Is it wrong if a man appreciates that his girlfriend is a virgin because she waited for the right man?

[Anonymous]

Look, he doesn't force her to remain a virgin. He didn't expect her to be a virgin. He met her, fell in love and then found out she is a virgin (she told him).

He appreciates that she is untouched and that she waited for the right man.

Updates

+1 y

I forgot to mention the scenario in which he is NOT a virgin

Updates

+1 y

One more question. Which trait of a woman shows immaturity/naivety? Saving herself for the right man or having sex with random men?
I really can't wrap my head how irrational some people are to tell me I am naive for not losing it. How am I naive for deciding when, where and who I should share my intimacy with. This is the most personal intimate thing that should't be done in an impulsive way. If i were naive I would have been fooled by an experienced man.

[Aerissa_Jade]

Nothing wrong with it, in fact some of the longest lasting marriages I've personally seen are those where BOTH waited until marriage as the sexual act became like a strong super glue that they had never shared with anyone else.

[Asker]

That is what I have seen too.

[Apple1996]

Really depends on her age cuz anyone (male or female) older then 21 and still a virgin is a huge red flag and just shows that they are late bloomers. Like personally i feel it's better for everyone to do things at the appropriate times like development wise. I think guys getting with older virgins need to be on the look out cuz there is prob gonna be problems with in that relationship if they are not on the same level.

[Asker]

I was talking about appreciatinh not when you think it is appropriate to lose virginity

[Apple1996]

I think the appreciation depends on age. Under 21 yeah guys love that. Over that there are red flags and some guys are too stupid to notice that

[Apple1996]

My opinion is more a warning to the guys here that find girls like this

[Asker]

What red flags are there?
If you want to warn them as you said you should list those red flags too

[Apple1996]

That there are gonna be problems during fights and such cuz this girl thinks her virginity is valuable when it's not. And the fact that she is behind her peers mentally isn't a good sign so a mature guy is gonna take advantage of her just cuz he knows she is naive. It's not good on either side of this.

[Asker]

If she was naive then why would she still not be fooled into losing her virginity?

[Apple1996]

Like young women are suppose to be naive and unexperinced.. a older woman shouldn't. It's like a 30 year old living in their parents basement just shows that person is behind in life compared to a 21 year old living with their parents its completely okay and normal

[Asker]

I mean a 30 year old virgin can't be naive. If she were she would have been taken advantage of and get fucked. But the fact that she is still a virgin means she at least have never been fooled to lose it.

[Asker]

Ronaldo lives with his mom. Is he a loser?

[Fuentes]

@marish01 a 30 year virgin to Me = immature and lacks experience and yes I see you as naive. Because you did not lose it. That means you're inexperienced no amount of books is going to give you street smarts. You really can't hang with me or understand me in a relationship because their will always be that immature aspect from you that you purposely been a virgin. Theirs a reason there is a movie called "40 year old virgin" dude was so out of touch with women and reality & not many men will put up with that or you would have found someone already & not to be mean but once you turn 35 pregnancies becomes high risk.

[Asker]

@Fuentes emotional baggage from breakup brings more immature traits.
Plus a real man loves that his woman never has gone down on a man or a woman.
I am untouched and unkissed. I am so glad that I have never had an ex.

[Asker]

@Fuentes by the way you could use your own thread. Why did you join?

[Asker]

@Fuentes oh wait. I saw. You did shared your opinion. I ignored. So you replied here lol.
Nice try. You got my attention.

[Fuentes]

@marish01 i don't know what REAL men you speak too but these dudes online ain't telling you the truth at all lol I am not into virgins & I don't have time to Teach you things. I'm turned off by women who can't kiss & if you can't suck D that's another issue and if you never dated a man before that's a problem too lol at 30 i had to build myself up the last thing I wanna do is deal with another adult who lacks all capabilites of a realtionship & thinks I should be ok with it.

[Asker]

@Fuentes lol but why do you think I asked you to date me? Or i asked you if you would date a virgin or not?
My original question is
Read above

[Asker]

@Fuentes by the way I am sure you will kiss the mouth that had sucked l9ts of dicks. It turns you on.

