Do unattractive people know they're unattractive?

[Anonymous]

There is a guy who lives in my apartment complex. I met him through a neighbor that is my friend. I figured he was good people since he knows her. Long story short he has my number because we were all talking stocks outside thought it would be cool to continue to convo. Anyways, months later he talks about taking me out , and me cooking for him, and dating him (i ignore these text). No offense but he's not attractive. He's not healthy at all. He's overweight, works 60+ hours a week, his belly is big , there is no wow factor about him.
On top of that he's a cheapskate and liar. He said my employer pays my rent. Then he goes on to say I'm not moving anywhere unless my rent is $900. Like 🤣 what delusional cheapskate world is he in? Second , why does it matter if his job pays the rent like he says? He goes oh oh I know im just cheap. Why be cheap if you don't have to pay the rent like you say. I smell a liar.

Yes , they just don't care

No, they can't see themselves like everyone else can

I sometimes wonder but unsure

[JamesDiaz11]

I always refer back to the social experiment where 20 people (10 men and 10 women) are put in a room with numbers on their head (1-20, only one of each). They have one hours to find the highest numbered person to pair with them. Fairly quickly the highest numbered people realize they have a high number- based on the sheer number of people coming to them (they're not allowed to tell people their numbers), and the low number people realize they have a low number because people avoid them- curve them.

People can be objectively unattractive, but if they get attention from attractive people, they believe they're attractive. For instance, men (even very attractive ones) will sleep with average/ below average women- but not date them. This gives the average/ below average girl the idea that they're attractive. Men can also experience this if they're objectively unattractive, but are popular (e. g. frat boys- I've seen many ugly/ fat guys get attention from hot girls), or rich. He may have the impression that his money gets him attention, or the act of treating hot girls like crap will get them to come to him (which it often does).

[Bluemax]

I would say most are becoming aware of it around your age.

As to why that is, it's a combination of things. Some of it stems from well meaning friends and family encouraging them to believe they're attractive. Some of it (perhaps most of it) stems from an innate predilection we seem to have to avoid painful truths. Some of it stems from the idea we perpetuate that confidence will always make a person attractive. This often leads to a lot of confusion in their lives that they are struggling to come to terms with around your age, asker.

Generally, by about the time they reach their thirties, they are aware they are unattractive.

[Bluemax]

It's a curious thing though that most people who claim to be unattractive generally aren't. They are usually average and quite a few are attractive.

[BlueScorpio]

People tend to get the gist someone doesn't find them attractive when their rejected or even told directly to their face they aren't attractive. When I was younger, I sort of realized I wasn't attractive to most boys since I rarely got approached or when most of my crushes didn't like me back. Even as adult I didn't get much attention from the opposite sex until I met my husband.

[EllaNella]

personally most people i knew who felt unattractive were just normal looking & very insecure

the real ugly ones were always very confident in their attractiveness.

[Asker]

That's what I've noticed too

[Anonymous]

Id say so. I wouldn’t consider my self attractive. Im bald, over weight, have multiple health issues. Some causing the others. I think in my younger days i was oblivious to it. These days I accept it and just keep ok keeping on. There is more to life then how many women want (or dont want) me.

[nawtee_me]

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder... what is unattractive to some may be very attractive to others. Have you not seen some couples that look like they do not belong together (how could she be with that or how could he be with her) and yet to them they are a perfect match...

[EaterPeter]

Some of them do know and very conscious about it.

Some of them are very ignorant about it and arrogant on top of that.


Some uses it to hide there seekness or unhappiness. As they know they don't look good but they keep telling themselves they look good and it works for them until they find the cure.

[EaterPeter]

Sickness *

[OlderThanILook]

The real question is why would anyone feel the need to be attractive when the world is of people like you? I would rather be drawn and quartered than put in any effort to impress you lmao

[Asker]

Unfortunately, makes no sense

[Dinklex3]

Just because you think they're ugly doesn't mean everyone thinks they are.

Some people think I'm ugly, some people think I'm beautiful. I'm sure it's the same for you.

[Avicenna]

Well, being unattractive is about more than looks, but a lot of people have taken cues from others and are aware that they aren't attractive to them.

[Rockstarrrrr]

Lmao 😂.. well, not everyone is self aware and even if they know they're unattractive they gotta have confidence to make up for it plus they can hit on anybody because they have nothing to lose lol

[dustybiker]

Only the insecure find faults in other people. It’s all they look for.

[Grubhub]

Some do some don’t. Most people do because if you’re unattractive you’re gonna get treated like shit by most people. Most humans are scum bags. But occasionally you’ll find some sweet hearted individuals

[Moonshae]

Probably not. He probably thinks he is a real catch.

[TroyDT]

Outer beauty fades. Or as Amanda Shaw sang, "Pretty Runs Out." Unfortunately inner ugliness usually remains.

[SmokinAces2000]

Attractiveness is subjective although people who aren’t necessarily conventionally attractive may lack self awareness

[maximumpower]

Yes. Its not that they don't care, but if they can't do anything about it, then most move on.

[Asker]

🤣 I'm sorry this made me laugh

[maximumpower]

Not everyone is hung up on looks.

[Asker]

You've gotta read the post. It covers an array of unattractive. From lack of honesty, him not caring about his health which affects his appearance

[SupremeWarlord]

There's no one unattractive, and I am the most attractive person on the planet.

[clampfan101]

It’s impossible because unattractive is an opinion.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t need to see a picture of you to read this post. 🙄🤦‍♂️

[zagor]

Harvey Weinstein didn't.

[20yearsolder]

Yes most of us do