Do you think it's weird for a guy in his late 30's, (Almost 40) to be dating a 19 year old girl?

[Anonymous]

Smells like a case of pedophilia or gold digging for me

[Berethor]

It might smell like pedophilia but technically it not pedophilia, guys prefer young girls.

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hit%20The%20Wall

[slatyb]

Yeah, 19 is a bit young, but it's not pedophilia. If she were 11, then it would be pedophilia. How did they meet? Who initiated it? What are her plans for the future? How mature is this man? Is he dating her because he's too immature to attract older women?

[Haha456]

I would think he is just taking advantage of her for sex and naivety. I would find it hard to understand what a 40 yr old man would have in common with a 19 yr old kid. I would expect a woman to be at least in her late 20s to be dating a 40 yr old man.

[ConfusedGirl100]

Do i agree with the age difference, no but She is of legal age. So he isn't doing anything illegal.

[Summeroflove]

No. Pedos are dating underage girls.

As long as they’re happy and in it for the right reasons it’s fine

[HighValue]

It is fine as long as they are compatible for a relationship and not just using each other. If they have compatible morals, compatible long term life goals, each one has a past that is acceptable to the other, and they have a few things in common they enjoy doing together then I don't think there is anything wrong with it.

Usually the ones that have a problem with that situation are the women that are older or that have a bad past and they are jealous that the guy would have no interest in them. The men that have a problem with it are often the young ones around her age that again are jealous because she is interested in someone older and not them.

The only other people that I think would have legitimate concerns would be someone that was abused and they think of people differently than most people do that have had a more ordinary life. Traumatized people think differently than other people in the same situation. Just like someone that has experienced a violent burglary is more likely to be concerned with security and weapons than many other people would be. Certain life experiences change how people think of others, even when those others are nothing like the person that harmed them in the past.

[Screenwriter]

Yep. Some men get stuck in high school and never want women with any kind of life experience.

Some of it is simply about physical appearance. Another aspect is wanting control of a relationship. A naive girl has no demands and will likely go along with whatever an older man wants.

Could also be that an older man can impress a kid with his money and power. An older woman, who likely has money and power of her own, won't be so dazzled. So, there's that. Has nothing to do with pedophilia, which is usually about adult men and immature children.

[BeMuse]

19 year old women are adults. That's pretty clear. It has nothing to do with pedophilia. That said, young women are generally annoying. Like for example you say stupid shit like what is contained in this question... Most guys above 30 don't want to listen to dumb crap like that.

[JustinTheGreat]

Yeah. I don’t see what a grown 40 year old would have in common with someone’s who’s basically fresh out of high school 😬

[Chthou95]

Then 18 year olds should not be allowed to join
the military, move out of their parents house nor have a bank account or see rated r movies because they're not old enough yet

[JustinTheGreat]

@Chthou95 Lol nobody said all that. But there’s a huge maturity difference between a 40 year old and a 19 year old. Your brain doesn’t stop developing till you’re 25. People under that age are still making immature decisions and there’s a power dynamic that a 40 year old would have over them 😬

[Chthou95]

Okay well if they break into your car or rob a bank, their actions are excused since they're still immature and their brains are developing

[JustinTheGreat]

@Chthou95 Bro that’s a completely different thing. Stop bringing up irrelevant comparisons and talk about the actual topic.
A 40 year old has no business trying to go after someone who just got out high school. I said what I said.

[Chthou95]

It is. Because if you're going to bring up immaturity and development then they're still not old enough to do a lot of things. If their brians aren't fully developed then that means they're young for a lot of things. And what if the 18 or 20 year olds want to date men like that?

[JustinTheGreat]

@Chthou95 It doesn’t matter if 18 year olds want to date men like that because the older person is the one with the power in that dynamic. Yes 18-25 year olds are adults but they’re still more easily manipulated and have less relationship/life experience than someone who’s older. Let’s be real, older men like to go after younger girls mainly bc they’re more “innocent” and naive

[JustinTheGreat]

@Chthou95 even as a 25 year old (almost), I would feel weird dating a 19 year old because even at my age the maturity difference is huge 😬

[Chthou95]

a lot of younger women like power. a lot of young 20 year olds like older men in their 40s because the power dynamic is attractive to them. An 18 year is old enough to make choices for herself except for who she's allowed to date and have sex with. Society has this weird view about dating and sex between a younger woman and an older man. There are cougars out there that chase young men in their early twenties but no one ever bats an eye about that which they really shouldn't. If they're over 18 who cares. And a lot of older men dont like older women because they're not as attractive as a younger woman and there's nothing wrong with that either. Just another reaching for a problem when nothing's there

[Chthou95]

And good for you. That's you. Don't use yourself as a way to say that other men shouldn't be doing it. That's you. You're not other men that want to date younger women in the late teens or early 20's.

