Is it hard for a woman to find love for the first time ever in their late 40´s?

[Anonymous]

When I mean first time I mean really first time as at that age most men and women have alrady settled families have already relationship experiences, , kids or grown up kids, so it is highly unlikely a woman that age will find s single guy who is not taken and if she does is either with families or divorced, and that woman wants a guy who is not committed, totally single to avoid problems if that woman run into a man at that age who is committed or families, etc etc

Is it the same for a woman to find love late in life than a men late in life?

There is a lady friend who is 47 and she has never really being loved or she has not also had love a guy before. She is single, never been married or engaged or any of that before and no kids. For her age for obvious biological reasons she ruled out having kids but also at a certain age a person dont have the energy or patience anymore as if they were younger to raise kids or much less babies. So having kids is out of the question for this friend much less to get involved in a serious relationship cause that leads to marriage and marriage she does not want to now as almost formally dating leads to marriage.

My friend had always had the worst luck in the love/romance/affection field in her life. Back when she was much younger in her 20 or 30´s or even early 40´s, she never really experienced the dating phase any man or woman goes through at soem point in our lives. So she lacks of that kind of experience with 0 guys in her life. The reason she had never had boyfriends, dates in her past, noone of that happened in her life, she was never pursued either by guys when she was much much younger, she was a really shy lady who always were embarrassed to pursue guys, she was always of the idea or raised that guys should do the chasing if they were interested., if they did not make a move first it meant they simply were not interested period.

So that is what happened cont...

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to this friend when she was much younger and as she was growing up as well.

My friend is clear that current times are different so she does not mind casually dating with soemoen she does know of course, not strangers as part of experiencing something she never went through when she was much younger, this is part of life she says.

But my poor friend not even casual had been successful to her now. She met a guy for the first time just 4 years ago (she lost her virginity to him at 47 just last Dec

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also single but with never the intention of marriage or having something serious or formal, she was fine with it as she did not want to marry either.

They did go out on a few dates even had sex twice and the dates were always great But after 4 years of knowing the guy who gave her signals he was also interested, he kind of ghosted her just 3 weeks after their last date who was super great between them, this happened 4 months ago. She says she was born to be single as at her age now is harder.

[Berethor]

Not having much experience as a woman is not much of a issue, many men prefer women who didn't been with many other men, or didn't been with other men at all, AKA virgins, at least as long as the woman don't use her inexperience as an excuse for not having sex, especially if she is no longer a virgin. A smart woman should try to secure a man when she was much younger than 47, secure him with common children and marriage, secure a man with just sex is much harder. It's usually much harder for a woman to find someone at the age of 47, men tend to prefer to date younger women, both because men tend to care about their date's look more than women, and because women at those ages lose the ability for having an biological children. A woman at the age of 47 who find a man that is not taken, divorced and looking/agreeing for a serious relationship? yea good luck with that.

[ecfresh]

Would suggest she starts small and not aim for love in the short term. Male companionship or even friendship is much more likely than falling in love this year. Love could come at any time but sounds like in general she needs some experience hanging out and having fun with a guy. That’s a lower expectation than looking for love.

[Asker]

Mayeb you are right not really love as love is a much higher expectation but for what she told me theh only experience she had with this guy was not even love it was like some sort of friendship, having fun and hanging out ike you just pointed but not even that was a success for her so she feels down that not even the simplest thing worked for her and she ain't getting younger you know. and the guy she talks about is like her age too.

[ecfresh]

One of my friends had a similar experience with a guy. Never really loved him but he was a companion for almost 2 years. I can see how frustrated she must feel and how that’s not viewed as successful for her but now is the time for her to find another guy and again shoot for a close friendship. Just having someone reliable to go out to eat with or spend time going to weekend activities would really boost her confidence and get her out into society. You are a good friend for encouraging her, maybe you can be her ‘wing woman’ and go to random events like free poker at a local bar or a radio station promo to meet some men.

[Asker]

I mean the guy ghoster my friend after knowing him for 4 years, he ghosted her 3 weeks after they had a great date that even included sex and this was just 4 months ago. They never had any issues before even if they knwo each other casually and that is all, as they do nto even hang out as a couple or bf/gf cause they were not even that.

[ecfresh]

That’s terrible, I am sure she was left feeling empty and longing. Hard to pick yourself up when abandoned. 4 years is a long time to not even say goodbye. Hopefully she will recover and find another guy to fill that need in her life.