[Fuentes]

@marish01 i said it's a problem im responding to you saying that you're not seen as naive, when infact that's exactly how I see it.

[Fuentes]

@marish01 that makes no sense. Cause most men have ate multiple pussies so the man you do allow to kiss you cause at 30 will have other woman's vaginas in his mouth at one pointnin his life, a lot have therefore what logic is that?

[Asker]

@Fuentes I didn't ask you how you see me.

[Apple1996]

@Fuentes I agree a lot of online guys searching for virgins but in person I've never heard a man say that. They always seem to prefer experienced girls.
Like me and my husband lost are virginity to each other but before that I messed around with a lot of guys and knew how to suck dick good and he liked that I already knew how to so there was no teaching game going on.

[Fuentes]

@marish01 I swear we always have a language barrier when we speak lol I said I'm responding to you here telling Apple that you're not see as naive and im telling you that's not true cause as a MAN I see you as naive & I'm sure their are tons of men like me who would also see you as naive lol

[Fuentes]

@Apple1996 yes exactly I don't understand how people think books and online experiences translate into the real world. You have to have real life experiences to come with it not just your own fictional opinion.

[Apple1996]

@Fuentes I don't get that either like go outside and live a real life. Having no experience is just sad. Not just sexually but overal

[Asker]

@Fuentes I will have my real life experience with the man I will marry. Only his opinion matters.
No slut and no cuck can tell me otherwise 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Asker]

I am glad I haven't had sexual experience. Don't worry. It is not sad to me at all.

[Apple1996]

It's gonna suck once you get older tho since your sex drive will slow. Better to have sex between 18-45. If your 32 your in your prime and should be having fun now. Not trying to come off mean but why did you not get with a man sooner like in your 20s?

[Asker]

Because I have other plans. I am 30 and will remain virgin till 35.
I am happy I haven't lost it yet. Look if I felt sad about waiting this long why would I decide to wait another 5 years. So I am definitely happy with my choice.

[Fuentes]

@marish01 so every man you run into at your age is a cuck cause they have experience? This is the immaturity you spew because you have no argument. It will never make sense & apple is married so she can't be a slut. No logic at all and aren't you the one who makes videos on women not understanding how men think? But when you don't have a argument you respond exactly how other women do, the ones you complain about? Lol maybe it's rely just a language barrier at this point. That's what I'm gonna go with.

[Apple1996]

That's cuz your naive. I saved myself for the right guy too but then again I was 17 at the time and still very young. I wish I wouldn't have done that cuz placing value on my virginity was stupid. Like I love my husband and everything but I'd still feel that way even if I slept with 10 people before him. So it's not that I regret not having sex. I just regret valuing my virginity cuz in the end it was really nothing

[Asker]

@Fuentes I didn't mean you. I meant in general. Because usually sluts and cucks try to convince me to lose it just for fun

[Asker]

Lol you want to push your initial point about naivety. I know you will try to make me sound naive by making irrational arguments.
Lol
Your last statement makes you immature.
No mature person especially married sayd they wished they were fucked by 10 person before 17. This is really sick.
I am worried about your kids' future.
How does your husband feel that you wished you were fucked by 10 men before him? Does he feel proud of having such a wife?
He should feel ashamed

[Apple1996]

He thinks I'm cool for being slutty and having a dirty mind but I don't wish I did that. I'm just saying I could have cuz virginity isn't valuable to me or my husband. And my kids don't give a fuck about what I do sexually. I didn't care about my mom like that at all I'm just happy she loved and took care of me.

[Asker]

With all my respect to you, after your previous comment I lost my interest in talking to you

[Apple1996]

You do realize you don't have to cancel someone out just cuz they don't share the same opinion as you. The point of this site is to share and learn about others opinions.

[Asker]

You do realize I have the right to not talk to someone.
The point of this site is not to be forced to talk if you don't want to.
I didn't block you. Talk all you want. But remember I am not obligated to respond. Bye.

[ethanallen]

I dated a woman who was a 30 year old virgin. She didn't have sex with me because we were not married. I didn't marry who because she had the maturity of a 14 year old girl. She had serious psychological issues which she used the Church and Jesus to hide behind. Women who reach 21 and art still virgins have serious mental health problems that prevented them from being intimate. Religion is the excuse they use to avoid dealing with their real problems.

