Is it shallow because I don’t want to date a guy bc he works at a gas station?

[Anonymous]

I have a pretty good job, bringing in higher than average income, good credit, my own place. Is it wrong that I don’t want to date him bc of his job/income? And he lives with his brother. (We are both 27 years old).

Updates

+1 y

I spent a lot of my past loaning my ex’s money and helping with their bills. Am I really wrong for not wanting to be in that situation again? 😐

Updates

+1 y

Long story short, I cut the guy off. We are grown as hell there is nothing wrong with wanting a person on the same level as us. Same goes for men as well.

[Waldoe]

it is NOT shallow; you deserve a guy that is your intellectual Equal... you could never have a future with someone that was NOT on an equal level with you, (Intellectually or financially)

[Asker]

Thank you. Your articulated my sentiment!!

[RavVid]

A very sensible decision Asker. Glad you decided to

[Asker]

Let some of the guys in the comments tell it. They think I’m wrong for wanting someone on the same level as myself. 😒

[animesenpai]

No it's not shallow it's a preference.

[Asker]

Thank you. The amount of projection in the comments is disturbing.

[Kaneki05]

Yup. I disagree with your ideology if you like someone it don't matter what job they have and money is not a thing that defines love at all. There was a woman who married a homeless man and today they have 2 kids and happy life together now that's love. What your looking for is just someone to settle with.
You should just get to know someone, like them for them ignore stuff like money and job. And longs if they are not hurtful towards you in ways then that should lead to a genuine affection that don't worry about trivial things.
Love is better than that.

[Asker]

Yeah just wringing me dry having to loan people money every week because they can’t afford basic needs. I need a break too.

[Kaneki05]

No one said anything about loans. But again money don't matter when in love aka my example. So that's a you problem that you don't understand it yet.

[Kaneki05]

Oh you did mention it ur update but point still stands.

[Kaneki05]

Also if your concerned about them just using you for your money just don't give them any it's not hard really. Who said you had to give them money?

[Libertycityguy]

Probably mommy said not to go to his level

[Asker]

It’s the fact that I don’t want to be with someone who needs money in the first place lol

[Kaneki05]

You don't want to be with someone who needs money? no one meets that requirement since we all quite literally need money in this society to buy even the most simple things like food. Even you need money smh. If someone took away your money right now you would soon realise that lmao.

[Honesttguy]

Good luck. You have to compete with lots of other women for those high value males that you all want. And those men can pick and choose the best one of bunch of you, and it will not be your job status that matter to them cus they already make money.

However with simple earning guys there's plenty of them and you could easily settle down have baby and family if thats what you wanted, but who wants that right?

[Asker]

Well, the thing is, I’m not asking for a “high value man”. Just someone in the same tax bracket. He makes less than $28,000 where as I make over $75,000.

[Honesttguy]

Well from quick google sear us, 53% population makes less then your 75k, means you have left with 47% that would be more on your level when it comes to income, not bad so far, any oyher criterias thst you have?

[Asker]

No. Like I wouldn’t even care if he was a server or bartender because they make tips. I just spent a lot of my past loaning guys money or helping with their bills. I just don’t want to be in that situation again.

[MCheetah]

Yes, that's shallow AF. It's not his fault he didn't slide out of a rich vagina as a baby.

Also, this is proof that lots of women are shallow and materialistic.. Guy earns a lot of money, she wants his money too. Girl owns a lot of money; she only wants a guy who earns more than her. Women like that are pretty much a dealbreaker, for me. Sh*t personalities are not attractive to me.

[Asker]

Umm what? My parents are poor the fuck are you even talking about lol.

[MCheetah]

Okay. I'll go slow this time.

1. It is not his fault he was born poor, born male, or didn't have extreme luck like you apparently did.
2. If you are wealthy, what does it matter how much money he makes?
3. If he made way more money than you, would it be fair for him to not want to date you because you "only" make $75K a year?
4. Why do (many) women only want to date men who make more than them if they claim "it isn't about the money?" Maybe cause that line is BS?
5. You never said what your job is. For all we know, you could be on OnlyFans, a Twitch thot, or a porn star. How would he be able to compete with that if that were the case?

So, for all those reasons and more, you are shallow.
But I know, you came here to have simps kiss your ass, emotionally validate you, and tell you otherwise. Okay, fine.

