Is it dumb to have a crush on someone whos out of my league?

[Anonymous]

Updates

+1 y

okay so i noticed that a lot of people were asking for more backround info!! So this guy i'm interested in, we've been friends for years and i've liked him since i met him but i didn't think he liekd me back until recently. He is a gentleman, has all the good qualitys a guy should have, and is SO frsking cute. he could pull anyone from his college. I dont have a low opinion of myself! I just think that since he could pull anyone, why wouldn't he go for someone who is prettier, or smarter, etc.

[Weapon77]

Yes and no. Dumb is harsh. I would say it's a waste of energy. But it largely depends on what you mean by "out of your league." If you are a nice person, no matter how gorgeous the other person is, if they are a jerk, then they are likely BELOW your league.

How are defining this though? Is the issue that you see this perosn as super physically attractive while you see yourself as ugly? Because that might be more of an issue of you working on appreciating who you are. While someone who is a pro or college or olypmic athlete is definitely out of the league of someone who is overweight, that can easily be fixed in a matter of a few months to a year. Who knows, that might be all it takes to be in their league! I'd just like a few more details before I say more if you don't mind. Like how am I supposed to assess what league you and the person you are talking about would be in? Physically? Popularity? Specifics, please.

[Asker]

i just updated above^^ thanks for the awesome advice!!

[Weapon77]

I see! Well the only thing to do in that case is just go for it. You can try group activities forst if you are nervous, but you'll really just have to let him know how you feel and see how he feels.

The whole thing about thinking why wouldn't he go for someone smarter or prettier is usually baseless because you are biased about him. Often times you might be perceiving him as better than he is because you like him. But also, how do you know what he likes unless you ask him? We all have different taste. And here is a secret that a lot of girls don't know or refuse to believe: only fuck boys go for the prettiest girl all the time. Some guys do prefer smarter girls, and all guys want to be physically attracted to their gal, but there is a lot more too it. Some guys like short girls, some like tall, some like muscular, some like softer, some like toned, some like certain hair or eye colors, and that's just physical stuff. Things like your sense of hunor and how kind you are matter to guys and earn "points." Honestly though, perhaps the main thing that will put you ahead of most girls is being DRAMA FREE. Some guys will reject or dump girls ONLY because the girl is constantly making mounyains out of mole hills.

I say just give it your best shot, and if you are lacking confidence, exercise is a great way to boost that before you try. Good luck

[YourFavoriteFriend]

Hm! I would like to be the sound of logic this time! From one corner, no, you are not! First of all, you are free to like anyone you like and you shouldn't feel like you are not good enough. In a lot of cases, asking out the guy, you may found that he may like you as well so there aren't really any "leagues" out there but just in our head.

At the same time, it has been said a lot of times that a lot of girls are rejecting most guys and waiting for Mr. Perfect to arrive and fall for them so in this case it would be bad. But in your case I don't think that it's that so I looks fine to me.

[BlueScorpio]

No, you are allowed to crush or have feelings towards someone even if you know it might not work out. I did it all the time lol

[Summeroflove]

Nahhh. You’re the only one limiting yourself.

[WonderBell99]

I’ve had tons of crushes who were way out of my league, lol. Do you want to talk to them?

[WonderBell99]

How old are you? And how old is he? If he is in college and you’re in high school, I would not recommend making a move on him. Depending on the laws in your state (assuming you’re from the US) he could get in serious trouble.

[Asker]

he's in PSEO, so he's technically a senior in hs. we're only a year apart

[WonderBell99]

Ah, that’s fine. It’s only a year.

Why don’t you try striking up a conversation with him? I don’t really believe in the concept of leagues. Just because someone is super attractive does not mean that they wouldn’t find you attractive. Chances are, they might be open to something romantic with you. Just go with the flow and talk to him. The biggest risk in life is not taking a risk!

[Kaneki05]

Depends how out of league really. Would say all my ex's have been out of mine but only a couple of them were way out of mine, and then I know obviously aiming for someone who's a model would be pointless lol.

Insecurity often leads people to date some below their league. So in a way one kinda has to hope they are.

[Spiritofn]

Your just one lottery ticket away from becoming the real deal. Just know if you ever do get rich though, try and understand life like how someeone on welfare has to live day to day and if you can budget hardcore, you'll be out of his league.

But there's more ways too people's hearts then money. Get a "silver medal" or bronze medal" you don't have to be #1 you just have to be good enough..

[irifebeck]

No, having a crush is totally natural! You can’t help who you crush on, even if they’re out of your league, doesn’t mean they don’t deserve you.

[nolabels]

It's not 'dumb' at all.

Crush and get over it if it goes nowhere.

Being realistic about expectations should be considered in order to prevent you from getting too hung up on your crush.

Have fun crushing!

[Twalli]

What attracts you is not under your direct control. I don't think I am that attractive, in terms of looks I am sure my girlfriend could do better. Yet, for whatever reason, she found me attractive. So he is only out of your league in your mind. Maybe he finds you the most attractive person he knows.

[Tennessee_fan]

No just don't throw your time away waiting on them live your life and don't let it stop you from getting to know or liking someone that would treat you the way you want to be treated

[TroyDT2]

No. I ignore the "leagues" idea. You'd be shocked how many people whom you might think are "out of" your league would be open to dating.

[Strangerdanger2120]

No it's normal. Only the crush can decide if your out of his league or not. He could think your out of his league.

[FilmGuy93]

No, just make sure that you are keeping your game on point, so you have the best chance of locking him down.

[artsy_dragon]

I honestly miss being a teenager, life is so much simpler 😂

[Dat-Alpha-Lion]

Nah you can have that crush. It’s what you do with that crush that’ll make or break you.

[Dat-Alpha-Lion]

Go ask him to hang out. Then touch your hand on his hand.

[BJP21]

Its ok, I crush on sugar mommas all the time.

[joeldalton]

There's no such thing as 'leagues'. Go for it.

[Anonymous]

Not so long as you accept that it'll never be mutual.

[Vikkrram]

Is this guy older to you?

[Asker]

by one year, yes. he just turned 18 and i'm almost 17

[bubblegunnn]

Ofc, u crushin him tho, go for it

[Anonymous]

It's harmless as long you just keep it yourself.

[Agape93]

Nope that's pretty normal

[Smoothing]

What do you mean by out of your league?

[BarryLiverstone]

No it’s not. But have you talked to them?

[Asker]

yessss a LOT

[BarryLiverstone]

And do you all have things in common?

[Anonymous]

There is no such thing as leagues.

[Pterodon]

I don’t believe in leagues

[Fuentes]

It's just a crush

[Anonymous]

Only if it becomes an obsession.

[EaterPeter]

Nope

[Joker_]

kinda

[NIGHTCAT12]

No I do all the time

[Anonymous]

no..