Normal to not feel instantly attracted?

[Anony3942]

Just went on a date with a guy and he was really really nice and we got along really well!

I didn’t feel attracted to him necessarily, but I can recognise he isn’t bad looking.
Should I feel sparks with him instantly? Is it normal that I don’t feel attracted to him after our first date? Is there a point going on a second date cause my attraction to him might build? That is how it works right?

I need some opinions and other peoples experiences 😅

[DaveJord]

In my experience if the sparks not there its not there. Especially when you know by all rights it should be, but it's just not.

Let me ask you a question, what was your experience from your previous relationship?

Were you heart broken?

I have been told this by two women before. Both were coming off traumatic relationships. They literally said; " I am sitting there looking and talking with you, thinking this is an mazing person, I should be totally attracted to this man..."

But they weren't and it freaked them out. Bottom line was they were not over their previous relationship and they weren't ready to be dating again. They thought they were, until they met me. One of them said, " I think your the real deal, and it scares me because I could, but I am not." There were no second dates.

Yes, I was pissed, but honestly they did the right thing. If your not seriously interested in this guy, then don't go on a second date with him. You just setting him up to be disappointed.

So is this you or am I off target.

[glennos89]

Sometimes the sparkles are inmedietly there before even speaking to someone and sometimes they need tine to build.

The best relationship I ever had wasn't exactly starting this way. She was really into me from the start and I didn't know if I felled the same to be honest. I didn't think it was going to work out for me but still I gave it a chance and that was the best discision I ever made when it comes to relationships.

Lived together with her for 6 years but sadly it wasn't meant to be in the end and we broke up. We both needed some time and space for ourselves after the breakup and after 2 years we saw eachother again in a bar and we talked again after 2 years of silence.

That evening we really closed are past as a couple by speaking out everything that needed closure and that was the start of a plutonic friendship that grew into a bond that's unbreakable. Lost a lover but gained her back as a friend without benefits or anything romantic. Just plain friends and I would never want it to be anything else then that anymore.

My advice to you... Find out if his personality matches yours and don't give up straight away because love can develope overtime. The beginning is always awkward and uncomfortable but that will change as you get to know eachother better. Give it time and enjoy the time together and make descisions later when you know for sure wether you want this or not

[Anonymous]

most guys I liked aren't good looking, they aren't ugly either. but because we get along, after so many months I started to like them.

[slatyb]

Up to you. Go on another date and then see how you feel. I'm reminded of a story about a pediatrician who went in a date with a woman he really liked. It didn't go that well. So he invited her to come watch him work. When she saw how he cared for his patients she was immediately in love with him.

[jshm2]

This is real life, not Hollywood, kiddo.

You talk to build up a picture of him that his image is hiding. Maybe stop talking useless shit to him and ask some probing questions to get to the real him instead?

[20yearsolder]

If you enjoyed the date, you enjoyed his company. You enjoyed the conversation then go on another date. You don't have to feel an immediate spark.

[KrakenAttackin]

It's almost better that you don't have that immediate lust. This way you can get to know the real person rather than the lust filled vision of the person.

[nawtee_me]

If you had a good time then why not spend more time with him? You may find in time that neither of you can do without the other.

[Anonymous]

Totally normal. I'm never instantly attracted to anyone.

[Infinity12]

Few women feel sparks instantly.

[Anonymous]

That's infatuation.