How can a woman not come across too desperate but enough to find love?

[Justneedtokno]

A lot of men get upset when a woman is too needy but also gets upset if a woman doesn’t need him what is a good balance

[hahahmm]

If you give the guy the impression that you are open to trusting other dudes more than you trust him it sends the message that you aren't relationship material or that you're still on the market. This is obviously a problem if your boyfriend thinks you're in a relationship with him. So being too independent is basically kryptonite for a healthy relationship.

And yes, I realize that if a guy has not earned your trust then you're likely not to trust him but hey, messages matter. Imagine if your boyfriend had a hot woman sitting in his lap while claiming he's not cheating. Similar to you not needing anything from your boyfriend.

That said... if you just met a guy and you expect him to act like you're married or like you've proven you're loyal for 3-5 years, you're nuts. And you will come across as a stalker. Same for if you act like the guy can't even walk a block away without you freaking out and feeling lonely.

Anyhow, I would guess that if you are really into a guy things will just work out naturally. Problems happen when you try to force things or if you have too much baggage.

[hahahmm]

And a woman needing a guy to give her advice on car repairs or to fix her car isn't "too needy" because 98% of women have zero interest in cars. It's a guy's thing. On the other hand, if you act too dumb to change a roll of toilet paper or to use a door lock, that's "too needy". It might even be cute/sexy if you're a really hot woman & the guy is just having a very shallow thing with you. But it's not something that makes dudes want to be in a relationship or take you seriously in my opinion.

[Jamie05rhs]

@hahahmm. I agreed with everything you said in your main post until I got to the last paragraph. Nothing ever "works out naturally" when it comes to relationships. It takes effort.

[hahahmm]

@Jamie05rhs You could be right.. or another take is that most people are not really into anybody so their relationships fail. No I did not think of that until after reading your response. But yes, thee's certain rules of behavior that make relationships more or less successful & as society has more people in it who don't believe in responsibility/obligations the rate of relationship failure climbs.

[VIVANT]

I agree with this

[Jamie05rhs]

@hahahmm
"or another take is that most people are not really into anybody so their relationships fail."
Hmm. Well, there is some truth to that. Those who a) aren't seeking true love b) don't believe in it or c) don't believe they deserve it probably aren't really going to even allow themselves to truly fall in love with anyone or invest emotionally and mentally in anyone. And so they will never have a successful relationship, because they don't have the ability to bond.

[Jamie05rhs]

" But yes, thee's certain rules of behavior that make relationships more or less successful & as society has more people in it who don't believe in responsibility/obligations the rate of relationship failure climbs."

Even not just following the "rules.". But having expectations and preconceived notions about how another person should be and act and speak and what it means, and living your life based on those assumptions. Rather than talking to them.

[Jamie05rhs]

But yes, a lack of belief in commitment/loyalty is certainly a huge problem as well.

[hahahmm]

@Jamie05rhs In my experience, when I talked to learn what she believed, it ended up being that she believed in having as much freedom as possible which was contrary to a good relationship. When I learned to talk, I would emphasize what my expectations AND obligations were. Suddenly she's top shelf material in her behavior. Hmmmmm! Just my experience.

[Justneedtokno]

@VIVANT definitely makes sense to me

[AmeerX]

I don't think any man would like a too needy women but if a girl doesn't show she is interested in him through hints then it is not going to work.

There is just a sweet spot. And definitely being too easy by sharing nudes and stuff will never ever work for a family guy. If she showed skin to one she will to others. So don't do that. But at try to use more verbal and nonverbal hints like asking for help. Try to connect. Write letters and stuff

[Justneedtokno]

Well, not needy in that type of way because obviously I do everything for myself

[AmeerX]

Then just tell him you like him.

[VIVANT]

If a guy think you’re separate for liking him and not playing games run. he’s not the right guy and it can f*ck hp your ability to communicate properly with the right one. No one who is serious about a relationship uses nebulous teens like clingy or needy. If they are for real they will discuss their own boundaries- which is constructive and doesn’t tear down Anyones spirit. Not throw around insults- which is not productive and eats away at peoples ability to trust. Adults don’t insult people to make themselves feel good. Some adults look grown but are actually snot nosed spoiled kids.

[VIVANT]

Desperate not separate

[Sixgunsound]

Be willing to say and accept no as an answer. If you are ok with walking away, you are a powerful and dangerous person.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Needy and clingy is good if he already knows he likes you.

[Berethor]

Show some interest but not be too obsessive about it.

[Stevefiveo]

You don't need to change, you just have to find a guy that appreciates you.

[VIVANT]

🛎 🛎🛎🛎💯 ☝🏼

[Jamie05rhs]

There's no such thing as a woman being too needy. I'd he likes you, he likes you. If he doesn't, he doesn't.

[hahahmm]

Respectfully disagree. If the guy is also needy to an equal degree than it's okay because from both of their perspectives it works. But people seldom stay in sync like that forever. One person is likely to feel less needy and then the other person is seen as a stalker. Stalkers are bad news.

[Jamie05rhs]

@hahahmm My argument is that if I like a woman and I want to be with her, then her trying to be with me is never a negative. It means I'm getting my wish!!

[hahahmm]

Honestly, I think OP used several different meanings of 'needy' in her post and I just randomly picked which ones to respond to & maybe you did too :)

[Jamie05rhs]

@hahahmm Possibly :)

[FilmGuy93]

A lot of women seem desperate when they become super forceful with the men in their lives.

[Justneedtokno]

Yeah, this is why I try not to get too involved. Annoying you don’t want me there makes it even worse.

[VIVANT]

What do either of you mean by forceful?

😂 I feel like I’m in a completely different universe. People keep responding with very vague terms and even when they explain it it still seems very vague to me. I have no idea what they are referring to but everyone else seeks totally clues in 🤷🏻‍♀️

[FilmGuy93]

@VIVANT A woman is being forceful when she’s doing things like pretending to trip so she can fall into your arms, and when she “just so happens to run into you” everywhere.

[VIVANT]

Hmm the tripping is is odd but I don't know if it’s desperate it’s just weird.

And as for randomly showing up, honestly I’ve he we had a guy not pretend to naturally show up where I was in the beginning it’s kinda normal I don’t find it off putting. It’s cute tbh 😊 I think there’s a diff between just being excited about someone and being desperate. You can have a bunch of people into you and still only look forward to seeing one bc you like them 🤷🏻‍♀️
Life is beautiful sometimes and it’s nice to just be in that space.

If they did it all the time yeah I guess that’d feel weird but I think doing it a few times early on is probably normal bc we’re excited to see someone we have feelings for. I think unless you don’t like the person you wouldn’t find this annoying but that’s me. Thank you for explaining 😊

[NathanDavis]

the best way to not come as desperate to find love is... do not be desperate

[Heolurt]

Just be a female, guys are always swimming around you like sharks just be smart about who you let in and don't be too picky.

[Justneedtokno]

Trust there no guys around me

[Heolurt]

They're there you just don't see them because you don't want to see them.

[Justneedtokno]

No, I mean seriously there are no guys literally not talking. I’m not in my area. I’m not even on social media like no

[Heolurt]

Well it sounds like you don't actually want to meet someone, if you're not going to make any effort.

[Justneedtokno]

I make an effort address well then I’ll take care of myself the people that approach I just don’t want that type of attention so I have taken a step back from social media

[Anonymous]

I never upset from girls behaviour...
Because I know girls. 😊

[EaterPeter]

Impossible for men and women

[EaterPeter]

Thanks for like!

[msc545]

Make him need YOU

[Justneedtokno]

Hmm?

[BLP11520]

Yes they can