[Asker]

As far as my friend told me she does not really have like a big group of friends to hagn out, I never knew she had male friends to go out occasionally and the female friends she has the closest ones are married women with families so is kind of hard to set up to hang out with her female friends and settle schedules she hangs out with her female friends sure but not for the purpose of meeting guys all, she is the only single out of them, They meet for coffee and house get togethers.

In fact she tells me that when she has to do some errands lets say to a mall or something she always by herlself she has noone to ask really to hang out at her time and she does not have a car either, casue as beign singel she has more free time than other friends of her who are married.

[Asker]

Yes she feels kind ofl let downas for her it was her first first experience with a guy at 47. A guy she felt very attracted with and the guy also made her beleive he was attracted to so she just follow his signals as it had never happened before. SHe lsot her V card to this guy because she told me "It was the first guy I really had been this attracted to, the first guy I felt like going forward and being intimate with him because no other guy I had met in the past like a friend or soemthing I had felt this way just with this guy, he awaken my needs, the reason I decided to loose my V card with him cause I never knew if as the tiem goes by I will ever loose it so late in my life" but also I liked being in his company and we had a good time together joking etc

They even were making plans to see each other at a local Easter trip she was going to go and the guy was invited by her male cousin,.

[Berethor]

Why would a man leave a woman who he has known for 4 years and lost her precious V card for him? you sure that you telling us the full story? and that the woman didn't done someone that greatly upset the man? so she lost her V card for him only because she was attracted to him and because she thought that it's her last chance in her life for being intimate with a man, anyway even though she say that it was only a friendship, it was clearly more than that for her, and that she wanted him to stay around, even though it was hard to her to admit it.

[Asker]

@Berethor You have to ask the guy why he would leave a lady who he he wanted to have sex with since he met her 4 years back and she was willing to loose it with hi, m, because it was a mutual thing. I dont know if all guys behave the same but each man is different. Mayeb he found other things to focus in his personal life. As far as I know, or the lady told me she did not did anything to upset him, I mean otherwise the guy would had said something to her but the guy had never mentioned her anything about something that he was upset with her. if there was something or anything, so how could she know if she did not do anything if the guy was not vocal with her?

For her it was like casual friendship because the guy also did not want any formalities or seriousness and the girl knew about it and she also agreed, you know wth emeaning of casual friendship

Something happened in the guy that he changed his mind towards her but the lady did not know what it was, he never was vocal or he is a big coward.
They both were in good communication terms just 3 weeks before he blocked her from his Whatassp and stop communicating with her and ghosted her.
He never explain or anything what went wrong.
Ghosting is a terrible thing, I believe the guy should had eben more honest

[Berethor]

Well it's girls who tend to behave in such a way, not guys, so you might be right for calling him coward, unless the guy was just looking for a one-night stand, but I don't think that it's the reason in that case. Guys don't always talk about what upsets them, so if he didn't said anything still doesn't mean that her behavior didn't upset him. You say that they had great date that included sex, but you didn't said if the sex itself was great, and the quality and quantity of sex is something that tend to be very important to men. The last time that they had sex was 4 months ago? it sounds like a lot of time, even for a casual sexual friendship. A man is very unlikely to cut a sexual relationship with a woman for the same of focusing on something not sexual, it's not how men tend to operate, so looks like she upset him very much to the point that he don't want to talk with her anymore and/or he started an sexual relationship with other woman. Maybe your lady friend has taken their casual sexual friendship too unseriously, to the point the the guy has started to lose interest, and started to look for other lady for that.

[Asker]

@Berethor Why guys do not tend to behave in such way? For me the guy was a immature coward, especially when the guy and the lady are not strangers and he behaved in such way to her.
My friend says and do not judge her and defend that GUYS are like that, think about also and put yourself in the women shoes before you say that men are just like that. They had sex twice, the last time they did was in March after they had lunch together and enjoy their times at the lunch, talking and having a conversation. That day in particular my friend had her period. She was not expecting her period to arrive that parricular day as she was expecting it to arrive one week later But she did want to meet with the guy still that day as they had been postponing the encounter fro like 3 moths so she did not mind to have her period that day. But she was embarrassed t tell the guy about her period as for him it could had been a turn off.
She told the guy about her period after the lunch and once she was in his apartment (but before the sex took place). The lady even brought a sexy baby doll she wanted him to see her on because he asked her weeks before he wanted to see her in that. So she pleased him in showing herself to hi in the sexy lingerie but it seems the guy wanted to focus more on the intercourse that day rather than to see her in the lingerie as it seems he wanted everything to be a bit fast. That is no fun. Sex is about many things foreplay, intercourse seduction, sex is not just Intercourse and penetration, sorry if you believe otherwise.

