Don’t you feel like finding a girl or guy is impossible?

[Anonymous]

[SueShe]

There are plenty of people that you can find. It all depends what the goal of finding those people is. If it is to be friends, then you have to be selective, have some criteria that you should adhere to in order to get a friend of either gender. However, it is difficult (not impossible) to remain friends only when both genders are involved because the one or the other will often want more than just to be casual friends.

Now, if you want more than just a casual friend, then it becomes very critical to make the right choice.

If I was into dating or even looking for a partner, he should have a number of qualities. To me, the most important things about a person, regardless whether this person is to date, to talk to or just to be with are:

- Character
- Intellect
- Personality
- Charisma
- Responsible
- Humor
- Caring
- Open mind
- Being respectful of others, animals and nature
- Not selfish
- Altruism
- Honesty
- Humble
- Generosity
- Simplicity
- Kindness
- Smart
- Empathy
- Positive attitude
- Assertiveness
- Body hygiene

That about summarizes what I seek in another person.

What I am not interested the least are looks, cult of the personality, physique, height, weight and for those that are so worried about that small detail, the size of their penile appendage. That is not the least relevant to me.

[Pot8o]

Women always say they don't care about looks, but in reality they have already discarded the ugly guys, so they're choosing between hot guys and that's where personality starts to matter.

[PrettyPriya]

No, it isn't impossible. Not sure why you feel that way. Most of the time I hear this, it is because someone has had some bad luck and feels they need to give up. I had not dated in two years when my now fiancé just showed up in my life.

The no dating had a lot to do with the pandemic, but it was also because I was busy with a career and life in general. Nothing is impossible though. It takes some patience and not forcing a relationship where there is none.

Technically, I waited 24 years to find a guy that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Those two years in between relationships felt like an eternity, but I wasn't just going to settle for the sake of dating.

So, what I always recommend to users here is to get involved in a local club or activity group. You will meet likeminded people that share a common interest. Much easier to meet someone and break the ice when you have something in common already.

[Asker]

Hmm. I feel like for most men we are just incels. It’s so hard to find a girl even when life is going well and you’re looking well

[Asker]

You have to be very handsome or have a lot of status and be respected

[Pot8o]

Her perspective is useless, since she's a woman. You read what she wrote, her fiance just "showed up". Women play life on easy mode.

[PrettyPriya]

@Pot8o So, just showed up to be offensive. What I meant by showed up, is that it was unexpected and unusual how we met. It was no different for him. Basically, I came into his life out of nowhere by chance as well.

So, while you try to twist my words and play the woe as me card, I'd ask you to do it in more of a civilized way, rather than calling women useless because of your own shortcomings. Thanks or your cooperation and understanding.

[Pot8o]

Didn't call women useless. Called their perspective on this useless. Also yes, you're right that for the handful of guys that women go for, it doesn't require effort.

[PrettyPriya]

@Pot8o "handful of guys" that women go for. Hmm, logic has escaped you since there are approximately 60 million married couples in the US alone (I figure you are American).

[Pot8o]

So 60 million suckers

[Asker]

As a man I feel I’ve been given the hard end of the straw. I don’t even look bad

[Pot8o]

Your status matters more than your looks. Guys with good social skills (I don't mean the basics, I mean the kind of social skills you can leverage to climb the social hierarchy), those do well.

[PrettyPriya]

@Pot8o Oh, do you mean like a "boneheaded douche" as you so eloquently stated in your opinion. Let's break that down.

Boneheaded (def): A stupid person.
Douche (derogatory)(def): an arrogant, obnoxious, or despicable person

Now, what kind of despicable idiot is going to be able to climb the social hierarchy? Asker, I will leave it to you to sort through the irony and hypocrisy and make a decision on your own.

If you have any real questions, since you at least seem level headed and not here to argue, you can DM me should you wish.

[Pot8o]

The social hierarchy is based on superficial traits which should be fairly obvious to you if you consider e. g. the phenomenon of music, where absolute troglodytes like Drake are unfathomably rich and insanely popular with women, despite being utterly useless at music, while genius classical composers and musicians remain virtually unknown.

It's perfectly easy to climb the social hierarchy as a douche, in fact it's an advantage.

[Guy13]

Nah…. Once you get established in your own place, paid off car, saving for a house, and employed by Pfizer or Halliburton then it will all be good..

I don’t see a problem 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Asker]

So girls just want money.

[Guy13]

Girls want a guy that they can visualize Family and children with. This involves some Intellect and mostly Accomplishment on one’s Resume.
Kind-Hearted, Respectful, Average-Good looking, and all that other emotional garbage matters too…if you ever want to get laid 😎

[Truthatanycost]

No, just unworthy of time, money, energy and fails the cost-to-benefit ratios...

[Anonymous]

No, finding ”a guy” would be easy. Finding a guy I actually get feelings for, share enough dreams and values with, get along with, is respectful and lotal, who I actually want to spend the rest of my life with and who also feels the same about me would be very difficult. So I’ve stopped dating. Have been single for years and not even talked go a guy that way since because too many people today are commitment phobes, liars, cheaters and what not so I’m not interested. I want a loving, happy, monogamous life long marriage or nothing at all. It’s almost impossible to find what I’m looking for nowadays so nothing it is.

[Asker]

I believe women have it 10X easier. The world was moade for you. Most men are incels unless they are really attractive

[Pot8o]

That's hilarious. It's super easy to find guys into those things but when you chase the most high-status guys of course they're gonna use you because they can. As usual, women's crazy standards leads to the conclusion "there are no good men".

[Midgetmcwidget]

Yes, never seems to work out. you like him he doesn't like you. A guy likes you and you don't like him.

[Asker]

Why don’t you like him back? I need to hear the female perspective

[Midgetmcwidget]

Maybe he's a friend and not my type. Maybe the timing isn't right and my the time I like him he's moved on

[Agape93]

Nope.
Get out of the basement, work on yourself, socialize and bam, you increase your chances by quite a bit.

[Asker]

I already have and still I can’t get a lady

[Asker]

If I were model looking it would be easy work.

[Agape93]

So what do you do on the daily

[Asker]

I study medicine

[Asker]

Meet with friends

[Asker]

I’ve met girls but they don’t like me.

[Agape93]

So you study then go meet up with people you already know?

[Agape93]

Do something different

[Asker]

Well I did try online dating and what a failure that was 😂

[Asker]

You’ve either got it or you don’t I feel

[Agape93]

No no, lol go out and meet new people. Hit up coffee shops that aren't star bucks

[Asker]

I know what you mean. But I feel like that wouldn’t work. In bars and clubs you only meet bad girls that only want sex. In my medical school I’ve failed to meet anyone nice. I’m an incel.

[Agape93]

Yeah, no, you're wrong about that. Also, coffee shops aren't bars or clubs.

Get out there man.

[BlueScorpio]

No. I see them everyday at work and outside lol

[Pot8o]

It's not impossible if you're a boneheaded douche. Women love those.

[Allyfax]

Yessss sir findi g a girl in zambia is impossible finding a good girl in South africa even worse

[Anonymous]

I can a girl very easily but convincing her for date is difficult