Trying to start dating in your 30’s?

[Kev9444]

as 31 year old man I have never been on a date or anything, having dealt with social anxiety and extreme shyness I just put all of my focus in to my work as a roofer, as of now I make make good money however I still live with my parents who I pay $450 to every two weeks. I have try to use online dating and it feels more counterproductive than anything and I rarely ever drink so I don’t go to bar or clubbing.
I just don’t know what to do and would appreciate some advice. Thanks

[SueShe]

You are the only one that can help that situation.

In order to have friends or a girlfriend, you must be pro-active and find friends. They will not just pop up in your life without you being involved in the relation. Best is to join a club, take a hobby where you can meet people with similar interests.

If you are good at one specific occupation, then see if you can find a club or place where others meet that share that passion. The rest will just fall automatically into place. Sharing the same interests with a person is always a good start to get to know that person better because you have common grounds.

But you have to work on yourself first. That would include shyness and social anxiety.

You can train your approach, your attitude and expression in front of a mirror for example. Think of what message you want to bring across and rehearse it until you are satisfied. The next step is the most difficult one and that is the one where you have to put in practice what you learned and rehearsed.

But without you wanting and acting upon it, nothing will ever happen. You have to get out of your comfort zone for it to happen. The most important is not to be afraid to fail. If you are rejected, get back onto your feet and try again.

[Kev9444]

Thanks for the advice

[2Wheels]

I can definitely relate with the extreme shyness and social anxiety. 🙋‍♀️
You could go to meetups for hobbies or sports you enjoy. It's a great way to actually meet someone who has similar interests as you.
I know it's going to be tough at first being as you're extremely shy, but just keep going and eventually you'll warm up to the others and start to feel welcome.

For example. I really enjoy motorcycling so I sometimes go to what we call bike meets that get together weekly. There's different ones in each town, so it gives variety.
Plus, being as everyone there also loves motorcycling, checking out someone's bike is a great conversation starter.

Getting out of your comfort zone is super scary, but totally worth it!

[2Wheels]

I don't know why it posted the female emoji. 😄

[Kev9444]

Thanks for the advice

[2Wheels]

You're welcome. You got this!

[Googlemyahoo]

If not online dating try joining some local clubs. Stuff that interests you or just to try out. I’d recommend yoga classes.

In my 30s I was same as you. Working full time living with parents. Never went to bars just worked and in my spare time played games. At certain point I got fed up with my lifestyle and changed.

Joined an online dating platform, started biking getting more active. Eventually met my current wife from online dating. I was nervous about still being with parents she was like so what so am I.

[Avicenna]

You're actually at a good age to be trying to meet someone- you can still date women in their 20s who don't have kids yet. That said, living with your parents is going to hamper you with a lot of women. You're paying your parents a lot in rent, so you could probably afford a small house.

Stay away from online dating if you can- maybe just use it to practice going on first dates.

[Trilinium]

Dude are you me?

I mean not exactly the things you said but I'm kinda similar. Just go on the ol dating app grind, maybe ask any out in rl if they should interest. If they say no who cares, you still managed to try and ask.

You have a full time career going. You're solid in my view

[chicosuave]

I forgot what a date is like. I haven't been on a date in 7 years

[Iron_Man]

Go for it you have a long life ahead of you make something out of it

[Guy13]

Good luck in the dating world