[Asker]

@Berethor So the guy did not enjoy to have period sex, and this is HIS fault not hers. So for him the sex was not very enjoyable because he was not into period sex. I know many guys like period sex but this guy in particular did not like it. For the lady it was not also that enjoyable because she did not like she had her period that particular day they decided to meet, she felt uncomfortable having sex with her period on, and he did not like to have it either so much. So they did not have sex that long it was something fast. Also the guy did not give her oral sex as well, like I said he di dnot like period sex either intercourse or oral.
Maybe it was something disappointing in some way to the guy but to the lady it happened the same. Maybe the guy did enjoy it a little bit but she doubts about it. He never went vocal to her saying he enjoyed it a lot. He asked her after that quick sex if she enjoyed it she told him Yes.
The thing is that days passed after that and even if he seems to be disappointed he did seem he did not mind that and even told her that he was going to grab her good and had sex with her during a local Easter family trip they were both going weeks after this date.
The guy did not go to the Easter trip because he was told at work he had to go to work those days.
The thing is that after they had lets say some sex 3 weeks after that the guy blocked her from his Whataspp did not tell her why he did that and then more days after he simply seems he had ghosted her, one again no explanation from him to her of what he did that,

[Asker]

@Berethor Let me be clear on you the guy did not like to have period sex. some men do but not this guy so dont defend that all guys like that, not all

[Berethor]

Looks like a combination of multiple things to me, the last sex that they had clearly not sounds great, to say the least, and that was after the guy has waited for 3 months, it's makes his disappointment much greater, so there was nor quality and quantity, and like I said, sex tend to be very important to men, and yes the main thing that is important to men is the intercourse/penetration, so if it's bad, then it's can be an serious issue. At that point there is no doubt that he mind that, even if he was not showing that, and your lady friend was not fast enough with trying to fix the bad impression from the last time that she had sex with guy, waiting for additional 3 months was an bad idea, at that point that guy's level of interest was starting to become very low. What you mean by? "after they had lets say some sex 3 weeks after that the guy blocked her from his whataspp".

[Asker]

@Berethor Like I said and you better see this from the women point of view. As guys do not seem to understand about periods and just are selfish. How could the lady fix her period sex if her period came unepxected the day , her period was supposed to arrive the following week not precisely the week they schedule to meet.

That is what I meant the guy blocked her from his mobiel Whatassp contact list just 3 weeks after they saw each other, he did not give her any rason for hi to do that, never explain anything, And the odd part is that when he blocked her they were texting to each other on the phone and he was behving nice to her, including they were talking about seeing each other probably at the Easter trip 2 weeks after. So why the guy ghosted her suddenly and block her just like that
What you mean by? "after they had lets say some sex 3 weeks after that the guy blocked her from his whataspp".

[Berethor]

I didn't said that she can fix her period, I said that she would tried to fix the bad impression from the last time that she had sex with guy much sooner, and not waited for another 3 months for that, in other words your lady friend should had meet with the guy again much sooner, before he totally lost interest in her.

[Asker]

@Berethor The lady did not meet with the guy again after the kidn of bad sex because he blocked her and ghosted her weeks after so what was the point in trying to fix things when he seem to had ghosted her? He never gave her an explanation why he ghosted her

[Berethor]

Yea after he already ghosted her there is no much that she could has done, only before that she had a time to try to raise his interest in her, after the last time that was not great.

[Asker]

@Berethor hiw can she coudl raise his interest if he seem t had ghosted her?

[Berethor]

She had 3 weeks before he ghosted her? why didn't try to meet with him sooner?

[Asker]

@Berethor Ok this is how things went more or less. Let me do this in chronological order in time.

