Keeping my options open, ...should he know?

[Anonymous]

I just began dating this great guy online (Joe). He is everything that I have been looking for in a guy. He is smart, mature, kind, witty, and just a real gentleman. We went out on our first date last Friday and I thought that we really hit it off. We laughed a lot, held hands while walking down main streets and we talked a lot about our careers and family.

I get butterflies just thinking of him. He called me the next night and said that he would like to go out again this weekend but will call me to confirm a day. But I still have not heard from him yet and tomorrow is Friday.

I also just got asked out by another guy (Chris) from school who seems to have a big crush on me and is a pretty sweet guy himself. I took Chris up on a date this Saturday after he boldly asked me out after class.

I really like Joe but I do not want to put all my eggs in one basket by committing my weekends to him. Should I tell him that another guy asked me out on Saturday if he finally gets around to calling me? Or would that sound like I am playing games if I start telling him about other guys that asked me out? Do guys feel competitive when another guy is brought up, even after a single date, or doe he deserve to know the truth that I am keeping my options open?

[vmw2008]

I don't think you should tell him. He might get jealous, but it can have some pretty negative reactions. Such as, dating other girls to be even or being turned off all together. Date other guys for the reason you stated, you don't want to put all your eggs in one basket. If he asks you out for a night you have another date, just say "i'm sorry I have other plans. How about (tomorrow, etc.)?" You won't have to say a thing and it'll do wonders. He'll probably think on his own that you could be dating other guys but because you didn't throw it in his face he'll put in extra effort if he's interested.

Bottom line, I wouldn't go on another date with a guy that openly told me he was dating other girls. So do what you want and get exclusive with him if he shows interest for a longer amount of time.

[sassysenorita]

you should definitely tell him. if you don't want a relationship right now or you want to date until you make up ur mind then be up front. if he wants a relationship and you don't then it should be made clear or vice versa. think of it this way, would you want to know if it was him dating others and you only dating him? if anything he will respect you that much more for being honest and upfront with him. if you like him that much and he wants to be exclusive then you might want to start weeding out the others. whatever you do just remember to take everyone's feelings into consideration.

[kigirl33]

You don't owe him and explanation. As long as he is not your boyfriend you can do what ever you want! If he hasn't called you yet, just chill don't make dating any more stressful than it has to be. (remember it is supposed to be fun) you went on one date so its not like you are engaged see Chris have fun. Don't play games with him though don't hide it but if he doesn't ask I see no reason to tell.

[faerie]

hey both of you are just dating so no harm done. I think if you don't tell him you're keeping your options open by the third date then it might lead to trouble, but for now you don't have to throw it in his face. Just don't sleep with both of them, that's just not nice. Aside from that you might want to call him on Friday and see if he's still down with getting together or if something's come up.

[nitro3000]

personally I think that it is just messing with his emotions if you go out with the other guy sense you already told joe u'd do something (evenb if he hasn't called yet) you should at least wait until friday night and if he still hasn't called you then I would say its a signal, but if he's as great as you say maybe you should call him. but my opinion is that if you go with the other guy you should be up front with both of them otherwise if they find out they'll just get mad at you and will end up hurt

[mikewnaz]

i think you should just stick with joe. he seems straight forward and into you. tell chris you have a boyfriend but you'll keep his number

[YoungGirlJB]

You should just let him now your true feelings instead of getting caught up in something you don't want to be in. Remember: It was only one date, it's not like you guys are boyfriend and gf.

[Arfoo]

I get turned off, but if I really like the girl I might stick around

but that's just me

[Milkyway]

don't tell Joe!