Why do I always get upset with him?

[Anonymous]

So I'll explain a most recent event, we were suppose to go out on Sunday and he ended up changing plans and even if the reasoning is completely valid. I still see myself getting upset and sorta finding it difficult to just act normal about it. like he has reason but why am I still so mad at this or down? I feel like I got my hopes up to high for it to just be crushed and it makes me feel bad👍 but yeah I just need advice to fix this silly little issue I got going in my 🧠

[RavVid]

It is quite possible to have mutually exclusive emotional reactions to the same event.

Say a supervisor leaves and I am asked to fill in that vacant slot while I still do my normal job. I could be delighted at the confidence shown in me and pleased with the probability of becoming supervisor permanently. At the same angry I am doing two jobs for no more pay.

In these cases you need to resolve the internal conflict. You have accepted the circumstances for changing plans was reasonable and valid but nonetheless disappointing. I think you need to just accept that sadly it couldn't happen and reschedule for when he is definitely free. Suppress the upset feelings.

In my hypothetical work example I could resolve it as I will do it for a month and ask to be confirmed permanently or be relieved of extra duties. No more emotional conflicts after that decision.

[Anonymous]

You can be upset and understanding at the same time. Just let him know that, and if he cares, he would do something to make it up to you.


He made plans with you. You were looking forward to it. Of course you would be disappointed, even if he bailed for a reason. When we care about someone we tend to have expectations, which sometimes inevitably leads to disappointment. Its how you deal with it that matters.


Anyway, like i said its okay to feel upset. Let yourself feel whatever it is you're feeling, and then let it go. Dont push away any feelings good or bad it never ends good. Its what he does about it that matters more. Will he make it up to you or will he think you’re overreacting? If it is the former, then it means he cares, and I believe that would ease the negative feelings.

[LostandFound__x]

Maybe you feel like he’s neglecting you in general or not putting in the effort

[Asker]

do you gave any tips to maybe have him make me feel better? I don't know what I should do? just straight up tell him I feel sorta neglected? I am a pretty needy person so I can't just ask for more attention. it's a bit much (I think)

[LostandFound__x]

I think you should communicate it with him. Rather than say you are neglecting me just say I feel neglected and give an example.

I’ve done this before and usually nothing bad comes out of it lol.

[Anonymous]

You two are probably not compatible.

[Asker]

I mean, if I felt I wasn't compatible then I don't belive I'd be putting so much effort to fix this issue?