Why can't I find a single woman in her 30s, who's sane, smart, talented, nerdy, geeky, brave, artistic, logical, and takes care of herself?

[TheSpaceGnome]

If you are an exception and live in the US, by all means prove me wrong (it would really lift my mood right now).

Logically it should be commonplace, but fuck is this hard to find.

[Avicenna]

Well, 30s is actually the age cohort it's hardest to find single women, and what you're looking for is very desirable, so unlikely to be single.

[TheSpaceGnome]

But I'm the male version of that, I'm in my 30s, and I'm single.

I'm single because being all of those things makes it very hard to socialize, it makes you an shut-in, a busy person, career focused, goal focused, a gamer, a collector, a study junkie, an artist.

So logically, 90% of "in their 30s women like that", should also be single, because the same is true for men like that (unless there are simply far more men like that than women, but that wouldn't make any sense).

[Avicenna]

That assumes they only date men in their 30s, which isn't true. In reality, you'll see what I said is accurate for women in their 30s. Don't forget that men still outnumber women until around 39.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Yeah but only by about 60,000 for people in their 30s, and thats nationally, it doesn't account for local population distrobution amounts. Plus most people on either gender that fit my description are likely to still be single based on lifestyle unless they met a match in highschool or college.

[Avicenna]

Then you must be doing something wrong if you aren't meeting one. I suspect that they aren't as likely to be single as you think

[TheSpaceGnome]

Well, compatiblity considered, if i'm doing something wrong, or not doing something I should be doing in order to meet them, then they are likely making the same mistake, so wth am I supposed to do about it?

[TheSpaceGnome]

My lifestyle and hobbies are definitely more isolating than not, but I enjoy them, and they are part of what I want in a girlfriend/wife.

[Avicenna]

If you know they exist and you're compatible with them, you know where to find them, right? They aren't loners who stay at home all the time.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Well, actually they are, they are at home I would think, like me, doing the hobbies I do, but I can't just go knocking on random doors..

[Avicenna]

So they're at home. Who do they communicate with online? What groups or organizations do they belong to?

[TheSpaceGnome]

Thats where the problem happens.

Women seem to communicate online less than men on gaming platforms because a lot of men harrass them.

It's like being ghosted before they even meet you. It is just assumed that if you are a stranger, you must be a toxic shithole, and therefor are not friend worthy.

I don't have another social hobby, everything else is isolating.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I do see and talk to women online when gaming, just not ones in my age group from the US.

[Avicenna]

Well, do you have any other friends who share your interests? Male or female friends?

[TheSpaceGnome]

Mostly male, some female. Why?

[Avicenna]

Don't they know other people?

[TheSpaceGnome]

Yes, but none like i'm looking for in my age group. Or are you suggesting I amass hundreds of friends of friends until I daisy chain my way to a match at random?

[Avicenna]

Having a good social network can sometimes pay off like that. Meeting a girlfriend is usually random though.

[TheSpaceGnome]

That presents a slight problem though, in trying to make time for that many people, I have time for none.

[TheSpaceGnome]

what I mean is lets say I'm playing a game with 3 friends for 5 hours a day to get to know them, if I split that time between say, 300 people, that leaves 1 minute per person, or one day a year per person. Thats not enough time to get to know anyone.

[Avicenna]

Maybe you need to take up a new hobby

[TheSpaceGnome]

Nah, this is my dream hobby.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I'd be unhappy with other hobbies.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I think I figured out the solution.

[Avicenna]

pray tell...

[TheSpaceGnome]

Not till i have a wife ^-^ then I'll tell.

[Avicenna]

LMAO...

[TheSpaceGnome]

hehehe

[Juxtapose]

All the women I meet like that are taken or overseas. Good luck 👍

[TheSpaceGnome]

Thats been my experience too, I don't understand why single American female nerds/artists seem to hide themselves online. I feel like maybe I'm just not looking in the right places.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Recently I've had lots of women flirting with me, but all the American ones just want casual sex, and the good ones have all been in southeast Asian countries..

[TheSpaceGnome]

What is it with the culture here? did I miss some drastic society overhaul? Or do people just marry younger here?

[Juxtapose]

We'll think of it this way, it would be harder for a woman like that to stay single than to get with a guy. By the time we get to our 30s most of these really desirable women are going to be taken.

Our culture is going downhill in my opinion and good women are hard to find in America.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Normally yes, but does bad culture and most likely being already taken by 30, apply to women who are too intelligent to follow culture, and stay in their homes all day?

[Juxtapose]

You can sit behind a keyboard all day and still get men tripping over themselves to get to you if you're a woman. I have lived with women enough to see this time and time again, men don't even have to see their face or hear their voice in order to send them gifts.

[Juxtapose]

As a woman you pretty much have to go out of your way to stay single.

[Bethany22]

You didn't mention attractiveness level, but that's probably an implicit requirement as well.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I didn't mention that because thats not hard to find in women who share those other traits.

9 times out of 10, a woman who fits all those tends to be gorgeous... and taken.. or too big an age gap... or outside the country...

For example if she likes challenging video games, most of those tend to have hyperattractive characters, so the women who play them well tend to not be the "insecure about her looks" types.

Another example is cosplayers, most of those are attractive.

Another example is scientific minded people, they tend to care for themselves well, so they end up looking a decade or so younger than they are like I do.

I could go on but you get the point I think. It's just implied.

[slatyb]

Where have you looked?

[TheSpaceGnome]

Mostly just online, that type of woman isn't going to be at a bar, club, or other outing location.

[slatyb]

And of all the women you are close enough to date, what percentage meet your requirements? You can't expect to find a partner who will be your everything.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Zero, every perfect match to the point of "being my everything" has been in either Europe, or far more commonly south east Asian countries (mostly japan).

My personality and life choices/interests/hobbies are rare in US women apparantly (at least in internet using one that aren't incognito) unless I drop my age expectations to 20s instead of 30s, because people here tend to marry before finding a perfect match, rather than after.

[TheSpaceGnome]

If you are asking how many I found offline, there isn't anywhere around here to meet that type of person as an adult.

[TroyDT2]

Because they all live near me :)

[Redstang88]

Sane or single in her 30s, pick one dude

[TheSpaceGnome]

Why would it be one or the other?