[Asker]

@ethanallen 70% of Americans have mental issues. Almost all of them are not virgins.
Virginity doesn't create mental health issues. Promiscuity, breakups, sexual abuse, bullying, etc cause those issues.
I have never ever experienced any trauma. I am absolutely healthy.

[Apple1996]

@ethanallen total agree there is definitely something wrong with girls that old who stay virgins

[Fuentes]

@ethanallen that's why I don't like virgins lol I can't deal with that I came to far in life too

[SixFootSexy]

Most men who want to actually commit to a woman would prefer a virgin. It doesn't matter how much "modernity" has corrupted sexuality and thinking. Men want to be assured that any children their wife has is their own seed only.

[Asker]

Even if she has never got pregnant she still had his semen in or on her body which might turn men off, right?

[SixFootSexy]

I mean there's some science to 'pair-bonding' but it's yet to be researched fully. Generally the fewer sexual partners a woman has, the more loyal she will be in a committed relationship. She has no other man's semen or sexual preferences to consider. That is the beauty and purity men desire in a wife.

[Asker]

And it means she values her intimacy with her man.

[stratford]

This is an interesting question. Before I give an opinion, what would you think if it were the boyfriend that was the virgin?

[Asker]

Only glad

[stratford]

I think it would be very sweet for two virgins to loose their virginity together - it's very romantic and special. On the flip side, if one has some experience and is empathetic, it could lead to an even more amazing experience for the virgin.
It also depends on how you define 'virgin'. If a girl has used a dildo and acheived an orgasm through doing that, is she still a virgin?

[Asker]

Yes. She is not touched by a breathing creature lol

[stratford]

Fair enough. I wonder if some guys that demand virginity (not withstanding religious reasons) could be either insecure that their partner will compare them to a previous lover, or are the jealous and possesive type that wants a girl to be pure for his exclusive pleasure?
How are partners to know their true sexual compatibility if they have never experienced sex with another?

[Asker]

Lol the whole comparing thing is pushed by insecure women who have many body counts. They refuse to acknowledge that some men do prefer intouched female body over used up ones (by used up I mean sluts' bodies not just non virgins)

[stratford]

I dislike the term 'body count' it commoditises something very special into a gamified acheivement for a minority of people that like to have sex with as many people as possible (that is up to them, I don't mind).
There are lots of people who have been deeply in love and had intense, intimate and deeply romantic and sexual relationships that were very meaningul, but for some reason (not always bad) the relationship didn't work out. They should not be denied the opportunity to have another relationship because they are no longer virgins, and I cannot see how you would know if you want to spend the rest of you life with someone if you haven't explored your sexual compatibility.
For me, if I have a strong emotional connection that causes me to fall in love - that is much more of a driving factor than whether she is a virgin.

[elizamichale1]

I think tht guy is lucky to find a virgin girl n he must love her even dearly for this tht she kept herself controled (which is close to impossible i know)

But i think tht girl then deserves her man to be virgin as well

[alice55]

Would make me wonder if he didn't have possessive / jealousy issue. Those kind of guys often have those issue.

If he's a virgin himself it's justified but if not I would be quite suspicious.

[Asker]

So what should his views on her choice of him as her first man be?

[alice55]

I'm not sure but being extra happy about her being a virgin is never a good sign if he isn't himself a virgin.

[Asker]

I just saw your reply.
It us ok if he's not a virgin as long as ge appreciates being my first man

[Sixgunsound]

There is NOTHING wrong with being a virgin. Everyone here was or is a virgin at some point. Now it is wrong to respect a woman’s choice not to have sex? Which is it?

[Sixgunsound]

You are demonstrating a greater maturity level by standing for what you believe in.

[AviatorTom]

That's good, but not necessary, and she shouldn't be elevated onto a pedestal just because she waited.