"No, you're not shallow for dating a man purely on how much money he makes. No, it's okay to reduce a man down to his income and then claim 'It's not about the money.' You're so great and wonderful! Any man would be LUCKY to have you! Any man would trust you as a loyal partner and as someone to not leave the moment Mark Zuckerberg announces he's getting divorced. You're soooooooo amazing and not shallow!"

Is that better?

[Asker]

You sound very hurt. I can’t talk to a male speaking from a place of emotion. Good day. 👋

[MCheetah]

So you got nothing to dispute and want to take your ball and go home, indirectly proving me right? Got it. Okay, thanks.

[KrakenAttackin]

@mcheetah. She just wants people to agree with her. This guy at the gas station might be working on a master's in physics for all she knows.

[Asker]

But he’s not. @krakenattackin We’ve spent almost three months getting to know each other and he asked me to lend him money. I literally spent two years of my life in a relationship lending money and paying his phone bill. I don’t want that for myself again.

[Asker]

@cheetah Looks like all of the mad broke guys coming out the cracks🥱🥱🥱. You revisited my question to continue to try to argue your point after I did not respond to you. 😂 He asked me for money and I simply don’t want a guy that is going to do that. Would you date someone that’s asking you for money? 🥱🥱🥱 lol I don’t know one financially responsible person that would date someone who is not, clearly you’re not because you would understand my sentiment. Anyways, argue amongst yourselves I’m out.

[KrakenAttackin]

Asker... but physically he gets you wet.

[MCheetah]

@KrakenAttackin
She's a f*cking thot. I'm done being nice here. She moves the goalposts all the time, first making it about him "not being in her tax bracket." Then reveals new information that it's about him being a leech and not an independent man who can pay for his own bills.

Women like this are hot trash. And not to sound like an "Uncle Tom" or anything, but I can tell she's black too. With the "We grown folks" Ghetto Fabulous vernacular.

"Would you date someone that’s asking you for money?"
You mean most women? Including you? No, I actually would not. I have self-respect. Which is ironically what women claim to want in a man when they're young. When they almost hit 30 or older though, they want a rich beta who'll pay for all their sh*t, including the children they have from the previous Chads who pumped-and-dumped her.

[KrakenAttackin]

@mcheetah. Yup, as I said earlier, they want Alphas in their prime and Betas when they decline.

[laurieluvsit]

When I saw the title I was going to say yes but reading your explanation, it is perfectly acceptable to want to be on an equal footing financially with him so he does not become dependent on you.

If you should marry and have a baby, you will need to be at home with the baby and he will need to become the provider. That is what you need to look for in a guy if that is your goal.

All is well :)

[mark000h]

Laurieluvsit this is the definition of hypergamy. It's why men aren't getting into relationships or marrying. Imagine if before feminism, when men were breadwinners they had this standard that they would only marry someone at their level or above. Nowadays men have been displaced by women in college and the workplace, and women still uphold this standard from before when they had no income and little education. How is any man supposed to compete now that the rules have been turned on their head? It's a rigged game where women are losing as well as men.

[laurieluvsit]

@mark000h
I am not a modern crazed feminist. I believe in traditional values in marriage so your issues are not on any of my pages but I know what you are saying Mr Mark, yes.

[mark000h]

Laurie, i realize you aren't as I've seen your responses before. Pretty level headed, but just was noting that this is the result of 60 years of hardcore feminism, some women still having traditional expectations for romance but equality or above in the world at large. I believe in traditional things too and am not talking about viewing women as less than men, but about traditional roles. It's just that men find it near impossible nowadays or are unwilling to live up to traditional expectations in relationships while having to be competitive everywhere else.

[laurieluvsit]

@mark000h
Yes, I understand you Mr Mark, really. I wish it were different too.

[Anonymous]

I don't know. kind of a sore spot for me so I'm not exactly unbiased here. I was turned down a lot by girls when I was working as a janitor at a high school. They just didn't know I also took a lot of that money and invested in some smart stocks. I feel like a lot of us get judged by what people see us doing, and not by what we might be doing behind the scenes because they don't even take the time to get to know us. I didn't finish college, yet I'm highly successful in the world of investing. Maybe there's more to the guy than you think. Ya never know. Maybe not. But I guess it's not really shallow. It's just judgmental.

[KrakenAttackin]

Well, you are obviously physically attracted to him, but he doesn't make enough money. This isn't "shallow", it's just "female". After you are married to a high earning Beta, you can come back and bang gas station boy on the side.

