Do I just feel attraction or lust?

[TheNameDoesntMatter]

There is this one guy (same age) that I started liking out of the sudden, we shared the same sport. We talked he told me I was pretty and one thing I messed up is telling him I had an ED (i had only known him for one year) he treated me the same it got to a time he hugged me so tight it made my day nothing much though we would hug eachother like that almost everyday. Take in account my and his immaturity. He was in a 1 week relationship with one of my friends pretty short and then he openly expressed how he didn't intend on being on another relationship (I know more than 1 person will tell me to take a hint but I just pushed it away) he said he would feel nervous around me he was nice. Background info I have been feeling lonely since my grandma died causing family problems and isolation from friends and social life, did I really like him or I wanted something to fill me up? It was going on well until he changed time of doing our sport he was more distant, he was getting used to getting along with the older more advanced part of the team. Then this girl came lets call her Ava (not the real name) she was a classmate from the previously mentioned friend that I had she invited him and me to attend a school activity (the guy is homeschooled and I am in another school) he meet her friends and he met Ava, sadly I couldnt go. Mind the fact that they only seen eachother 1 heck of a day and texted a bit and Ava went to send a box full of snacks and a love note via my friend. I felt you know upset and decided to try to forget him, he talked with a friend saying how she is ugly and he didn't want anything, my friend went to tell ava what he said and she cried. I have been ignoring him for the last month why does it seem he shows more affection to me once im trying to avoid him, he saw I improved in my sport he clapped for me cheered me on and kept nervously quiet as he wanted to talk to me but never did, and I feel like im doing something wrong , i miss him.

[Oliverlogan263]

It's hard to say for sure without knowing you and this guy personally, but based on what you've described, here are my thoughts:

• Your feelings for this guy seem rooted more in loneliness and a lack of connection than true romantic attraction. You mentioned feeling isolated after your grandmother passed away and losing touch with friends. This guy was friendly and attentive at a time you craved that kind of companionship.

• His behavior suggests he may have just enjoyed the friendly intimacy of your dynamic, without actual romantic interest. He was quick to say he didn't want a relationship, hugged you platonically, and seemed distant at times.

• The idea of another girl (Ava) pursuing him triggered jealousy in you, indicating you did have some possessive feelings toward him. But those feelings may have come more from a place of wanting to feel "chosen" rather than true compatibility.

• His increased attention now that you're distancing yourself could be due to him simply missing the comfort and ego boost of your previous closeness. It may not reflect any deeper shift in how he sees you.

• You're both fairly young, which means you're still learning how to navigate relationships. In maturity often comes clarity on what " attraction" really means versus infatuation, passion or lust.

• Focus on rebuilding connections with friends, family and community activities that fulfill you. Forming healthier bonds with others may help provide the intimacy and validation you crave in a more sustainable way.

In summary, I'd encourage you to reflect carefully on whether this connection truly has what it takes to become a healthy, nourishing relationship. For now, focus your energy inward on healing and growth. More clarity will come in time. I hope this perspective helps! Let me know if you have any other questions.

[TheNameDoesntMatter]

I think that makes me understand my situation better thank you

[Oliverlogan263]

You’re welcome

[DerekC321]

I think he likes you and it sounds like you definitely have feelings for him too.

[DerekC321]

Thanks for the MHO.

[WhitneySnow]

He’s definitely into you. I think you’re crushing on him.

[Jennz6]

I think he likes you