What am I supposed to do? am I doing the right thing? going back?

[bruh1998]

my ex and i broke up because of long distance. the breakup was agreed by both parties so we had no bad blood between us, it was a clean breakup. thats what makes it sad. in the relationship though most of the time i was doing the most effort. she can't exactly officially announce to her family she had a boyfriend (me) at that time because her fam is very conservative, but we still did dates and hung out.

4yrs later my she asked me if i wanted to get back together. I don't know what to do if i should go back. i mean it's fair to give it another shot right? im just afraid im going back to the same thing.

[SueShe]

What makes you believe that much has changed in 4 years?

If it did not work out 4 years ago, chances are it will not in 2022. Give the lady her freedom and do not play her game. You will only regret it.

Long distance relationships (and short ones as well) seldom work out and yours seems to fit that category. Why do you want to torture yourself a second time and have to go through you went the first time.

Be wise and learn from your mistakes, even if it hurts you. You will not be happy knowing that you still have this risk that the long distance relationship may fail. Furthermore, a lot has happened in 4 years and while you may still be the same, what proof do you have that she has changed or that her parents have made a 180 degrees change in their opinions and that they are less conservative today?

[bruh1998]

thats a good point
and I've asked some friends too and the average message is about communicate stuff first with her.

ill add a bit more info
despite i was the one giving more effort than her she does give some effort of her own way since she's a bit conservative and shy

[Missgingles]

Yeah why not? I mean you broke up because of long distance. Not because of anything else. If you have the ability to see each other now then ofcorse. It doesn't hurt to try.

[bruh1998]

nope we dont she still mainly lives in another country and i gotta do college stuff and apparently i heard she gonna visit because of some family event

[Missgingles]

Well I'd still give it a shot if I were you. It won't hurt to try it

[darline19]

run, don't turn back.

[bruh1998]

why?

[darline19]

you want to repeat same mistake?

[bruh1998]

4 years is a lot of time. she might have more freedom

[bruh1998]

despite i was the one giving more effort than her she does give some effort of her own way since she's a bit conservative and shy
im not against your opinion i just want to debate on it to convince myself on whatever's gonna be the conclusion

[darline19]

being conservative and shy aren't the issue, the issue is , are you able to travel just to see her? if not, forget it. since you keep mention about her being conservative and shy, I guess you're only want to eat her pie.

[bruh1998]

well im not gonna deny not wanting to eat her pie because who doesn't want to bone their crush?
no to travel at the moment, but it isn't exactly the issue. my issue is why should i get back with her? or why shouldn't i get back with her?

[darline19]

ask yourself..

[Wise4myage]

Give her a chance and see how it goes.

[bruh1998]

i forgot to add that we still live in different countries. so she might want to try the LDR again.

[Wise4myage]

Id still try, at least you will know.

[Guy13]

Why not...

[Guy13]

I would get a physical just in case for diseases etc BUT I am fairly conservative. Slowly rather than fast. Sit down and meditate on the past "problems, issues, and complaints". Reread old communications. AND know the basic personality has not changed. This make sense?

[bruh1998]

it does makes sense, i forgot to add to the detail that we still live in different countries

[Guy13]

Oh well that is most interesting. That makes it even more challenging. Ever thinking of going to same countries and living etc...

[bruh1998]

not yet I've got college to finish

[Guy13]

Oh, I see and then first job. Concentrate on the right things ;-)

[bruh1998]

if you were in my situation would you get back with her? considering ldr

[Guy13]

I would not just because it will likely become an obligation. Life gets in the way but drop a line once a month or like one week of texting to catch up a month.-sure.

[bruh1998]

that actually helps. we dont have to get back right now but we can wait and keep things friendly

[Guy13]

Yep, that would be my Plan...