Why do couples date so long and don’t just marry?

Question

Why couples date so long, why can they just get married like cmon 10, 11 years you stilll playing girlfriend

BlueScorpio · Accepted Answer

Some people might be okay with not getting married but I do think some women are waiting and hoping for the guy to pop the question without seeming to desperate or pushy. So we wait, and wait until we realize 8, 10 by ears have gone by. I was with my husband for 8 before we got married, but he was in school at the time and I was only working part time and needed a car. We were still living at home. Once I got everything in order I told him that it's been 8 years and that's long enough to be with someone to get married. If not then we just need to go our separate ways. But thankfully we did get married.

For women who do want to get married and not be a forever girlfriend, you have to set boundaries and not let a man waste away your youthful years. Thats time that could be spent finding a man who is serious. In the same path as you and does want a wife and family. I would say don't date any longer than 1 to 3 years, that's enough time to know if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone or not. at least it should be.

If the girl or guy your dating gets frustrated or annoyed about the idea of getting married when you eventually speak on it, then that let's you know they are not serious and just tagging you along. Don't ve a forever girlfriend/fling giving a man marriage/wife benefits withouts commitment and vice versa.

ShellyB · Accepted Answer

I have been dating for nearly 4 years (it will be 4 years Christmas week) and did not get engaged until this year and we are not getting married immediately either, he was wanting to get engaged a lot earlier, like 2 years earlier, I let him know I would rather wait, not that I would have said no just that I would prefer to wait to make it official, because I felt like we were in a great phase of life and I did not want to rush it and I was worried things might get weird. However I also would not actually live with him until we got engaged because I did not want my family to judge me or him. I basically lived with him but I still officially had my own place. I wanted the time to be right as far as us being financially stable and really being comfortable with each other and each other's families. Part of it is that it took me a while to trust myself due to some things that I did and that happened in the past. I am super grateful that he gave me the time without pressure. Really every situation is a little different and I do not think you can judge unless you know the couple really well and even then it is really up to them, if they are happy then that is usually good enough. JMO!

TroyDT2 · Accepted Answer

Marriage is too dangerous under current law. If you have more assets and earn more, either male or female, you are betting half of everything and possible future earnings on the hope that the other person won't change his or her mind and blow it all up. Under no fault, even a cheater is entitled to your future earnings if you are the primary bread winner.

So think it through: you're a nurse running a section in a major hospital, earning $150K+. Your husband works at CVS in the pharmacy and makes $50K. He cheats, divorces you, and you still have to pay him spousal and if married long enough half or your retirement. Bad deal.

JulianGronkowski · Accepted Answer

Marriage is expensive! Rings cost like $10,000 on average I believe. Some weddings can be as high as six figures depending on how grand it is. There are lots of fiscal implications as well - the breadwinner in the relationship puts a lot at stake if there is ever a divorce. Typically the man gets screwed over with alimony in these cases, but not always.

Haha456 · Answer

because they don't have faith their relationship will last forever or they know they aren't willing to stick together through thick and thin or they want their freedom to flirt / talk to other women.

they will give you some BS excuse such as "marriage would make no difference to our current living together situation". But come on... living together is not the same as marriage. If you truly loved them enough, you would want to be legally bound to them. If you truly loved the person you are with, you would do anything to be bound to them, which is marriage.

Vesuvius87 · Answer

People want to take things the easy way even in Latin countries, not just in the USA. Getting married requires two good incomes, responsibilities and assets shared. Meanwhile many are too busy doing the cohabitation thing, my boyfriend and I are doing the waiting till marriage method; moving in after marriage.

I refuse to be a man's forever live-in girlfriend and waste more years of my life.

Sarahr123 · Answer

if they were like 16 when they met then it makes sense they were probably waiting to grow up and become a bit financially secure however if you meet at 26 then waiting till 36 is ludicrous. If I met at 26 I’d want to be married within 2 years. I don’t want to put marriage off until after 30. So it depends a lot on age for me.

Shiface92 · Answer

I know couples who have been together 20yrs and then as soon as they got married they divorced and separated from each other completely… this happened with at least 5 long term couples I knew…..

marriage changes relationships, it f***s the relationships up.

genericname85 · Answer

well think about the benefits. what do you get from marriage that you didn't have before if you were already dating for 10 years? nothing, except ginormous bill to pay. so after 10 years, you might as well just keep doing what you did. not very likely that they'll just leave you behind suddenly. and it's not like marriage would stop people from leaving either.

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe they started dating when they were young? They’ll need time to work until they’re independent and stable enough before jumping into marriage.

I have a couple of friends who started dating freshman year of high school (been together for 12 years) and they just recently started considering marriage bcs they’re finally settled enough in their careers. They needed time to grow into proper adults.

BJP21 · Answer

The longer you date the better. I was with my girlfriend for 10 years only to find she wasn't right for me. In the 10 years I was with her, she turned mentally and emotionally abusive. Im glad I put an end to it when I did. My friends and family could see it. I can only imagine the level of dysfunction had I stayed and had a kid with her.

