Why do couples date for years but when they live together they don't last?

[Anonymous]

[DaveJord]

Because people can fake it for night or a weekend... eventually the other person goes home and you get space. You can decompress and then recharge for the next date.

But when you live together there is no escape the other person is always there... and that is when the real you comes out. Literally no where for you to hide.

[Grond21]

Because psychologically when you live together to try things out you are setting yourself up for failure. You're putting yourself in a situation that resembles marriage and yet you have one foot out the back door. Or at least it's cracked open, and you know mentally you can leave if things get bad. So by living together first you set yourself up for this mentality even in the marriage, and that's why over 50% of people who live together are divorced within the first 10 years.

It's still a cultural narrative that this is a good idea and helps you make a good choice in a spouse. But the testing has been done and the literature is clear. It's one of the most destructive practices to long-term marital happiness

[NotTacocaT6969]

People behave very VERY differently when you share a roof with them as opposed to seeing them outside of their house.


They become their true selves at home.


Never marry someone before knowing what it’s like to live with them.

[Anonymous]

Because up till then they were able to create thier idealized version of the other person. Then when they lived with then they were finally forced to meet the real person.

This is microcosm of women dating as a whole. Women go off FEELINGS far too much. And use thier actual brain far too little. They are creating thier idealistic version of what they see the guy as, or what she wants him to be. And seldom do guys, can guys, live up to that. Then after it's over she claims "he misled me". 🤣🤣🤣

[Guy13]

Because when one shares space with another in a “permanent” place, they discover the 🚂 wreck of a person they’ve been dating. When there is no Absolute Truth their is no agreed upon Morality, therefore, there is an Out.

Its not going to get any better and in fact probably worse. The grass is not greener on the other side and finding anyone that will spend 5 years with you, is rare.

Rarely, is there a going back as at least one is Forever Done ✅

[Anonymous]

Because you don’t put up w each other’s bullshit on a daily basis. It’s date night, let’s go out to dinner, drink, maybe a movie, something entertaining then we fuck, maybe you stay the night but then you go home the next day. When it comes to staying together you see it all and smell it all. Lazy mofo, she’s dirty doesn’t clean up, he drinks out of the carton, etc. You get to take a break from each other.

[20yearsolder]

Probably because they're not together 24/7/365. They actually get a break from each other. Once you live underneath the same roof, it's kind of hard to get away from each other.

[abc3643]

Because that's when you learn what the person is really like and, one of them realizes that they don't want to deal with that for the rest of their lives.

[FilmGuy93]

When you live with someone, all your personal quirks reveal themselves. A perfectly nice couple can be driven to their wits' ends by simply not having a break from each other.

[Jamie05rhs]

Because they take each other for granted. Or one of them does, and the other one gets tired of trying so hard for someone that doesn't appreciate them.

[In_Trance]

When you live with someone yourself you'll find out

[slatyb]

Because that's when things get real..

[Guardian45]

They weren't meant to be. NOT sympatico.