Boyfriend goes to the club with another girl?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend wants to go to a Halloween party today. I already have plans with my best friend, she and I are going to watch movies and stay at home because she is not feeling well.

My boyfriend wants to go to a party and he‘s going with a girl he just met at university. Maybe a few of his friends are coming as well but he is not sure yet. I feel jealous about this.. I don‘t think he would cheat on me but I think it is weird. What‘s your opinion? Am I overreacting? What would you do?

[Finchie40]

He only knew this girl 3 weeks and is asking her to go to a club with him? That to me is shady and disrespectful, Because how would he feel if you were going to the club with some guy that you met so yes you have every right to feel uncomfortable about the whole thing , especially because you don’t even know this girl really , So he is making a selfish decision only thinking of himself and not factoring in how you would feel about it. Did you tell him you were uncomfortable with the fact that he is going with this girl? It has nothing to do with trust , it comes down to respect for each other , it’s ok to have opposite sex friends but only if those opposite sex friends respect your relationship, and don’t jeopardize your relationship in any way. What most people don’t realize is that there is 2 categories of friends , there are good friends and toxic friends , Good friends won’t do anything that can cause conflict in your relationship, they respect that you are in a relationship and won’t put you in a situation that can cause conflict in it , toxic friends don’t give 2 shits about your relationship , they get off on seeing your relationship suffer for their own selfish behavior, toxic friends will pull you away from your partner making you feel like you deserve something better , that your partner as issues cuz they don’t trust you , those toxic friends will drag you along until they get what they are after , the second they do , they leave you in the dust with a damaged relationship that they contributed to. That’s why you should never prioritize friends over your partner , just because you think something is ok and your partner can trust you, cuz you have no intentions of doing anything bad , you are not factoring in how your partner would feel ,, you are only thinking of yourself and that’s why so many relationships end in disaster because people choose selfishness over their partner and make excuses for their actions , the fact that your boyfriend didn’t take into consideration on how you would feel about him going to the club with this girl , just shows his true character that he only cares about himself , so again you have every right to be upset and concerned and you have every right to set boundaries with him , If he loves you and cares about you and doesn’t want to lose you , he will distance himself from this girl out of respect for you , if he doesn’t , then kick him to the curb and find someone that does value you , Because I guarantee he would not be comfortable with you going to some club with some random guy you just met , I hate when people say you don’t trust me , that is words from a cheater , a selfish person

[William7489]

I hope you and your boyfriend are both very secure with each other and there’s a lot of trust. And I sure hope that you trust the other girl as well. It’s one thing to say that you’re secure and you trust somebody, but let’s cut the BS. Going to a party, with a female friend, there’s gonna be alcohol, it’s going to get wild, it’s a bad combination. I’m not saying something bad will happen, but it sounds like somebody is interested in your boyfriend and you should be concerned. Believe it or not every story about infidelity begins like this, “I never intended to cheat on my Boyfriend/girlfriend.“ And it’s the truth. But if you keep hanging around the opposite sex, mixing some alcohol, lowered inhibitions and eventually well, you get the old “one thing leads to another“ a story and next thing you know you’re gonna be broken up. I’m not trying to be negative but I can just tell you from experience that sound cheating begins.

[Asker]

thank you! I generally don‘t think my boyfriend would cheat on me but I just think this is a strange situation. I don‘t really know the girl, she‘s nice but we only talked 2 or 3 times and he doesn‘t know her very well either. that‘s what‘s weird to me, they‘re not really friends because they don‘t know each other but he‘s going clubbing with her where people drink and dance? it‘s weird, right?

[William7489]

It’s very strange sometimes the girl who’s interested in the guy will get close to the current girlfriend to learn about the guy, and it just doesn’t make a lot of sense. Think about it, when you do stuff do you generally hang out with men or women? Of course you naturally hang out with other women. Going drinking and dancing with another girl? I’m not gonna say anything bad but I would just keep an eye on it at the very least

[Asker]

so you would be okay with it for now?

