Why would a guy want to know about your dating life?

[Anonymous]

For example, asking you personal questions about it.

[uncleBobbyb77]

To learn about what you will do and are into and what you won't. Also to have the info necessary to know what box to put you in, friends, funtime/dating, or wife material. He also wants to be reassured you find him satisfying in bed. Be real but not brutal. If he's not open to constructive criticism he's emotionally immature and isn't ready for an adult relationship. Remember you aren't perfect either and have to do more than just be there. Be careful what you divulge but don't lie. What you sat will probably be used against you when he's feeling threatened and vulnerable to you. Again, immature but I'm being real. Age will often help to identify the reason why he wants to know. With older guys there's a greater chance he wants to know your likes and dislikes and knows he probably ain't your first. He wants to know the story of you. What made you who you are today. Younger guys want to know if you put out and how hard they have to work for it. If it's too easy then your not wife material because you value yourself too little. Let him know your worth the effort then be worth it

[Asker]

I appreciate the fact that you took your time to explain everything in detail to me. I was being honest about my relationship with my ex. I mainly spoke about him in a positive way. Although, I did state the reason for our break up and I didn’t speak about it negatively. Everything that he wanted to know about my ex, I told him the truth. He asked me what I liked about him and I told him that I liked the fact that he was caring and understanding and that we were friends at first, helping each other with our homework and then we started confiding in each other and could talk about things with ease and really understood each other because we were both going through something similar and we tried to help each other at the time. I don’t know what his thoughts are on this, but this was the truth. He asked me if my ex was ugly and I said that he wasn’t, but he was a bit overweight and that wasn’t an issue for me because I wouldn’t have dated him in the first place if it was. That’s what I told him.

[Asker]

I’m 22 and I’m pretty sure there is a 10 year age difference between the two of us. He is the one that’s older.

[uncleBobbyb77]

I have to ask do you still talk about your ex often for example "John Doe took me there" or "he and I saw that at the theater"? That sort of thing? Are you and the ex still friends or on speaking terms? The new guy asking if the ex was ugly makes me think one of two things.. he either has a poor self-image or somebody said something negative about the ex when you weren't around. I could be wrong that's just first gut take on that. Without knowing more about y'all it seems to me he's seeking reassurance that your completely over chances of reconciliation with the ex and of his own superiority and desirability. The first I understand and is a justifiable concern if it was a recent separation etc.. the second I also understand but at 32 homie should have grown up a little more than that by now. Seems to hint at narcissistic tendencies. Again I could be way off into left field. I'm working with a woefully incomplete knowledge base but that's first impression

[uncleBobbyb77]

Also did he ask for details about your levels of intimacy etc? If so his tone his wording his body language are all indicative of his reasons for asking. Maybe he's trying not to make the same mistakes the last guy made... that's best case I think. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt until shown irrefutable reason not to. Trust everyone. Don't trust them to be who you think they are. Trust them to be who they are and do what they do. Trust that they won't change who they are because you are you. They might but my experience is that's the exception not the rule.

[Asker]

Not really the intimacy levels, but rather out commitment level. His actions also match his words, by the way.

[uncleBobbyb77]

Hey that's good news then. First off kudos to his following through on things he says with the corresponding actions. This would seem to indicate he's genuine and his deep, personal line of questioning seems to be focusing on first: are you capable of developing deep, and meaningful interpersonal relations and second: if so are you still grounded in reality or are you prone to going way overboard obsessively possessive. He may not have articulated his reasons for asking the questions he has even to himself on a consciously aware level but it's more of an instinctive subconscious understanding of basic harmonic synergies. Basically he is intentionally gauging your ability to commit and are you still committed deep down to your ex. Again hard to verify these things without being able to personally speak to him myself but my read on what you've shared is he's real, he cares and is exhibiting the validity of this sentiment and what his priorities are by taking the time to get to know the real you on an intimately deeper level than most seem willing to put the required effort into doing these days. Men have been disenfranchised with our traditional roles in the family having been effectively canceled which is causing more damage to us as individuals, as family units, our kids and their development not to mention their potentials of the future, and society as a whole than is obvious and self evident to the vast majority. Apparently he still believes the rewards to risk factors are worth putting the work into you. Based on what you've shared I'd say he's a keeper in the longterm sense and I'd not object to him if you were my sister.

