashion taste and for academical achievements which I don't see how could be a problem unless we make a bit of a stretch? Perhaps some may think I'm some sort of workaholic, I don't know.
And yeah, I'm demisexual so an exciting and variable sexual life isn't anywhere near what I'm interested in anyways, won't be a problem at all.

[Truthatanycost]

'I heard that guys can be intimidated by attractive women'

Less guys are approaching now, it's not worth the risk or hassle. Attractiveness won't intimidate a guy enough to stop him from approaching. Part of the fun in approaching is the adrenalin involved and the unknown. But the unknown involved nowadays is whether the guy is going to be falsely accused or labelled a creep. Look at the new trend on Tiktok of women filming themselves working out and then waiting for a guy to approach or look... then calling him a creep and shaming him in front of the whole world. Then women complain that guys never approach them...

[Asker]

What?
You know that's completely unrelated to my issue, right? Otherwise my friends wouldn't be getting dates either. I think you're looking too much into it. And also, I'm pretty sure harassing women talking about their bodies at the gym is not "approaching", it's improper and indeed creepy. The situation in hand is completely different.

[Truthatanycost]

I said less guys are approaching, I didn't say none. And it is all related indirectly if you care to look at the bigger picture.

[glennos89]

I honestly am intimidated sometimes when I see very attractive woman. Mostly because my brains instantly are telling me that she is probably not single anymore or that I'm simply not good enough for her which I know is total bs. But my brain is hardwired like this and it's difficult to change for me sadly because I usually have no problems with girls not liking me.

My problem is that the girls I don't like are into me and the girls I like are mostly intimidating to me to talk to for some dumb reason 😂🙈

[Asker]

What if you knew she was single? Would that change?

[glennos89]

No I don't think so. I'm not the smoothest talker so unless she is giving me clear signs that she wants to have a conversation with me I probably still would have difficulties opening up to her and start a conversation

[Jasooty]

Read this: https://www.themodernman.com/blog/why-some-beautiful-women-struggle-to-get-a-boyfriend.html
And (when you’re older) go to events that are designed for singles to meet each other

[Asker]

Thank you! It's very informative but I still don't know how to solve my problem... And I don't know if we have those where I live at all, at least I've never heard of it, but thanks for suggesting!

[Jasooty]

Use the website/app Meetup. You could find a local singles group on that, or worst case you can create your own singles group on it.
Otherwise you can just look at other social groups that they have and try other ways to meet new people.

[Bluethinker456]

"I'm the complete opposite of "intimidating", I'm always friendly and bubbly and love to talk." They're probably not intimidated in the way you think it is, they think they're not good enough for you. I'm not sure on the best advice for you, but don't change who you are because of it, maybe try to make a move if you're interested in a guy.

[Asker]

I've been trying to make a move on the guy I like for some months now but it's leading nowhere... We tease eachother a lot and I try to flirt with him and text him every now and then. But he never sends me a message, tried to make clear he is interested in me, compliments me, nothing. I wanted to try to ask him out but I feel like my efforts are way too one-sided...

[Bluethinker456]

What makes you think he's intimidated by you, instead of non being interested, or being shy, or whatever?

[Asker]

I don't know if he's intimidated or not or what is his deal. I do think he is somewhat interest because my friends, his friends and even our teachers say that he teases me for attention. And he's even a bit in the impulsive side so I don't see why would he shy away and never make a move after years of knowing me. Maybe he's trying to keep his options open, or something, I don't know.

[Sonorous]

Maybe don't make yourself look as attractive? Don't do your makeup? Wear clothes that make you look more casual? Do something silly that shows you're also human like them?

[Asker]

I get compliments about my style from other girls often. I don't usually do more than very little makeup though, I'm not very skilled at it and I didn't think it was necessary up until now... And I'm not by any means someone who seem to be "divine-like"; I'm clumsy, goofy, a bit awkward at times, some would wven call me eccentric. I'm not really the type to pass an unapproachable image at all.

[Sonorous]

Ahh okay maybe they're just too young rn. But don't worry, soon I imagine there will be someone who won't be intimidated. There always is.

[Anonymous]

I could be way off but from just reading what you wrote, a part of me detects a little narcissism or something. Can’t pinpoint it exactly.

[Asker]

How come? As in the personality disorder?

[Birdlegs]

Maybe they just don’t want you enough to pursue you

[grierwrange]

She said they want her. Lol did you read

[Birdlegs]

Reread what I said

[grierwrange]

Lmao

[grierwrange]

Are you regarded?

[Birdlegs]

Are you regarded? You seem to lack some reading comprehension skills

[grierwrange]

She literally said they have a crush on her so yes they want her more than any other girl and enough to pursue. Get it?

[Birdlegs]

Yeaaaa it seems you’re not the brightest. We’re done here

[grierwrange]

Illiterate

[grierwrange]

Also I meant to say retarded which you clearly are so yeaaaaa bye

[IsoUser]

My guess probably because you have a Tramp Stamp on lower back

[Asker]

You mean the tattoo? Because that's not really the case...

[RuthlessAggression]

Pics or it ain't true

Can't claim you're a 9, then go anon.

[blissinanarchy1]

She’s under 18 and you’re asking for pics.

[RuthlessAggression]

As long as she's at least 16, it's fine

16 is age of consent is my state

[blissinanarchy1]

You’re also 33. You’re twice her age dude. It’s gross. 16 is the age of consent here too, so you might be from PA. Legal doesn’t mean moral.

[RuthlessAggression]

@blissinanarchy1 Of course it does

If it's legal, it's moral

I'm from OH

[Guy13]

Oh, you're perfect...

[Guy13]

You are way too young to be worrying about this... but at some point we all enter into... Welcome to the world of Insecurity as we can not do anything about others' issues. Do not get insecure, hate yourself, selfish, or lose kindness/heart. At least you are better looking than the guys which is how that's supposed to be.

[Asker]

Thank you for the support... I'll try to not let it put me down, but it's very frustrating to be honest... It makes me wonder if there's something wrong with me or I'm simply unlucky.

[Guy13]

You are closer to Woman. They are closer to Boys. Get through Graduate school... Probably be totally different Sophomore year of Undergraduate.

[Zolly99999]

Why dont you try approaching them?

[Asker]

I've tried a couple of times but it often backfires... My efforts seem one-sided most of the time.

[Zolly99999]

Really wow. I find that strange. Maybe if I seen a pic of you I could give you a better answer..

[Wise4myage]

You sound very vain.

[Asker]

It's silly to tell someone they're vain because they recognize they have good looks. Besides, it's not like a guy will hit me on because of academic achievements or something.

[cootjuhh]

hm you sound nice

[blissinanarchy1]

She also sounds like a minor