Should I be okay with my boyfriend watching p*rn, when I particularly am not comfortable with it?

[Anonymous]

[Qdbrown]

Here's the secret. All guys masterbate. Porn is a masterbation tool. It helps get that uncontrollable urge to have sex out of them.

So if he prefers porn over you, is a problem.

If you're satisfied with his sex with you, then porn is actually a plus.

So let's say he stops the porn and masterbation, if he feels the need, are you comfortable with him pursuing other women sexually with you in-tow as well? Most women don't share, but if you want him to stop the porn, and he needs the release, and even though you believe that you should be the one-stop shop for all his sexual needs, the truth is that most guys under 50 want more sex than what one woman can provide, and not become boring to him.

Now you can say the defect is his. And you can find a new guy, but guarantee you that most guys will want that release at times, and most guys are great at hiding it.

So where do you want to see yourself in this picture? He doesn't have sex for the same reason you do. For a guy it's all feeling and pushing his thing, which for many guys turns into a kink.

If you want to become his kink, be prepared to get naked in the strangest places. Expect him to take pictures. He might want you to sleep with his friends or even strangers. He might want you to put on a furry animal outfit, or he might want you to dance and strip at a club full of lonely old men. He might want you to become an OnlyFans girl or cam girl. And he might even want you to have sex with another woman or visit a swingers club. I can guarantee you that his imagination if you really want to go there is sorted and perverted. Young guys are not that developed. With porn, it tells me he has something a bit more than you can or want to provide, and he is taking care of that sratch on his own, and not acting on it. Porn has it's uses.

Just be prepared if you want to truly become his porn girl. In some cases be lives his fantasy, but at the expense of the relationship. Many of a guy eventually loses interest in his woman when he sees her do naughty things.

[DaveJord]

Nope you do not need to be comfortable with it in the least. Just don't expect him to stop because you have issues about it.

If he is 100% okay with it and you're 100% not okay with it, then it might be a you problem not him problem. At the end of the day you want him to respect your feelings, but what about his feelings, are you respecting his?

Who's feelings are more relevant, or important? Can you agree to disagree and get over it?

If not break up with him, because even if he says he'll stop, all that means is that he'll get smarter and better at hiding it from you, and honestly that would be your fault at well because you gave no real choice but to make you an empty promise.

So break up with him and hope you can find some other guy in this world that doesn't watch porn, or rethink how important it is to you. Or just get over it, because the problem might just yours and have nothing to do with him.

[OlderAndWiser]

Why do you need other people to tell you what you should feel comfortable with?

[Guy13]

I would not be comfortable.. nor would i accept it... and it would be sometime (longer than a month) before I was physically capable of meeting a sexual need. That's just me though.

[Asker]

we have been together for 8 going on 9 months and im just not comfortable letting him watch another women if that makes any sense.

[Guy13]

You seem to be a smart lady. It makes total sense as the next logical step would seemingly be a real person. Maybe today, there's some Anime thing in between... or the OF thing. It seems like an exercise of the Flesh that is likely never satiated. You are pretty smart instinctively... I don't know. Beginning of a long ride... I don't know. It's a Pause thing for me though.

[Asker]

I am very comfortable doing things with him and willing to help him, and he respects when i say no and I always talk to him about how i feel about things and usually i eventually get over what is bothering me but, this situation in particular just really just sticks in my head.

[Guy13]

This stuff is above everyone's pay grade... Counselor maybe? I always go Bible/Math/Science. Read Bible. Do data analysis after parameters, metrics, and equations pontificated in chalk... Brain-and from there are the "Socialscience"-psychology which would be like addiction and observation. Simple Accounting at some point. Debits/Credits... Cost/Benefits Analysis... Heart-Searchin (Bible).
I'm sorry and not in a "smart-ass' way.

[Asker]

No no your okay thank you!! :)

[Guy13]

Okay-Best!!

[Anonymous]

You can dislike it. but trying to control him, his body.. Thats a bad choice.

The only way denying him access to porn is even close to acceptable, is if you make your self available to him 24x7 and never say no to sex.

[Asker]

I open myself up to him everytime I see him, unless im feeling like absolute shit and iĺl even help him over the phone.

[NeffexSelfMade]

either you become the porn

or he will watch it

[Anonymous]

Talk to him about it and tell him how you feel. I think its very reasonable request

[slatyb]

Yes, you should. It's just a movie.

[Asker]

Even if he says its okay and doesn´t mind?

[slatyb]

What specifically makes you unhappy?

[JakeS00]

Definitely up to you to let one know.

[jahaims]

That's for you to decide.

[Anonymous]

Just make sure he knows how you feel.

[Iron_Man]

Talk to him

[Asker]

I have and he said he was okay that i felt that way, but i can't help but feel like im being controlling and i feel very guilty about it.

[Iron_Man]

No it’s good that you’re doing that don’t feel guilty