[Asker]

Hey. Can I please DM you about this? 🙂

[uncleBobbyb77]

And now I care and I would very much appreciate it if you dropped a line to let me know how things are going for y'all. I'm no expert on these things im just a genuine guy who finds each day more courage and need to help others see the real A person's ability to perceive truth does not change what the truth is and its important to be able to recognize truth and illusion. When you hear that little voice or gut feeling speaking it is usually best to acknowledge and go along with it or there's a good chance you will regret not doing so but be careful to not allow past experiences paint your perception Don't let who you think someone is blind you from the reality. If you are always expecting insult and put downs then even the most uplifting compliments can be misidentified and all of that potential joy in the sharing of life with someone whom gives goodness is not fulfilled because it's not correctly perceived and accepted for its truth and that is an avoidable tragic mistake all too commonly made when people trust others to be who they think they are and never see them for them never make the effort to learn how they express themselves in their own unique way instead believing the other should express their love and intent in the same way they do. Hell instead of heaven. Make the effort to see him for him in the now. show you appreciate him through acknowledgement and reciprocate in your way while learning to read his ways. I'm happy for you. I wish you the patience and strength to make it through the tough times to enjoy the good times. As tough as things are together they are 3xs tougher alone

[Asker]

You have to follow me back. 😊

[Lionman95]

To get to know you better like imagine a situation where a woman has a trauma from a situation where she was attacked from behind. If a guy knows that she had an "unpleasant experience" concerning people that surprise her from behind he probably would avoid trying to hug her from behind.
Or it's generally easier for a guy to be patient with a woman and understand her better if knows about her past experience with guys than a guy that doesn't.
That being said chances are that a guy won't acknowledge her past experience but the chances that he will is higher if he knows.

[mandyfire98]

It could be to learn what you're into, to get an idea about what kind of sex life you'll have together if you're pursuing each other of course. Or it could be insecurity on his part.

[Asker]

That’s funny. He states that he’s confident. Also, just because I had a partner, doesn’t mean we had sex. Also, learn what I’m into as in?

[ohsheeT]

Most of the time it's because the guy's not confident he probably has a little dick and he's afraid that your first partner is better than him so they ask about it till later throw it in your face which is just totally wrong a guy that is confident who he is what he's all about and he really likes you he's not going to ask you he doesn't care because he's with you it's a brand new relationship all the other stuff is past history doesn't even matter

[Asker]

So, you’re pretty much saying that he’s asking about my past relationship because he is insecure?

[Asker]

And feels threatened compared to my ex?

[ohsheeT]

I don't know that for a fact. but yes
There many guys that are insecure about a lot of things there are so many guys that are not confident with who they are they're not confident with their dick size they're not confident with themselves so what they do is they ask about your ex to see if they measure up I mean it's self-sabotage really they're afraid he's a better lover he's afraid that he's their ex is just a better guy so he needs to know and just remember everything that you tell him he will keep it in the back of his head and if he ever gets pissed off one day he will use it against you because he's not only insecure not confident but if he has nothing to argue with you about or you say something to him he will throw up your ex-boyfriend whatever you tell him about your ex so you can either tell him the truth I mean the whole truth or you can lie and baby the guy and say no he wasn't a good lover he wasn't very smart he had a little dick he never even kissed me we never even had sex whatever whatever it's sad that guys have to do this I have never understood it because that's yesterday those days are gone today is today you're with him it's a brand new start he should treat it like that he should treat you like that so this is number one red flag insecure not confident

[ohsheeT]

