It upsets me and makes me not want to be with him because that’s not fair. how do you guys deal with it?

[bbhhgirl]

Anytime me and my boyfriend has a disagreement he stops talking to me and no longer responds for the rest of the night or hours.

[SteveSmith1985]

You have good reason to be upset. This is not an acceptable way for a boyfriend to handle disagreements. It's emotionally abusive. It's the withholding of affection as punishment.

I'm not saying "you're dating an abuser, break up with him". (not based only on this).

Nevertheless, this IS emotionally abusive bahavior, and it makes perfect sense that you find it extremely upsetting. You need to have an honest talk about this with him sometime when you're getting along well. You need to explain to him how upsetting AND UNACCEPTABLE you find his way of dealing with disagreements between you two.

If he can't see where you're coming from; or refuses to change... you SHOULD leave him. You're right it's not fair, and you shouldn't continue to put up with it. 🙂

[xJeremyx]

I would beg to differ from what everyone else has said.

It is completely possible that he is doing that to give himself, and you, space to calm down and think things over before re-engaging in conversation. After all, a quiet answer turns away wrath, and a rash comment inspires it.

But then, this kind of "timeout" should be explicitly suggested or stated, not suddenly initiated without warning.

I would suggest highlighting it to your boyfriend, and clarifying why is this happening.

[Anonymous]

You are addicted and / or obsessed with the emotional rollarcoaster and the mistreatment. A healthy relationship would be boring to you hence why you remain with a guy that ignores you, confuses you, gas lights you and gives you silent treatment. There is even a name for this tactic sometimes discussed within the dating arena... push / pull.

You say it makes you not want to be with him.. but you are still being with him. Therefore you are communicating that this behavior is acceptable.

[LazerBean]

By not dating people like that.

[bbhhgirl]

If you look at my previous post you’ll see what happened and tell me if I was wrong