Do you think it would be brutal to be in your 40s single and alone?

Question

RomanticRealist · Accepted Answer

No, it happens a lot because of divorce and here in NYC many people haven’t been married up to that point. Most have had relationships at some point though. The women in their 40s that I know all have great lives. They have great careers, money to enjoy life, if they had kids young then they’re out of the house or off doing their own thing so these women can focus more on themselves, they look good, still have dating options, etc.

the interesting thing I’ve noticed with some older women is that they don’t lack options, they often lose interest in dating for period of time because of all the heartache of past relationships. One of my coworkers is in her 40s and still being harassed by her abusive ex husband. She has two children - one off to college and the other on his way. She’s dipping her toe in dating again but she truly does not want to jump into a relationship too fast because she just got out of one hell of a rollercoaster ride. I’ve met a lot of women like this (doesn’t have to be abuse, could just be an unhappy relationship or marriage). Being single is a breath of fresh air for them and they’re happy to be on their own for once. So it’s not brutal for them - they’re relieved.

I asked a friend of mine in her 50s if she would find someone after him. She’s petite, energetic, and I think she’s cute. She’s truly over it. She said platonic love will be enough for her after she eventually divorces her husband. That’s if she goes through with it. Some older women aren’t the happiest with their marriages at all but would rather not deal with the transition to divorced life. That’s why my mom told me she stayed married to my dad.

My experience with older women in my own local region is why I think the “wall” is an illusion that certain types of men jerk off to online in my opinion. I’m sure it’s true in some countries/regions. I’ve heard about women in certain parts of Asian being viewed as old in their 30s and without marriage prospects. At least in western countries, and specifically in major cities, my observations have been different and my experience in my 30s. Older women still seem to have more access to sex and relationships than older men do, in my opinion. I honestly don’t think that changes until maybe 60s. What does seem to happen that’s not talked about much is that a lot of older women *don’t want relationships* anymore. It reminds me of that study that found widows were happier after their husbands died. Or studies that show that women suffer more in terms of mental health and confidence in relationships. That context kind of helps me understand. I think there’s also insecurity sometimes as well, but tbh I don’t think that’s it for many women I meet. They’re just tired.

I think it’s nice if you can still be in love with the person you met younger and grow old together, but it’s hard. It’s best to love yourself and be okay with being alone. I think that makes us more attractive and healthier partners if we want romantic love at any age, and it’s essential if we don’t want to look for romantic love.

Side note though - couples who marry young with tend to have higher divorce rates, among similarly aged couples. Couples with the lowest divorce rates in the USA (and probably in similar countries) get married in their later 20s and early-mid 30s. The divorce rate starts to go back up after that, but the reasons are different. Age gap relationships have the highest risk - with astronomically high divorce rates in the U. S. Thats also interesting to think about in terms of age and relationships.

Anyway back to the topic - I think being a single man in his 40s can be more brutal on average than being a single woman in her 40s. A few men are having the time of their lives ofc lol However, I think on average it’s harder emotionally, sexually, and in terms of relationships for older men that age and (in true case of divorce) maybe harder on some portion of women, depending on how career-focused they were, what kind of divorce settlements they have, if they have kids, and what their partner made. Most women don’t have access to rich men and may then be the primary caregivers to kids.

It varies for men too though. If he’s been single for a while vs. recently divorced. There are probably a lot more men who didn’t get laid much in their 30s and 40s, whereas that’s still super easy for women. Men desire sex and affection a lot, so that can be hard if he’s feeling unwanted for a very long time and older.

Youryeodongsaeng · Accepted Answer

Yes. Even though you don't need to have a lover. But let's face it, being a 40 and hadn't had a lover since you were 13 is brutal. I wouldn't mind having a lover in my 20's or 30's and not have one in my 40's.

I've gotten out of a ldr when I was 16. Right now, I am fine not having a lover, even though I want one. Love awaits me. I don't know how long until I find love, but I think it'll find me. I've told myself not to get into a relationship until I am ready for one. When love finds me, that'll be a sign that I'm ready.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

These days it's different because of the internet.

