Experience dating coworker?

[Anonymous]

Hi, I'm looking for peoples' experiences when they've dated coworkers.. either before, during or after the relationship.

And don't tell me not to, I already know it's not the best idea. That's not what I'm asking this question for.

I just want experiences.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

This is a common subject. People always ask questions about getting together with co-workers, or even worse, Bosses.

This is a terrible idea.

Why?

Because, everyone will talk about this. No, you cannot keep it a secret. Everyone knows "who's doing who". People can see the subtle looks, body language, etc. People will talk about you, in some cases, negatively, because they know it isn't cool.

If the 2 parties are overt in their relationship, it creates a nonprofessional environment, which can lead to difficulties with the bosses.

If it IS a boss, then problems with the next level of management may occur. Rumors are worse. "Look who's sleeping themselves upward".. on and on.

THEN, if the relationship fails. What then? Well, the talk gets worse. The two parties themselves may talk poorly about the other person. Rumors are started. True or false, a bad environment ensues.

Nothing good becomes of this.

[Anonymous]

Dated a girl from work and we kept it hidden for six months. I was actually engaged to her before anyone found out we were dating. This is when the shit started. EVERYONE gets in your business, management hates the two of you dating, and you never get any peace at work.
Finally she couldn't take it and quit to take a lesser paying job somewhere else. Actually almost killed our engagement. But it finally paid off, we have been married three years now

[Asker]

Thank you for sharing your experience

[Asker]

Quick Q: when you say everyone gets in your business, what do you mean?

[Opinion Owner]

Co-workers ALWAYS asking how was last night, did the date go well, did you stay at your place or hers? If you are fighting or not getting along everyone knows about it and makes it worse. Guys who have a crush on her will tell her I'm not good for her. Girls who have a crush on me say she's a bitch. It's horrible when you work with the person you see outside of work you feel like you get no release no alone time so when you are fighting the problem is always in your face.
If we hadn't kept our relationship private for six months we never would have made it. Never.

[Asker]

That's valuable information to think about, thanks!

[Asker]

How did you keep it secret at work? Just not acknowledge each other?

[Opinion Owner]

We agreed to act the same at work no matter what. That was hard, very hard. Some of our "work" friends thought something might be going on but we denied it so they kept assuming nothing was.
Outside of work we had to date on the sly - basically went places where we hoped we wouldn't run into work people, and as we got into the relationship we would meet at each other's apartment and make each other dinner or breakfast. We are both outdoorsy so we'd go camping or shooting and hiking so we'd be out in the forest and not risk running into anyone.
It was a great six months and being secret just sorta added to the spice of the relationship. We figurined we had to go public when I asked her to marry me but looking back I should have kept it quiet until our wedding day lol

[Asker]

Hahah, that would have been epic... Suddenly just show up with wedding rings on both your fingers.

[Opinion Owner]

I wanted to do that, at least no tell anyone until I had the engagement ring on her. But she felt at least that we were engaged - we didn't buy her ring until a few weeks later - we needed to let everyone know so they wouldn't freak out. OH if we had only known.

[Anonymous]

Most relationships fail, so it's usually not a good idea, especially if you have to see them all the time after your break-up. Anyway, you can always attempt it if you want.

[817medic]

Depends how mature y'all are. If he cheats on you with another coworker can and will you be mature and not cause work drama?

What if you cheats on you with another coworker?

[jglez]

It is dangerous territory. If anything goes wrong, it may be extremely awkward afterwards. Some establishments do not even tolerate it at all and will move one party somewhere else.