[Mollynotgemma]

I don’t believe men and women can truly be just friends…. People believe they can but I have a close male friend but we did end up sleeping together and realise that we didn’t want to be together… we are still friends but we did have sex! So we are able to be friends purely because we have thrown the curiosity out the window.
If we hadn’t had sex yet…. It would just be a matter of time

[Talldutchie]

I would allow him if I had met the girl! If there are more people going it is fine, but without ever having met her I would not like it if it is just the two of them. Surprise visit after the movie with your friends! Introduce yourself to the girl, stay nice and just see if they act normally or nervous

[OlderAndWiser]

I would have checked with my partner before making plans with someone else. Maybe he is feeling that you do not value him very much and he needs to start looking for your replacement.

[boggboss]

I would say its weird if you thought he would cheat or more so if he was taking her to a party if he is going with friends and he is also going I wouldn't see a issue with it especially if it was somthing u was invited to but couldn't or didn't wanna go

[Asker]

he specifically asked her to go the party with him

[boggboss]

Then yeah thats a bit off did u ask him why

[Asker]

he said he doesn‘t want to stay home on Halloween and his friends were busy.. it‘s weird I think

[boggboss]

Is she also 1 of his friends?

[Asker]

they‘ve only known each other for maybe 3 weeks and they only met at uni a few times. he‘s texting her about their classes at uni sometimes

[boggboss]

Then I would say its down to how u feel and if u trust him as that would define if its off or not even that he told u for me would show I dont think he sees it as shadey but u know him best

[AviatorTom]

Jealousy is a common emotion. In this case, he wants to go to the party... with you... and you declined, so he asks a friend to go with him. It's okay to be jealous, but why do you think thus is cheating? Can't your boyfriend have female friends?

[Asker]

yes. but they are not friends, they do not really know each other.

[Miristheiss]

In a relationship but going to a "club" with another girl?

That should be an automatic break up. Who cares if he doesn't cheat? You don't go to the club with some other opposite sex person.

Grow some boundaries and break up and move on. Don't stick around for shady, loose boundary behavior like that.

It may sting in the short term but you'll be better off in the long term. Don't put up with shady crap from a romantic partner.

[Monalisa77]

So men and women can't be friends?

[sonic_fever]

As a man, they only reason I would ever go out with another women that’s isn’t my girl is because I like her and would potentially want something to happen. This is a boundary that you must set up with him if it bothers you. I’m sure if the roles were reversed he wouldn’t like you going out with another man

[ZackBan]

I was at a Halloween party last night.
You have no idea how many girls I danced and flirted with and even made out with a few, and all the guys and girls were doing that.
So do you have a reason to be worried? Yeah you kinda do.
No one goes to a full on party with someone just met and remain faithful.
Hell a few girls I met last night flat out told me they had boyfriends before leaning in for a kiss it's a doggy dog world out there

[wysiwyg2525]

What's the problem.. stop being jealous. He's letting you go to a party and I'm sure there's going to be other guys there. So let him go with his friends to include the girl. At least he was honest with you.

[dustybiker]

I would trust him. Either the trust makes him love you more or you get the cheating over with and move on.

[Kabluie]

It's fine to me, if you show the same trust, you'll get it too. You both have fun in your own ways. You can't play your relationship on eggshells, and overreact when nothing happened.

[KelleyNice]

He will only cheat if she allows it and likely he will not try because he doesn't want to be rejected. He's a man so, unlike how women feel, even if he does, it is no big deal so don't be concerned about it.

[elizamichale1]

Stop overreacting honey... either u should hav made plans with him or should hav told urself to be trusting enough

[IveGotNoName]

I wouldn't be okay with that, but some people wouldn't care, you two need to set some boundaries

[Reign1]

Better give your friend some NyQuil and get to that party. Or boyfriend will probably have more treats than tricks!

[crmoore]

Seems weird, to me. I'd feel the same if I were you.

[TheFlak38]

Yes I'm sure he will stay faithful to you. What a dumb bitch.

[tzdc21]

Has he given you any reasons as to why he would be unfaithful? And if it bugs you so much, why not just tell him so that he's aware of it.

[chicosuave]

you are being insecure. you have to go to therapy for this

[Anonymous]

You should be going with him.

[Asker]

I can‘t. I promised my friend I will spend time with her because she‘s not feeling well

[Pudsmucker]

Must have trust.

[Passing_by]

That's weird indeed. You're right to be concerned.

[jjj101010]

Is she hot?

[Asker]

yes, I think she is attractive

[jjj101010]

Guess it’s more important if he thinks she is?