[Asker]

To me it's necessary

[AviatorTom]

@marish01 You have your standards and I respect that. My "not necessary" comment refers to how many men feel... basically, "you didn't have to wait for me, it would still be fine if you hadn't"

[Asker]

You didn't have to wait for me=you didn't have to choose me. You could choose another man

[hafinjun]

That's always a proper attitude of virgins , you don't push, let things progress and her speed don't pressure at all, maybe she'll decide you're the right one

[genericname85]

how does she know he's the right one if she's a virgin? that's like saying she has no experience but she knows exactly what she wants. that's just impossible.

[Asker]

She can't feel love for him?

[genericname85]

yeah sure she can feel infatuation for a person. maybe love. but without any experience romantically and sexually, you don't really know what you want. and anyone who has experience will confirm this. because in theory and in your mind, things are different than in the real world often times.

[Asker]

People who have dated don't define me. Their failed relationships express their lack of values, their lack of understanding love and compassion, etc.
I will choose him based on our feelings, our vibes, our moral values and views on monogamy.
And I know what I want.

[genericname85]

well you'll make your experience and see for yourself.

[genericname85]

i'm not gonna try to explain a blind person what color is. you'll see for yourself once you'll make the experience.

[Asker]

Yes. I will choose my man myself.

[Asker]

Your analogy is too extreme.

[genericname85]

no it's not. you can't read what's in peoples heads. you can't be immune to being fucked over by the person that you love. sure you may get lucky and find the guy you'll stay with forever first try. but that's like winning the lottery. "failure" is not a flaw. failure is how you learn to do better. you're expecting to ride a bike perfectly without ever falling. you'll see if that works for you or not. my guess is it won't. good for you fi it does. i'm not wishing for you to fail but realisticly, that's what happens to humans.

[Asker]

I will only date him (be his girlfriend) when I am sure we both feel lust and emotional connection and have the same views on monogamy and family.
I won't date random men.

[genericname85]

again. in "your indvididual head" this all mekes sense. but you forget the variable that is the other guys head that you have no way of looking into. he can say he loves you. he can act as though he loves you. you don't know. that's a fact. and you don't learn how to gage people right by never having any experience. if you denie that, that's idealisitc ego. you're not gonna do better without experience at anything in life than a person who has experience. that's just how things work.

[Asker]

I disagree with every single thing you said

[genericname85]

that's ok. i would have disagreed back when i had no experience. so i definitely understand where you're coming from.

[Asker]

So if I get married my first boyfriend would you think ut's coincidence that i got the right man or good luck or my good observant and analytical skills?

[genericname85]

luck. cause the things that matter can't really be observed if you're not in that sort of relationship with them. it's like you wanna gather knowledge about thunderstorm by observing clear weather. like yeah. maybe you make the right guesses without ever seeing a thunderstorm. but that's luck, not obvervational skill, cause you didn't observe the vital thing.

[genericname85]

also getting married with the first boyfriend isn't the difficult aspect :D the difficulty is staying with them after you marry with no previous experience.

[Asker]

I mean getting married happily ever after.
How is it luck if he is the only man that I am into? How come no other man could make me be so in love? Doesn't this mean he had so many advantages and so much in common with me?

[Asker]

It is being observant. I won't like someone so much out of the blue or by blind choice

[genericname85]

if i think smoking doesn't kill me and i actually don't die of liver cancer that was caused by smoking, was i "right" or "lucky"?

[genericname85]

lung not liver xD

[Asker]

You are so bad at bringing up analogies.
I don't choose a random man. Do you understand this much?
I am extremely picky when it comes to personal life.
If I happen to like someone so much that I even consider going on dates then I am head over heels in lust with him.
I am not even talking about dating. I am talking about GOING ON DATES.
He has to be very attractive to me, very interesting to me and he has to have good family values. Only then I will EVEN consider going on dates. I won't go on dates until I am sure he has those traits. How would I know? I would chat and facetime. You might say he can lie about who he is, right?
Then either I will realize he is fake or discover it after going on a date with him. What will I lose? I better discover his tre colors before dating him than after breaking up with him.

[genericname85]

my analogy is only bad in your opinion because you refuse not accept the fact that you do not know what to look for and what matters BEFORE you had the experience yourself. we can go on and on arguing and i can bring one example after the other. if you don't accept that (which i'm guessing you won't), then really i have nothing else to tell you xD i don't mean that in any aggressive or "looking down on you" sort of way. it's just what it is.