1. In March they had sex for the second time (the first time was in December of last year) but first they went out to a lunch date that day, and during lunch they had a good time and he shared to her sime future projects he had on his own at work. She even invited him at lunch, After lunch finished, The guy asked her what she wanted to do afterwards and ask her if she wanted to go to his place which she agreed (even if she had the period but she did nto tell she had her period at lunch she waited to tell him that once she was at his apartment)
They went to his place, she gave him a BJ she shwoed her her baby doll, she mentioned him the period issue, he did not like period sex but he did it anyway But she was also not very comfortable her period came precisely that day.
He asked her if she enjoyed the sex after they had it and she told him yes, maybe he did not see her that convinced but like I said she was not comfortable either her period ame unexpected that paticular day.
2. So the weeks passed after March and they went on their normal lives as individuals of course they both were hopefully planning to see each other again 3 weeks after the sex they both had, during this local Easter trip that was going to take place 3 weeks afer they saw each other. So there was no reason to see each other again after the sex if they were supposed to see each other again in 3 weeks anyway.

[Asker]

@Berethor After they had sex one day after. the lady textd him to comment of what happened the day before and he texted her she enjoyed his company as usual, and that she always liked him to kiss her and touch her softly and him touching her boobies and undress her, and that she looved his body But she felt sorry he could not lick her due to her period. She texted him that one day after the sex and the lunch date.

So im those 3 weeks after the sex and lunch date of not seeing each other, the guy texted her one day to tell her he was coming to the trip (he was not sure in the beginning) with the ladys cousin ( it was a family trip remember) and in that text he told her "he was going to eat her deliciously". So far here the guy still seem interested right?

The lady replied him that text like 2 days after and here the odd things started. She told him it was good he was finally coming and added some other stuff she did not remember. Then she asked him when he was arriving to the family house for the trip. He told her he did not know (the guy was going with the ladys cousin, as a guest) and then he added: "We will see or hear each other", so she replied to him "Ok we will see or hear each other"
Immediately after she text those sentences, the guy blocked her from the app Whatassp on his mobile. Dont tell me this is an weird behavior? I mean just like that he blocked her no explanantion not anything.

[Berethor]

So she mentioned that she have period only after she gave him an blow job? why she waited so long to tell him about that? and did she hope that a blow job would be enough for him? which was clearly not the case, especially after an 3 months that he didn't saw her, she might got been his girlfriend, but it's not a good idea to keep a guy waiting for so long, after she has already started her sexual relationship with him. Like I said it was an combination of multiple problematic things. There was no reason to see each other again before 3 weeks has past? there was an reason, your lady friend should has tried to meet the guy as soon as she can, because he was starting to lose interest.

[Asker]

@Berethor So after he blocked her there she kind of believe he lost interest just like that so no reason for her to contact him any more or set anything with him anymore either to see eahc other but maybe he had hped he will see him again at the trip 2 weeks after his blocking, at the end the guy never went to the trip but neither the ladys cousin went either. The guy did nto go as he was told by his boss he had to stay at work working those days. This happened in mid April. The lady even try and hope to see him again when she invited him to assist to her birthday in Mid April but the guy never replied to her invitation.
So this was in Mid April and after this they guy or the lady stopped contacting each other: i mean he blocked her and he kind of ghosted her so whey she would try to see him again soon like you said to fix things if it seem he had no interest in communicating with her anymore. He ghosted her no explanantion to why or what happened.

[Asker]

@Berethor let me tell u a guy ant loose interest in 3 weeks 3 weeks ia short time They were not in a relationship in order to hang out sooner than 3 weeks like they were a bf/gf. Liek I said they were going to see eahc other again at the trip why they need to see once again before the trip if they alreayd saw each other 3 weeks before at his house. It was jsut 3 weeks anyway they were not seeing each other not 6 mos or something.

[Berethor]

It looks like at some point the guy has start to be sarcastic with the your lady friend. Yes at that point it could be almost impossible to make the guy talk with your lady friend again, and how she knows about his boss? again it don't really matters if they was an boyfriend and girlfriend, many friends and friend with benefits see each other more often than that as well, and your lady friend knows that the last time was not going well, so she needed to try to meet with the guy again as soon as possible to try to raise the guy's level of interest that was getting very low.

[Asker]

@Berethor for u 3 weeks is a long time not seeing each other? She did not want to look desesperate and why the guy was sarcastic?
Understand this they were going to see each other eventually at the trip 3 weeks after they had sex again, why they had to see each other before thsoe 3 weeks I dont see a reason to see eahc other 3 weeks before and besides the lady was not expecting the guy block her or ghosted her just 2 weeks after they had sex anyway. It was surprise for her.

