Tips for dating a coworker?

[Anonymous]

Before I get into this, I don't want any talk about how you feel about dating coworkers. It's not my question. Why shouldn't two people, who happen to work together, get together if that's what they want.

We've been seeing eachother for close to a month. We've had an agreement of sorts not to mention anything to our colleagues because, frankly, it doesn't concern them, and we aren't official or anything just yet.

The feeling's mutual, and there is nothing in our work clause/contract to suggest we need to disclose anything.

I just want things to run smoothly between us, like they would if we weren't working together. That's how I think things should be.

Has anyone been in this situation and have any valuable input/experience to share?

[DaveJord]

Nope never been in that situation, I got nothing useful or helpful. I always avoid work place relationship but you don't want to hear that, but this is exactly why. It just makes everything that more difficult... even you said you want to be like a normal relationship as if you're not co-workers but that's bullshit cause you are and you knew that.

I am sorry that I am useless to you.

[Asker]

You say that you avoid them, but why?

Why does it make everything more difficult?

[DaveJord]

Because i am a different person at work than I am at home or in my personal life. When you hit that bump in the road in the relationship, going to work can be an escape that allows you to give them space and time to work through issues. But you go to work, she's there no time or space its like boom your together or interacting 80% more of the time than normal dating couples,, and 50% of that time your pretending your not dating... because you don't want co workers forming opinions.

I see my girl friend 3 out of 4 weekends a month like, 6 days a month. Your seeing yours every fucking day. That can suffocate a relationship at the start.

There's no good way to breakup with coworker, because you have deal with professionally every day. So you start to wear thin and can be very taxing.

Us I am a senior management so there are legal liabilities, potential sexual harassment liabilities.

When a work place relationship goes bad, then your forced to deal with each other daily, like you see them all the time... and can become toxic not only for you two but everyone around you.

[Asker]

I should have mentioned that we work from home and we don't always have the same shifts.

At least for now, I don't think we get under eachothers feet at work.

She'll send me a quick message some days and I find that cute.

I don't message in between dates, so that way we have a lot of things to say during the dates and there's certain level of anticipation that builds, which is always good.

[Britchie]

Take it really slow and become friends first. Make sure they are someone you could still be friends with even if a relationship doesn't work out

[Asker]

Become friends?

We've slept together already man. We're dating.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't matter what strategy you use, emotion, desire, sex, feelings and human connection cannot be compartmentalized. Not for long anyway.

[Asker]

I just rather it be later than any time soon

[Anonymous]

i'm never one to date co workers although it does obviously happen , you seem to be going about it the right way. but its still one of those things

[Asker]

Yeah you're right, but it's just about making sure we don't mix work with pleasure.

Also, it kind of feels exciting to keep it from everyone else.