He also wants to know about him because he will be listening very closely to your ever word because he wants to know who broke up with who and all the reasons you didn't get along and who the crazy or. Who's the jealous one was who started the fights he's trying to also see how much he has to put into the relationship I would say he's probably lazy he wants to see what he can get away with I mean the whole thing is just nothing but a big manipulation and any guy that does all the above I don't think you really want to be with because somewhere down the road is just going to not be worth it but that's the way I see it you can make your own choice just pay attention to the things he says because he will be telling you who he truly is or who he would like to be if the guy lies to you about himself and that means he doesn't really like himself and he has exaggerate to build himself up and that's just ridiculous too because in time it's always going to get found out this is a really good question because for many girls they should actually read all this they would save themselves some heartache

[Asker]

I appreciate the fact that you took your time to explain everything in detail to me. I was being honest about my relationship with my ex. I mainly spoke about him in a positive way. Although, I did state the reason for our break up and I didn’t speak about it negatively. Everything that he wanted to know about my ex, I told him the truth. He asked me what I liked about him and I told him that I liked the fact that he was caring and understanding and that we were friends at first, helping each other with our homework and then we started confiding in each other and could talk about things with ease and really understood each other because we were both going through something similar and we tried to help each other at the time. I don’t know what his thoughts are on this, but this was the truth. He asked me if my ex was ugly and I said that he wasn’t, but he was a bit overweight and that wasn’t an issue for me because I wouldn’t have dated him in the first place if it was. That’s what I told him.

[ohsheeT]

Well to be honest with you I think that is great I think his intentions are good after knowing a little bit more about it let's see what I mean about his confidence if he wants to know if your boyfriend or if your ex was ugly he should know better than that that's kind of a weird question because well it just is that's the best way to start out any relationship is being a friend that is the best part about it I mean a true friend is more powerful than even a lover or or in a relationship because it's true friends you can be all those things with an unconditional love you seeing you can feel things deeper that way and you're more passionate more compassion it's just everything it works out better that way I think you'll be fine for a while and I mean it's none of my business but I just had a flash on something how come you and your ex did break up if you don't mind me asking it's none of my business like I said you don't have to tell me I was just curious

[Googlemyahoo]

If I went on a date with a girl who said she was still going to date others I would have as much fun I could have with her then take her out for an expensive dinner, buy her flowers & then take her home at the end of the night and say thank you.

[Asker]

Bahahaha you would try and lock her down asap as a man, right?

[Googlemyahoo]

Nope. I’d go out and have fun and not worry about it. If you’re dating someone new you’re not just making plans around that one person you’re playing the field.

[Asker]

Exactly. Why get so hung up on one person?

[Googlemyahoo]

Fucking cuckoo for cocopuffs thats why. If they start out that way they’re probably crazy jealous

[Asker]

Hahahahaha that part made me laugh. Probably.

[jshm2]

To know what STD's you might have?

Seriously, joking aside, you need to steer the convo better if these are not comfortable questions.

[FilmGuy93]

Could be just making conversation. More likely it's because he's interested in you.

[Asker]

But the past is the past. Why do you think he cares so much about my past?

[FilmGuy93]

Because the past impacts the present. It's a reflection of who you are. Everyone has traumas and personal baggage from the past that they carry into their current relationship.

[Asker]

That is true. Do you think he’s trying to see if I still have baggage?

[FilmGuy93]

Not if; everyone always has baggage, it's a rule of life. He's trying to see what kind of baggage you have.

[Asker]

I don’t really have any. I just wanted to share what I’ve experienced, considering he asked.

[FilmGuy93]

That sounds like a good approach! Just tell him about where you're at =)

[Asker]

I basically shared my experience with him because he asked me. 😊

[FilmGuy93]

How did he respond?

[Asker]

Pretty positively and then he also shared his experiences with me. I want to know why though. 🙂

[Rockstarrrrr]

This might sound crazy... But I think he likes you

[Asker]

He asked me questions like why did my ex and I break up, what I liked about him, was he ugly, how long we were together for, how long ago it happened and much more.