I'm in my 40's and there's tons of dating opportunities online for me. There's lots of women my age either divorced and looking for another relationship or something casual, then there's the women my age who never even got married in their 20's and they're desperate to get a ring and a baby ASAP (I'm careful of those ones). Then there's the younger women in their 20's who want to try an older man because they crave a brief relationship with a guy who has a mature attitude. Then there's the foreign women looking for a Western husband in his 30's, 40's, and 50's who will have a house, income, and a good life to share with her.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

No not even I'm in my 40s and I'm single

I'm happy I'm content I don't think that I get lonely I know I I enjoy talking to people flirting but I'm always so busy that I don't think I'm lonely and to be honest I think what I'm ready I can go out and get a girlfriend I don't think that's a problem at least I hope not LOL if you are lonely get on the internet you have the whole world in your hands you can do just about anything on there you can learn anything you have to explore life life is fun I could get into it right here with you but just go back and read some of my answers it will tell you everything LOL

Cynicaldreamer · Answer

No worse than being single in your 20s and 30s-

Seriously, it's not a big deal. There are people in their 40s miserable and lonely because they're in bad relationships, but too afraid to leave their partner.

I'll just wait for a decent person to be with. And if it's not meant to be, I'll just be single into my 30s, 40s, 50s... and on

coachTanthony · Answer

If you can't be happy single you will never be happy with someone else because other humans don't have the capacity to make other HUMANS happy.

Pinay_ako · Answer

Hell no. Grass is greener under you.

Ian69 · Answer

I’m currently 53, single, live by myself and absolutely love it. I can go out when I want, come home when I want and just do anything I want when I want too. I don’t have to answer to anyone, no drama’s, no pressure. And I’ve no intention of changing my situation.

WindAtMyBack · Answer

It depends entirely on the person. Some people really want someone else around. Being single might be hard for them. Other people don't mind being single and even prefer it.

Personally I like being single and living alone. I also like being with someone and living with them. I don't have a preference one way or the other.

Honest-Matt · Answer

I'm turning 30 this year, I'm single and emotionally unprepared to date again. I spent my 20s with one girl I wanted to marry at one point but I feared I wouldn't give her or myself the life we wanted. I don't feel like I am good enough to seriously date anyone. I've been promiscuous for about 8 years now.

karin1985 · Answer

It depends on how your own mindset is, stay optimistic, confident and self-disciplined every day. A high quality of life will make you even if you are single is also a high quality of single. There is no lack of suitors around, but they are not my cup of tea.

Anonymous · Answer

I am in my mid 40's, single and alone by choice and at least 98% of the time I absolutely love it. Having said that, I am very healthy, fit, youthful, strong and I train every 2 days with isometrics that can eventually make you strong enough to break chains...

Therefore it's all about the relationship that you have with yourself and the most high.

MikeInHawaii · Answer

Nope! It would be far worse to be living with a psychobitch from hell. I spent 18 miserable years living with my mother, the queen of the PBFH group, and I love the quiet and solitude of my empty apartment.

Fireguy17 · Answer

Not at all. I was single, but could get a date when ever I wanted to. I had money, I could travel, motorcycle trips whenever I wanted. It was a great time to be single.

D-Pad_Chad · Answer

For most men, no. It actually has a zen to it. For women... yeah y'all are screwed, and not in the fun way.

Jamesshinobi · Answer

im 41 and i have only been alone twice from conception to now. once for 6 hours when i was 24 and it was the worst thing to ever happen to me and iv fought in a couple of wars. the second time was this past Friday for 3 hours and it wasn't so bad.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

No; because the older I get, the easier it is. It was rough like about 5 years ago, but I've gone over the crest of the bell curve now and I'm on the other side. Acceptance and serenity is a powerful thing. I care less and less ever year.