[JustinTheGreat]

@Chthou95 It’s still weird and questionable regardless if it’s a man or a woman lol. I guess we gotta just agree to disagree but you’re not convincing me of anything lol

[Chthou95]

That's fine. That's best way. I disagree with you but we'll have to agree to disagree on this subject. Lates

[Haha456]

@Chthou95

relationships with large age gaps tend to be about sex and infatuation and don't tend to last. Only a very tiny portion of these relationships actually end up in marriage.

[Chthou95]

@Haha456 And if that's the case, so what?

[Haha456]

@Chthou95

Marriage data shows most young women actually end up marrying guys less than 10 years older and there is a reason for that. Relationships are more likely to work out and be less toxic when there isn't a power imbalance. People tend to relate and get along better with those who are around their own maturity level / stage in life.

A young girl may look up to a much older man for his experience and dominance and he may look up to her for her tight pussy and hot tits. but how much do they really have in common? not much

[Chthou95]

@Haha456 Let them learn that lesson. Thats not for you to decide. She's 18. As long as she's not underage it shouldn't be a problem

[Haha456]

@Chthou95

I'm not telling anyone what to do.

I'm just telling them what usually happens.

[Haha456]

@Chthou95

Usually its just a perverted relationship

[Chthou95]

@Haha456 Very tragic

[Haha456]

@Chthou95

why do you think society looks down to relationships with large age gaps?

well, this is the reason why.

[Chthou95]

@Haha456 Because society is weird about age. If they changed the legal age tomorrow to 25, anyone that'd be dating a 22 or 23 year old would be labeled a predator. Anything under 17 is obviously fucked up. But again the girl is 18. She's old enough to make choices for herself

[Haha456]

@Chthou95

In some countries , its legal for 9 yr olds marry 60 yr olds. Just cuz its "legal" it doesn't make it right.

Being a pervert is not socially acceptable.

[Haha456]

@Chthou95

The legal age in america was actually 21 until the vietnam war.

[Chthou95]

@Haha456 That's a child.
Now that's pedophilia an should be changed. But an 18 year old is different. You can't compare a 9 year old to an 18 year old

[Haha456]

@Chthou95

In the UK, the legal age is 16.

A 40 yr old dating a 16 or 18 year old literally feels like dating a child.

the only reason why someone that old is dating a kid is because he's taking advantage of her naivety and sexually.

[Chthou95]

@Haha456 a lot of men dont want date old hags past their prime that fooled around in their twenties and made them wait. Nothing wrong with not wanting left overs

[Haha456]

@Chthou95

Most young girls actually aren't looking for a man 15 years older than her. Just look at marriage statistics.

And plus, most 49 yr old men out there actually aren't interested in dating kids just for better sex. there's more to dating than just sex.

[Haha456]

@Chthou95

Men in their 40s tend to date women in their 30s. A 49 yr old man dating an 18 yr old would be like dating a child. Only perverts date kids

[Chthou95]

@Haha456 If men dont want to date left overs, that's okay. a lot of men when they're young have to bust their ass off when they're young to become attractive and soneone women want to date when they're older. It takes time and effort to become a high value man and if a man worked for that when he's older and wants to date a younger woman in her early twenties why shouldn't he?

[Haha456]

@Chthou95

Most older people tend to date older folks. Vast majority of young women tend to end up marrying young guys. Large age gaps aren't a common thing. Just check the marriage data.

You can make a marriage all about just pure money and sex. But not everyone is obsessed with money and sex like you. There is more to marriage than money and sex.

[Haha456]

@Chthou95

Young women like men in their prime, not old fat guys with hair loss and saggy balls and a bad knee. You can attract women with a lot of money. But it won't necessarily mean she loves you. Vast majority of men never hit that kind of wealth any ways which includes you

[Chthou95]

@Haha456 Use to. Talking about modern dating and modern times. Things are changing and with the technological advancements of the internet it's shifted even more. Most men are invisible to women and will have to compete against other men and out perform to get a chance. Men have to build their value. And yup there's more to it yet women are the ones that initiate most break ups and divorces. Men really shouldn't be getting married anymore since it really doesn't benefit men at all

[Haha456]

@Chthou95

what value do you have? if it was so easy to build "value", wouldn't all old men be married to women 30 years younger? continue dreaming, pervert.

Once you exit your prime, we won't be checking you out anymore. All your talks about "becoming the next jeff bezos" is just desperate dreams to make you feel better about losing it.

[Haha456]

@Chthou95

age gaps in relationships have actually declined, despite all the press about celebrity couples with large age differences.

In fact, according to data from the U. S. Census Bureau, the percentage of new female-male marriages has declined from 30% at 1900 to a little more than 10% in 1980 to a mere 3% today in 2021.

