It hurts me when my boyfriend has fun without me?

[Anonymous]

The title sounds bad, I know, but hear me out. I would never tell him any of this, I know full well that this is my problem. I am paralyzed with fear that he realizes that he doesn't need me, or worse, that he's better off without me. I don't think he needs me, and I genuinly feel like a huge burden sometimes. When he tells me he loves me, I don't believe it. I believe he thinks he does, but I don't think he realizes who he loves. I'm a mess. I know, I should get professional help...

[NamerOfStars]

Well, if you think this is more about you feeling unnecessary, and less like FOMO (they're unrelated, but definitely NOT mutually exclusive), then it seems to me what you should do is start doing fun things you'll both enjoy with him. I'm sure sex springs immediately to mind, but I actually mean beyond that. I mean, yes, he CAN enjoy life without you, as you can without him; it's not about being a requirement, it's about making each other's lives BETTER.

So talk to him about trying some new things that you think you both might like: going through the local botanical garden, or starting a garden of your own (if your circumstances allow). Your library probably has a BUNCH of events you could go to together. Go to a wine and painting class (if you're both old enough), or look up local volunteering opportunities you could do together (that may seem like an odd choice, and it is, but it often feels good to do good, and it's something a lot of people don't think of trying).

Not everything you try will work out well, but not only is variety the spice of life (you might find something YOU like, even if he doesn't), but bonding through new experiences can really help bring you together, and if it's something that you KNOW he wouldn't've tried without you suggesting it, you can take even more comfort in knowing you directly made his life better.

[J2ohhhhh]

Most man literally just need you not to bitch on him. Most common female trait is bitching, so someone who isn't bitching is quite valuable. Women suck at entertainment and creating fun anyways. Just don't neg him and complain and do silent treatment and other insecure immature shit and he'll never leave you. I'll refund your membership fees if he does.

[Hanrej]

If you're a burden on him and he stays... He loves you. Take a deep breath, believe what he says and think on how you can grow to the point that you can be more than a burden.