[Asker]

If I dated after that, pretty much if I am still trying to attract attention, etc.

[Rockstarrrrr]

Lol he's definitely interested in you... Isn't it obvious!

[Asker]

Well he was talking about his ex too, so I don’t know.

[Rockstarrrrr]

It's either he likes you and wants to know more about you or he just likes gossiping which is unusual for a guy lol

[Asker]

He does not like gossiping actually. Lmao

[Rockstarrrrr]

Then he likes you 🤭

[Asker]

Oooo very nice. I hope he’s not just hung up over his ex.

[Rockstarrrrr]

Yeah!

[Asker]

You think he’s not?

[Rockstarrrrr]

I don't know... It could be... Or maybe he just likes to share it with you

[Asker]

That’s another thing that I was thinking. I’m completely over my ex, but sometimes I just like to share my experience.

[noohair]

I would consider that a red flag. He is showing a double standard and it is a control type question. Just my opinion.

[Asker]

Double standard as in?

[noohair]

A double standard is something like, He can screw as many girls as he likes but you can't screw as many guys as you like because you would be a slut, and not considered clean.

[Zolly99999]

Wants to know your body count and how much experience you have.

[Asker]

Just because I’ve dated more than one guy, doesn’t mean I had sex with them. I’m a virgin.

[Zolly99999]

It's just one of the possible reasons he wants to know your dating history

[Asker]

Past dating history shouldn’t matter though, don’t you think?

[Anonymous]

For the same reason women want to know who you've slept with.

[Asker]

Is it a jealousy thing?

[Opinion Owner]

It could be. Some people are driven to jealousy quicker than others. I'm sure it's just downright nominees (women are generally very judgmental). But I'd say a lot of it just wanting to know what they're getting into should a relationship spring up between you two.

[Asker]

I can tell you for sure that I’m not a jealous person. Are you saying that he wants to know about my ex so that he knows what to expect before getting involved with me?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, wouldn't you? I mean if you had a a litany of failed relationships in your wake wouldn't that say a little bit about you?

[Asker]

The past is the past. You learn from it. We aren’t dating, by the way.

[Opinion Owner]

The past is the past yes you're right. But some people repeatedly make the same mistake over again and do not learn from it. That is a concern.

[Asker]

You’re not wrong there.

[maximumpower]

Wanting to see how far you'll go before telling him to get lost.

[Anonymous]

Because he's interested in dating you, lol..

[Asker]

He asked me questions like why did my ex and I break up, what I liked about him, was he ugly, how long we were together for, how long ago it happened and much more.

[Opinion Owner]

He's fishing, lol.

[Asker]

If I dated after that, pretty much if I am still trying to attract attention, etc.

[Asker]

Fishing for? Lmao

[Opinion Owner]

Too make sure you are single.

[Asker]

He knows because I literally said that I’m as free as a bird and can do whatever the hell I want. Lol that’s what I told him.

[AsaKyo]

To see if he has a chance with you

[Asker]

Interesting! What makes you say that? 😊

[Jamie05rhs]

Because he's interested in you.

[Asker]

Interesting! What makes you say that? It’s also about my past dating life as well. 

[Hardworkingguy]

Perhaps if he's insecure. That doesn't matter

[Asker]

That’s funny. He states that he’s confident. What could he possibly be insecure about, you think?

[Hardworkingguy]

Most men don't want a girlfriend with more experience in bed than them.

[Asker]

Just because I’ve dated more than one guy, doesn’t mean I had sex with them. I’m a virgin.

[Hardworkingguy]

I Believe you but most men I've spoken to are narrow minded when it comes to that..

[Asker]

Honestly, even if a girl had more experience than him in bed, that’s not what matters.

[Hardworkingguy]

I agree. I personally don't care about that. If she's got more experience she knows best what she enjoys which can also be good