Gooddaze · Answer

Some people such as myself don’t see the value in the “term” marriage. It’s a term a document you sign nothing more. Personally I have first hand know many couples wasted a tremendous amount of money for a wedding only to be divorced a few years later. I know you said married and nothing about a wedding but they go hand in hand in most cases. For what. A title. No thanks

9214xs · Answer

I think depends on the people. We only got married after 11 years and it didn’t really change anything. At the end of the day it’s a piece of paper, it doesn’t make your love more legitimate as people get married for money, obligation or citizenship too.

Summeroflove · Answer

I don’t know. I think marriage is a very important decision. Some people are ready sooner then others.  I don’t really think. It’s my place to judge someone else’s relationship.

menina · Answer

Marriage is not for everyone and not everyone wants to get married. If two people love each other and if they have a happy and healthy relationship getting married won't make a true difference.

lightbulb27 · Answer

probably fear if it doesn't work. Marriage can change things so they say. I think it's really you have to keep working on yourself and your relationship.

Tina19 · Answer

They date for long because they need time to get sure about the relationship and don't want to rush into marriage as more time you spend with someone you get to know their true nature and character

Sixgunsound · Answer

Because marriage is a game of Russian roulette where there is no empty chamber in the revolver.

Berethor · Answer

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

musicbrain5 · Answer

Because marriage is not a requirement for people to stay in a long term relationship.

D-Pad_Chad · Answer

In regards to in the US I'd counter with another question, why get legally married?

slatyb · Answer

Some couples don't want the complications of marriage. In the US if two people making an approximately equal wage marry, their income tax increases.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

If they don't plan on having children, then marriage is just pointless. It's their decision and if they aren't married, not for you to even be concerned about. It's their relationship.

_Just_A_girl_ · Answer

Aiko, truly guys make me sad about it. Ball is in their court: They give the last name They give the ring They don't want to settle down bc there's too many girls to play with out there

OddBeMe · Answer

I think people’s ideas of marriage are religious (which is in decline) and expensive af. Marriage is really a government tax incentive. When you’re living together and sharing finances, with kids, “Married Filing Jointly” is easier.

admles · Answer

Not everyone wants / needs to get marriage.

At the end of the day, it's just a piece of paper, once you've been living together for a certain amount of time, you get all the same legal rights in many countries.

Blackcupcake · Answer

because marriage doesn’t always make a commitment stronger

leighbee · Answer

A lot of marriages end in divorce. Plus weddings are expensive.

Kuros000 · Answer

Because they can't make up their minds and still want an option for "out".

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Some people just don’t want to get married; it’s simply not something they are comfortable with.

OrallyFixated · Answer

Marriage has nothing to offer that I don’t already have. 🤷‍♀️

summiter · Answer

Maybe they are just not into the formal marriage thing

Staximus · Answer

Two of my friends who are my age have been together for 27 years, since they were 18. I told them just get married already like 15 years ago haha

Raaj4you · Answer

A girl here on GaG wrote that, if a guy is serious about any girl then he should marry her within one year. Really? I don't know how girls think? It's difficult to understand girls / women.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Because no man with brains is going to marry. Women either can choose a dumb man for marriage or a smart man and just be a girlfriend. Those are the only options.

Raphaëlle · Answer

Marriage is not something you have to do, if you don't want to do it.

mohammed93alaa · Answer

Why we should put the government into our relationship?

art84 · Answer

My brother and his ex girlfriend did that though they were together for 5 years. His girlfriend didn't want to get married.

Cubus · Answer

Because if you don't marry you can leave whenever you want. People want to have a quick escape.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

I can also ask why does loving someone have to involve marriage?

AsaKyo · Answer

There's too much that goes into marriage and some people just don't wanna deal with it

Subarugirl · Answer

I would say probably because marriage is a disadvantage for a woman

whiskeyontherocks · Answer

Been seeing the same woman for years never married I’ve seen to many nasty divorce’s

red324 · Answer

I know people that have been together for years and those are the one never married. lol

User3191989 · Answer

I don't know why others don't but, I don't want marriage. That's just me

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Because no sensible man gets married this day in age.

Mediterraneansoul · Answer

Because marriage isn't the answer to women vs men drama

Anonymous · Answer

Because marriage today is a minefield for men.

melanieeeB · Answer

Cause marriage isn't everything

Steamnir · Answer

Because there's love but there's no trust

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Marriage is for suckers

DrAdams · Answer

Personal choice no obligation to get married

Msputiton · Answer

Because it's not for everyone.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Yes, I agree with you

Sabretooth · Answer

It all stims from a lack of values.

boobliker · Answer

got to test out the ride you may not like it

ZenJen444 · Answer

Girl who knows cause I could never

Fuentes · Answer

Cause marriage doesn't benefit the man

Why do couples date so long and don’t just marry?

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What Girls & Guys Said

Why do couples date for years but when they live together they don't last?

Why do couples date so long and don’t just marry?

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What Girls & Guys Said

Why do couples date for years but when they live together they don't last?

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