[genericname85]

i'm sure you firmly believe to know what matters and that you're able to sift out the guys that are bad. truth is you're not. and if you find a good guy anyway, that is just luck.

[genericname85]

i can not force the humility of accepting lack of experience and knowlegde on you. but the future will do that to you anyway.

[Asker]

None of your analogies makes sense.
I do know what I want in a man. If I didn't I would date men randomly.
If I ever decide to give a man a chance then he is the only one I can see myself dating.

[Asker]

Of course I can differentiate bad men from good ones.

[genericname85]

yeah. and i know that you don't. cause every human realizes once they go through the experience of having their first few partners and realizing how fucking wrong they were. of course if you never had that humiliating experience, you don't believe that will happen. and i hope it won't happen to you but chances for that are low even if you're the smartest and most empathic person alive.

[genericname85]

like you think you know yourself and what you want and what's good in a partner. i know you do because i was like that as well. and only harsh reality can teach you the humility of being wrong about that. not some dude like me on the internet blathering on and on about it. cause if course why would you just believe some random guy on the internet? i get that.

[Reaper1985]

on average people with lower body counts are more likely to be better for long term relationships. so no it's not wrong that she opted to wait of her own free will for someone she could trust and build a life with.

[russianpsychopath]

NO. I definitely prefer women that are saving their first kiss, their virginity, etc. Those types of girls are the girls guys want. It makes them feel special.

[Twalli]

Not at all. I didn't expect my girlfriend to be one. I knew she was in a 10 year relationship before me and had boyfriends since that relationship. She turned out to be one, but I didn't think she would be one.

[Twalli]

It shows immaturity if you lose it earlier than later. You might be called a prude of you wait late, but it also makes you app8more mature

[Asker]

Did you appreciate that she chose you to be her first man?
It is surprising that she didn't have sex in her 10 year dating.
Her other boyfriends were not worthy enough for her?

[Twalli]

She had no interest in sex before dating me. The 10 year relationship lasted about 1 year longer than she intended it to because he didn't take the hint. She never really felt any desire for sex with them. She wanted ro have sex with me ever since I fingered her, probably since I was the first person to give her an orgasm (not counting herself).

[Guanfei]

Well, for me it would be something, because I am, too. For the exact same reasons.

So having someone to share that moment would be the best.

[Metelda]

its great that he appreciates the girl which means a lot to her. also it means he is not virgin lol

[Asker]

Lol yes. Non virgin still like the idea that theie girl has never touched another man's genitalia

[Metelda]

haha its a fact we seek something in other's which we can't afford or have

[ethanallen]

All of this talk about "never touched" sounds kind of like crazy Muslim talk.

[r4nd0mus3r]

nothing wrong with that at all and dont let anyone tell you otherwise lol

[Shamalien]

No, only jealous sluts think it’s wrong. Oh look here they come now

[WhiteBoyChill]

How could that possibly be interpreted as a bad thing? A woman with self control and dignity towards herself.

[OddBeMe]

Preferences are never wrong, per se. But the onus is always on the woman, it seems.

[Hellraiser1984]

Nope. I wish there were more like you. I have a limit if she's been with over 5 people I'm done.

[Ghostluck]

That depends, does she still want oral? I couldn't be with a woman if she didn't at least want me to give her oral. lol. Funny, but true. If she at least wanted oral, I would be more than happy to let her stay a virgin.

[Berethor]

Virgin women are the opposite of sluts, and many men appreciate that.

[ethanallen]

Men appreciate it at 18 or maybe 20. At 30, it is a blaring siren that warns "I have serious mental problems."

[Staximus]

Why the hell would it be wrong for him to appreciate that if he's not expecting or demanding it?

[NewsReader]

Of course not. How could it be wrong to appreciate that?

[Mgtow1990]

No I mean every man wishes they could find a virgin

[Jamie05rhs]

No; there's nothing wrong with that. But as we've all said before, if you aren't expecting him to do the same for you, then it doesn't really mean as much.

[hafinjun]

I'll second that

[Jamie05rhs]

@hafinjun Thanks

[bamesjond0069]

No. Its very right! If he didn't appreciate it greatly he is a morally corrupt man.