[Asker]

I probably shouldn’t have laughed at this 🫢🫢🫢🫢

[HighValue]

Men with low income are easily replaceable.

Men with high income can easily replace the woman they are with.

It is your choice which situation you want to be in.

[Asker]

The situation I want to be in, is NOT having to lend people money or pay their bills because they can’t afford them. I made the right choice.

[MCheetah]

Except no one said he'd be leeching off you for money, or you had any obligation to give him money. Most women in general don't lend money to men. Hell, half of women in general still expect men to pay for their meals and give them free sh*t like they're five years old. They want to be catered to merely for having a vagina and then want to spew immature-ass, ratchet ho lines like "We grown folks" while you just want a man to talk you across Europe every weekend because you've been taught by society that "His money is our money, but my money is my money alone." And then you'll give every excuse in the book despite you knowing you're shallow AF by the very asking of this question to begin with - Anonymously, no less.

We're just all not your gay best friend to emotionally validate your awful personality for you and kiss your ass, like you want. But men are used to this from women all the time, and man of us are sick of excusing bad women for immature behavior while they say things like "I'm grown" but act like a sugar baby.

[Libertycityguy]

He probably deserves better

[Asker]

Imagine being mad over someone’s preference. Lol I never once spoke negatively about him. Just stated my preference. If you’re mad about it, sounds like you’re projecting rather than actually analyzing the situation.

[MCheetah]

You deemed him an inferior man and a bum not worth your time based on how much money he makes, despite you having your own money, meaning it should be a non-issue. Don't try to feed me bullsh*t and assume I'm another internet dummy. Especially while being anonymous.

Just admit you want a sugar daddy and call it a day, Ms. "Grown Folks."

[SlothySlob]

Yes, I find it shallow. You are judging a persons worth by their current income revenue, and not by who the person is and what they've done to get to this point.

[andreasderjuengere]

A bit of snobbism always is justified.

Not, to ''look down'' on others - just to keep relations within the options, potential and ''horizon'' of each participating party.

[Asker]

Well, I’m not being snobby about it. It’s coming from a place of genuine concern because I spent my past loaning money and paying other guys bills. I just don’t want to do that any more.

[andreasderjuengere]

''Snob'' wasn't meant as a negative comment :)

[tanvishah123]

You just have standard so why are u feeling bad about it. Everyone wants to date a guy who is financially well off

[Asker]

Pfff let some of the people in the comments tell it lol Apparently I’m wrong here. 😂

[FilmGuy93]

Yes, that is shallow. But it's also not unreasonable. Shallow doesn't have to be a bad thing

[Asker]

Like, I just spent a lot of my past loaning guys money and paying their bills I just don’t want to be in that situation again.

[FilmGuy93]

Perfectly understandable!

[RavVid]

Well I would tend to think it is sensible of you. It might be shallow but sensibly shallow.

[Libertycityguy]

depends. is he in debt? then yeah. but if he isn't then you are being judgmental.

[Asker]

He asked me to loan him money, it’s been not even 3 months.

[Danny_dan92]

What job for him to have would have made you say otherwise?

[Asker]

St least like if he was a server or bartender or something.

[Danny_dan92]

That’s fair

[Anonymous]

You're asking two different questions. Is it wrong? No, not really. Is it shallow? Kinda, yeah.

[FunkyMonkee]

Yeah, that'd be a good way to put it but, I'd call it, "plastic".

[Texaskid1]

It is very shallow indeed.

At the same time think of the free gas.

[Keepitreal007]

Shallow… yes… but wanting a better life for yourself is okay to have. Don’t settle go get what you want.

[Lycanthropic]

You're not obligated to date anyone for any reason.

If you feel guilty because you like him then that is a personal problem.

[zagor]

Just because he works at a gas station doesn't mean he's a leech. Well-paid guys can be that way too.

[Zolly99999]

Yes. I think so.. why are some women so hung up on the guys income?

[Asker]

In my precious relationship I was in the same situation. Dating a guy that I made way more money than. All of our relationship I was stuck giving him money and helping him out with his bills, etc. so yeah just don’t want to get in that situation again.

[Asker]

Previous*

[Zolly99999]

I did not blame you. People should be to take care of them selves

[slatyb]

You don’t owe anyone a date.

[Silver158]

yes, very very shallow

[Anonymous]

Personally no

[RuthlessAggression]

very