How do I proceed after a perfect date?

[Lilphil123]

I went on a really good date Sunday night. Guy was just all around such a catch. Good job, considerate, great convo, confident but humble, similar interests. Only issue is he is 10 years younger than me (I’m 36 he’s 26) and not sure what he is looking for. Feel like we may be at different stages in life. Also feel like he is just too good to be true. We went to a karaoke spot and he just confidently went up there and sang. I am not like that at all so worried I’m too introverted for him.

I have been single 3 years and have had tons of dates. Just so hard to find someone that the chemistry is there and is just so well rounded. I’ve been having butterflies since the date. He messaged me last night just a casual message. Im pretty sure there will be another date. But I’m just really worried of getting hurt. So used to being rejected after a few dates and getting my hopes up. If we go out again should I ask him his intentions? Would it be weird to say that normally I’d be okay with a casual relationship but I feel like I can already see I would end up getting emotionally invested with him. So if that’s all he wants I would need to move on.

[Changiis07]

I mean you can always ask questions to see where he is at. Maybe don't be too straight forward hat you like him but ask what is he looking etc. That way you know if he is going to be there or just waste your time. Plus if he likes you and wants to get to know you, you will know by his actions. You don't have to be questioning it. Don't get your hopes up but get to know him as a friend to see if you guys do have chemistry, can get along. I mean the first stages are always fun but later you see their true intentions so take it easy and slow

[PeteBy]

Can't really add to that. Changlis07 has said it for me. Excellent advice.

[Changiis07]

@PeteBy thanks! I was at work so I feel I misspelled some words but I hope she understood

[Lilphil123]

Yes thank you! So used to getting my hopes up and also ignoring things that are signs they’re not interested. Last guy wouldn’t message for like 2 weeks. He has been msging every day since we met but not all day. So will give it some time and see how it plays out. By the tone of his msgs it sounds like there will be another date so will make sure to ask him what he is looking for then. Thanks for the help !

[ArrowheadSW]

Wow it sounds like you hit it off well with him and enjoyed his company. I'd say hang out with him and have fun and don't overthink it for now. Just my two cents. Maybe text him or email him and let him know how much fun you had but do it in a light-hearted way. Just a thought.

I'd say maybe only 10-20% of all dates that I've been on, I'd hit it off that well.

[Lilphil123]

Yea he sent me a casual message the next day and have been messaging since then. Hasn’t asked to hang again yet and it seems he is not the best texter. Not sure if it’s because he’s not that interested or that’s how he is? Last message was last night at around 8 and haven’t heard back. He tends to leave messages not read which I think is so strange. So I guess we will see how it plays out !

[ArrowheadSW]

Well, I'd say don't overthink it for now. See how things evolve over time.

[Lilphil123]

Ugh now he has left me unread since Saturday night. Was sending me flirty messages sat talking about our next date but never officially asked. He last message late Saturday night and I responded Sunday morning and now radio silence. I hate this waiting game !! Feels like he just wants casual.

[ArrowheadSW]

Yes it could be that he just wants casual. Sounds like he likes you though!

[Lilphil123]

Do you think I should clarify before going out again or ask what he’s looking for when we go out in person?

[ArrowheadSW]

If you are serious enough to where you are looking for something long term only, and you really don't want to do a lot of dating in the mean time, then you probably should clarify it with him. You very well might be right in that he might just be looking for casual.

[Lilphil123]

Haha well he ended up ghosting me ! I messaged him yesterday A mature message saying I hadn’t heard from him but prefer when people are upfront. He wrote back a really arrogant response that he didn’t want to drag it out if nothing there, maybe he will catch me out one day and that if it’s any consolation I was a great karaoke partner. Just felt very disconnected. Didn’t answer him and deleted !

[ArrowheadSW]

Wow sorry to hear that he answered in that way.

[harrison102]

I think it’s best to find out what he wants now rather then a few dates in, so you find out earlier then later and prepares you for it I guess.

[BarryLiverstone]

Did you move on? Or have more dates

[swettannie]

just be honest and ask him what he want