Boyfriend of 14 months starting to push me away. Asked him if he wants to call it a day as I feel he’s pushing me away. He hasn’t replied yet, why?

[Anonymous]

[Ευδεμονια]

I think he’s really young so his behaviour reflects his age, are you sure to want to have a boyfriend of 14 months old?


Jokes apart I think he’s already decided to call it a day, so he pushed away you. I can’t know his reasons since I don’t know the context of your relationship and how’s your dialogue before the pushing away situation… you can only let him be. If he’s in love with you, he’ll return back and confront to you. If he doesn’t, it means probably he was the wrong one.

[Asker]

I don’t think he’s in love, we’ve both said we’re not there yet but do care for each other.
My gut instinct tells me he’s not over his ex wife despite arguing the opposite. He said it’s him not me. And although that’s cliche I do think there’s something to it.

[Ευδεμονια]

Maybe you’re right. Oh so there’s an ex wife, but seems strange to me things come out NOW after 14 months of relationship…
Oh that’s really clichè, charging ourselves for faults.. it’s an easy way to solve things without discussing them really.

[Asker]

Yeah I agree. I thought that too. I’d rather just know, the worst part is not knowing. And he knows that after what he said he’s been through.

[Ευδεμονια]

Not knowing is always terrible, since you’re in a limbo: you don’t know if it’s your fault or if it’s his mind. And caring for a person that isn’t clear makes you be worried. The only suggestion I can tell you is to completely ignore him… don’t overthink and don’t obsess over things.

[Wise4myage]

Only he knows that answer, so keep pressing him.

[Asker]

I know. Any ideas why he might not be replying yet though?

[Bee-Hatch]

I he pushing you away, or just needing some downtime, and you're not giving him some space?

[Asker]

I’d say pushing away as it’s withholding some affection more than what’s normal. We both have plenty of time away from each other as it’s kinda long distance.