A guy I was dating grabbed my arm and said it was because a car almost hit us, but the car stopped before that. I am uncomfortable with this?

[Anonymous]

Was this a protective gesture or like a controlling one? We were at a crosswalk but the car had already like stopped. He grabbed my arm kinda hard and I thought it was overkill. He’s overall really touchy and I don’t like it.

Updates

+1 y

Also important to note - he mentioned on a previous date he is a “touchy” type of person. On this date before he grabbed me we were sitting on a park bench so I could finish my gelato and he kept touching my legs and kissing my back. And I wasn’t mirroring his advances.

[xColinx]

So he had a random urge to grab your harm, like, really hard. And the passing car was a coincidence. You should probably avoid this guy.

[Asker]

Well we were walking back from a date we were on. We went to a park bench so I could finish my gelato but he kept feeling me up and touching my legs a lot and kissing my back. I wasn’t mirroring his interest but he kept going and then told me I was closed off.

[xColinx]

Next time he's feeling you up try reminding him, yo i'm gettin my gelato on over here.

[Asker]

I don’t get what you mean
I thought you just said to avoid him and I don’t want to see him again

[xColinx]

Well I mean either way right? Probably best to avoid him like covid on a Saturday, but if you end up hanging out again just make sure he respects the gelato.

[Steamnir]

If you dont like that behavior and his touch isn't comfortable to u, leave him.
a woman body can distinguish between friendly touch and unfriendly touch, so apologize for him and leave him.

[SlothySlob]

Tell him that you didn't like him touching you and make it clear that if a car runs you over that he is not to even look in your general direction.

[Anonymous]

If you don't like him, then leave. Nobody is forcing you to date him.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he just panicked for a second. Better safe than sorry. Just going off of what you wrote, it seems like a ridiculous thing to get upset about.

[Asker]

Well he touched me a lot before that without my consent when we were on our date. In general I was just pissed off by that point.

[Opinion Owner]

Did you tell him that you weren't comfortable with him touching you? If he's being forceful about it, I think you should stop seeing him.

[Asker]

Yeah I didn’t come right out but he was trying to move my leg over his and I said I just want to sit there and he kept moving my legs to be over his lap. Kept attempting after I was closed off.

[Opinion Owner]

Was this a first date?

[Asker]

Like 3rd (and last)

[Opinion Owner]

Alright. It makes more sense now. When you said you guys were dating and that he was overall touchy, to me it seemed like you were just getting mad that your boyfriend was acting like he was your boyfriend.

You mentioned that he informed you that he was a touchy person so just in case you find yourself in a situation like this again, it's best to be direct as possible and tell him what you are and aren't comfortable with. Leave no room for misinterpretation.

[Asker]

No I’m mad becuase it felt like he was pushing my boundaries.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, I understand that now. Again, you didn't come out right and say it, so work on being more direct. most men aren't the best with picking up on subtle hints. We communicate directly. Don't give him an excuse to say he didn't know he was doing anything wrong.

[slatyb]

Easy solution. Stop dating him.