[Hulk30]

for me it's about the woman and personally i prefer used cars over new ones

[hafinjun]

Love it, well said, abit of a demeaning comparison but love it

[jengeorge26]

Yes I think that it’s a great idea

[jengeorge26]

I admit that I am a slut and guys want a virgin so it’s difficult to find a boyfriend to make a commitment.

[Asker]

I can't believe my eyes.
Lol
Did you say that?

[jengeorge26]

Yes I said that lol 💃I am a stripper/ Topless dancer

[ethanallen]

I love older strippers. For me, it is more realistic of the kind of women I actually have sex with so I am more turned on by a 51 year old stripper than an 18 year old stripper. I wish there were more women over 50 in porn.

[Waldoe]

it can be a beautiful thing... many men are afraid of being compared to a womans previous Lovers...

[Asker]

If I were a man I wouldn't want my woman to have touched another man's penis/semen. Imagining her being penetrated or other stuff would gross me out.

[maximumpower]

Not his call.
He either respects her decision or doesn't.

[RuthlessAggression]

How do you know he's your boyfriend if you haven't had sex yet?

[Shy_Steve]

No, Just like it's not wrong if a Girl ignores Shy Guys or Sexually Inexperienced Guys.

[LazerBean]

Nothing wrong with that.

[LazerBean]

When I was a virgin, there was no way I would ever be with a non-version man. Casual sex is retarded. I waited for the right guy, and I waited till he actually committed to me, and I have absolutely zero regrets.

[panamared1]

i never asked any girl i dated, was not my business, if she wanted me to know she would tell me

[Miristheiss]

A wise man would cherish that.

[douglicks]

i was with 3 virgins, one just let me give her oral

[saffoler]

No, but he should be one too.

[Asker]

And if he is not?

[saffoler]

Then you should date someone who is.

[Asker]

Even if I love him?

[saffoler]

Yes. One sided relationships don't work out very well.

[Asker]

Even if we love each other?

[saffoler]

Yes. Like I said one sided relationships don't work out. As guys who have experience will often take advantage of women who don't. Or vice versa if she isn't a virgin and he is.

[Asker]

Will you explain what exactly he can do that is taking advantage of her when he loves her?

[saffoler]

Someone who has sexual experience will try and mold a virgin into their own kinks. Instead of two virgins learning their own kinks together. It typically isn't done out of malice; but out of desire to recreate what they once had.

[Asker]

I don't know how that is virgin specific. It all depends on the person.

[ethanallen]

Two 30 year old virgins meeting and getting married? That is a recipe for disaster.

[Asker]

@ethanallen do you have such examples?

[saffoler]

@ethanallen Unlike a 30 year old virgin and a manwhore? I'll take my chances with fellow virgins any day of the week and twice on Sundays.

[KatherineJ]

Why would that be wrong?

[Guy__]

Only if he himself is an F boy, it is wrong.

[Cubus]

Why would that be wrong?

[JDBSLAOQ]

dont see how thats wrong

[Fuentes]

For ME it's a problem.

[Wubs3000]

No that seems pretty normal

[Chazmatazz269]

Of course not.

[loveslongnails]

Why would it be wrong to appreciate that?

[TallAnon]

Wrong? No. Do I place value in it? Also no.

[Asker]

Why should you? Lol
You don't have a virgin girlfriend

[TallAnon]

I'm single even 😉

[Asker]

I know. I mean you don't have a virgin girlfriend. This still sounds correct

[TallAnon]

And if I did, that wouldn't last long

[Asker]

Her virginity wouldn't last long or your relationship with her?

[TallAnon]

One of the two

[Asker]

Depends on her character

[TallAnon]

Exactly

[TallAnon]

Now I will say, I plan for my next girlfriend to be the one I marry, so I would make sure she's right before she got to be my girlfriend.

[Guardian45]

Not wrong. Why would it be?

[Jouth]

I'm not a virgin, bro.

[Slim57]

Nope I did that with my girl

[Pudsmucker]

Hell yes.

[crmoore]

Of course not

[EaterPeter]

Not wrong.

[Beerluvr]

No it’s not

[fireforeffect]

Not wrong at all.