[Haha456]

www.cnn.com/.../index.html

[Chthou95]

@Haha456 Im working on my value everyday. Going to the gym consistently and working on my finances. And who said it's easy? Men have to bust their asses off to get to a point where they can start attracting women. It takes hard work but if you're consistent, it pays in the end

[Chthou95]

@Haha456 You dont have to be a Jeff besos but you need money to show that you can provide for her. Women are hypergamous by nature. Wether you accept it or not

[Haha456]

@Chthou95

hey dumbass, just beacause a woman is dating you for the $$, it doesn't mean she likes your or wants to be with you. She just wants to get paid.

its remarkable how some people rather date someone doesn't truly want them but only want their money instead of spending the rest of their lives with someone who actually loves them.

[You dont have to be a Jeff besos but you need money to show that you can provide for her. ]

Thats BS. No woman cares if you can afford a house and a car. They want men who can provide them a monthly allowance so they no longer have to work and go on shopping sprees. They want men who can afford to hire nannies, so they don't need to do anything all day. Women who like rich men do not want to work at a job or in the house. They want to enjoy a luxury dinner at a fancy restaurant and never have to pay a cent for it.

You don't seem to go out much. You probably just a broke pervert who fantasizes about teenage girls all day.

[Chthou95]

@Haha456 And this is why men and women aren't the same. We think diffrently and what what women say they want doesn't align with what actually attracts them. There's always conditions a person needs to have to be loved. Love between two people is never unconditional. Reality isn't a Disney movie sweet heart. And now you're throwing insults shocker 🙄. I stand by what i say and believe in and you just came to an old post just to start an argument at a left field

[Haha456]

@Chthou95

a woman being with you so she can get paid , is not a woman who loves you for who you are. there are plenty of low quality women out there who would accept to go out on a date just for a free meal at a nice resturant. But you're also a low quality man too. In your perspective, there's nothing more to dating than just sex. I would have no problem with you being taken advantage of for money. Except you just dont have the money

[Chthou95]

@Haha456 No shit its a free meal. Whos gonna turn that down. But you still need to have money as a man. Let's agree to disagree though. This shit has been dragging on long enough

[Haha456]

@Chthou95

so you rather go on a date with a hot bimbo who is just using you for a free meal than a less attractive girl who loves you for who you are?

it comes to show how shitty your values are as a person

[Chthou95]

@Haha456 Yup that's it. Lates ✌

[Haha456]

@Chthou95

I just feel really bad for you. At the end of the day, I don't think you're even looking for love. You're just looking for sex.

[Chthou95]

@Haha456 Yup that's it

[bamesjond0069]

I'm almost 36 and my girlfriend is 20. We been together 2 years just about now. It's normal. What I find weird is guys my age who date women my age. That seems so weird to me, like are they not even men? How do they not want a younger woman? That's what I find weird asf.

[D-Pad_Chad]

Adults in a consensual relationship, that's all that's needed to know for me to say you do you. Why. Jealous?

[Asker]

Why would I be jealous of people being disgusting?

[D-Pad_Chad]

Crabs in a bucket, got it. That's fine in 10-12 years you'll want this link. https://www.adoptapet.com/
I recommend rehomes or shelter animals.

[inhua]

weird? maybe but only due to it being outside the norm kinda like a short dude dating a tall gal or a fitness guru dating a plus size model.

[VikingWarLord]

This is normal in foreign countries like SE Asia and Eastern Europe.

Younger women love older men and vice versa. It's been like that for thousands of years. As long as they're both adults, whats the big fuuuckin deal?

[bigpink]

Not paedophilic but it would certainly get me eyebrows raised. I had a a situation like this less than a year ago and I had to physically step in - I’m not a violent person

[Fuentes]

No, but I would not date a 19 year old I find Gen Z to be very immature and strange.

[Chthou95]

An 18 year old girl can join the military, move out of her parents house and buy her own place, can take out a loan, can have her own job, can watch rated R movies but she's not allowed to date older men? This is looking for a problem when there's nothing there

[Chthou95]

You don't like an opinion that doesn't align with yours so of course you're downvoting even though its legal

[Asker]

I didn't down vote it

[TroyDT2]

They are adults so what they consent to is none of my business.

[PizzaPieMamaBear]

I’m 40 and with a 21 year old guy I’m not saying nothing to nobody

[Anonymous]

If both of them like each other then it doesn't matter. Women have a crazy list too in a partner, sometimes to fulfill that list, men have to work hard for a long time. It's fair for them too to have a preference for women.

[Hulk30]

me personally even though legally it's the age of consent i feel like at 39 myself as long as your sexually involved with someone 20 or older then it's morally right

[Anonymous]

Definitely not the norm, but not weird. Yes she could be a gold digger, but that's not pedophilia.

[panamared1]

no, why would it be, mutual attraction does not see age

[fonduegirl]

Definitely! Xx

[Anonymous]

It's not pedophilia, by definition.

[Thotkiana]

That’s the one guy in here

[Brando10222]

It's mostly lust from his side

[Luckycharms12]

If there happy and of age doing nothing wrong.

[Sabretooth]

it's a fear of growing up.

[Phil1234567890]

Enjoy it