TroyDT · Answer

Depends upon the person's attitude. You can be positive about it, realizing that you can go do whatever you want without someone else delaying, controlling, or otherwise hindering what you want to do.

bolverk · Answer

Not really, I've been single from my early 30's, its an easier uncluttered life, I can take on short notice overseas contracts without having to factor in anyone else.

Hardworkingguy · Answer

No. You shouldn't feel that way. At that age your maturity should help you to see your goals under a different light. Finding a spouse should be easier since you have far More to offer than when you were younger. You just need to hit the gym

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

I’m in my forties and single. It’s pretty good most of the time.

20yearsolder · Answer

It wouldn't be fun but I wouldn't give up. There are other people in that age group that are single.

zagor · Answer

No, why would it be? While there aren't as many social activities for singles at 40 as at 25, there is still plenty to do. And if you're in decent shape you can still be humpin' 25's.

art84 · Answer

It's easier as you get older. I don't feel alone as I have my nephew and nieces and parents. I am near my 40's and just accepted it in my 20's being single and early 30's.

RiseofArtemis · Answer

For women its a catastrophe for many men its normal.

SlothySlob · Answer

As a man? No, not really. As a woman? To some extent, I think so.

FatherJack · Answer

Not at all. I would never endure another relationship / marriage. I am intrroverted & prefer my own company anyway , so prefer to stay single.

AsaKyo · Answer

It's more brutal to be a depressed 20 year old with no driver's license or job and no way to meet others  Imagine that

JFelix · Answer

What kind of question is that, everyone has the same right to be in love whether you 18 or 90

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Wait `til you're in your late `50's, single, completely alone and no kids!

exitseven · Answer

Before i met my wife i would say that I would be okay with it now I am not so sure.

Anonymous · Answer

That’s me. I have gotten wiser at avoiding bigger problems. But the rejection still hurts. Hurts a lot.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Depends on how hot and social you are. For both genders.

magiusX26 · Answer

geen i wonder. ehem, am over 40 and single (no longer care to change that either)

ChiTown33 · Answer

Nope. I've actually never been more content.

jerdanro · Answer

I'm 52 and single. Dating is brutal at 40 , unless you're exceptionally attractive in some way. That said, I'm content being alone.

Guardian45 · Answer

LOL! Welcome to my world. Join the queue at the end of the line way way way back there yonder!

maximumpower · Answer

Nope. Knowing what I know now, would consider it a blessing.

Synikal · Answer

By choice... no. Otherwise it can be. Depending on how u want to define your life.

tafarrier · Answer

Id be flirting with 20 something cuties, just the same. Daddy Robucks

MCheetah · Answer

That's going to be half of everyone's near future.

LazerBean · Answer

For some people yes, for some people no.

JSmuve · Answer

I'll let you know in 6 years

Anonymous · Answer

Please don't remind me. I am already headed there.

Anonymous · Answer

That would be hell.

nawtee_me · Answer

Why would it be? I am 56 and single.

Avatar74 · Answer

I am single and alone at the moment.

Fuentes · Answer

It would be great

Zolly99999 · Answer

No it is not 😁😁

dolemite89 · Answer

better than being married 😂

Heolurt · Answer

Maybe but it's a life I will have to live.

Jaggermoves12655 · Answer

I personally don't care

bigpauly · Answer

No I think it would be fine.

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

Sounds like perfection to me.

kursedlife · Answer

I'm 49 and I hate being alone.

Anonymous · Answer

Better to be alone then hurt by anyone

77five · Answer

No? Lol

melanieeeB · Answer

Nope

dustybiker · Answer

Perspective.

jimmy2 · Answer

Baby at my age you are a hotie

Anonymous · Answer

I think it would be great.

_Just_A_girl_ · Answer

Yep.

joeldalton · Answer

yes.

AngryCarl · Answer

Not for me.

Do you think it would be brutal to be in your 40s single and alone?

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Would be alright with being single for the rest of your life?

Do you think it would be brutal to be in your 40s single and alone?

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Would be alright with being single for the rest of your life?

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