[Berethor]

Yea 3 weeks is a long time, it's 3 weeks in which the guy was unsatisfied, plus the last time that the guy had sex your lady friend didn't satisfy him, because it was not going well to say the least, so one can say that it was a 3 weeks on top of a 3 month of a guy's unsatisfaction, now you see why the guy might had been very displeased, and you should always keep in mind that sex tend to be much more important for men than for women, so for you it might not seems much, but for men it's very much. The guy could had start acting sarcastic because of how much he was upset.

[Asker]

@Berethor so u blame the lady for her unexpected period? Sorry I disagree, she was also not happy but since he seems to ghosted her 2 weeks after they last had sex there was no reason to go after him, to fix the issue anyway. Why she will force him to have sex just beaue she wanted to fix the things? When a person ghosts another one it seem they are no longer interestd even if they dotn explain why. The girl at this moment does not know the reason the guy ghosted her it could be sex related but it could be other things as well not necesarily sex you know. Not everything revolves abotu sex. He may had encounter with some personal issues that he did not want to share with her and it had nothing to do with sex. But since he never tell her the reason, you can think of many other reasons

[Berethor]

I don't think that the period by itself would had caused that, but a poor sexual meeting in combination of not meeting with the guy nearly enough? yea it's totally can be the reason. How she can force him to have sex? what are you talking about? but she can try to get in contact with him, and tell him that she want to meet with him. Well he is a man, so the issue is most likely involves sex, or lack of sex, as in that case.

[Asker]

@Berethor once again she did not try to contact him anymore because he ghosted her so why the reason to contact if you dont want to be contacted? That is my point.

Ghosting is just fade away with no explanation of anything

[Berethor]

She don't want to look desperate? but maybe it's the only thing that being him back.

[Asker]

@Berethor the only thing that brings him back? if he ghosted her it means something why she then go after him?
I mean probably she will like to see him eventually but she wotn force the encounter as he was the one who ghosted her just 2 weeks after they were in good terms and making plans to see eah cother at the trip,

[ecfresh]

Thanks for the dialogue you two, not the easiest read but think I made it through. Two things:

@Berethor while I agree sex is important I would say the guy ghosted her for another reason. It’s more possible that he met someone else.

@Asker - you know very intimate details about your ‘friend’. I’m going to take a chance and say You are the friend. Am I right?

[Enpassant]

She will never know what can happen until she tries

[Asker]

She had tried before it did not work

[Enpassant]

Well the thing is to keep trying. Anything is possible as long as you dont give up.

[Asker]

my friend says hse is not getting any younger to keep trying and trying to what until she is like 70yrs old or soemthing like that? Unfortnately when she was younger she could have more chance to keep trying and trying

[Enpassant]

Life is too short to have regrets. If she wants to do this then she needs to look now and go for it.

[Asker]

She did look 4 years ago and did nto work she told me but I think she will stay liek she is now single and not even hving a nice dating eperience even if wotn lead to marriage or anything formal

[Enpassant]

All you can do is wish her the best then.

[Asker]

She is a bit bumed beause that guy she entions was his first in everything

[Enpassant]

Well hopefully she feels better soon

[Asker]

I hpe but I doubt she can't understand why the guy ghosted her 4 mos ago

[Enpassant]

Well after 4 months time, she should be looking to move in instead of worrying about someone who changed his mind

[Asker]

I mean she is bummed at the fact that they know for 4 years never had issues between each other at all, they even had sex, then the guy stopped talking to her just 3 weeks after they wotn went out to a lunch date had sex and had a good time and no explanantion of anything

[Enpassant]

Well hopefully she gets over him soon and moves on

[Skydive19]

I’ve just read the title and I’d say never late

[Asker]

Well be glad you are just 19 but a woman in her age she thinks differently especially for what sheh went through

[Skydive19]

But there are men also at her age

[Asker]

yes ther are men at her age but not al men wants to have soem formality not patience at this age for dramas

[Skydive19]

Everything is possible

[Anonymous]

she's been single her whole life? really?

[Asker]

Yup she had been like that always always

[Opinion Owner]

why do you think so?

[Asker]

bad luck guys never approach her or pursue or chase her or felt interesting enough to go after her