Is a 3 year age gap between me and my boyfriend inappropriate?

[Anonymous]

I'm 16 and he's 19. Like I've seen someone else post that they were 15 and their boyfriend was 20 or something which I think is a bit weird. But I'm not sure if it's the same for me

[DaveJord]

I do not know what state you are in, but in the State of California you are a minor and he is an adult. So, he is committing a felony crime if you are having romantic relations, if your parent turns him in, or if things go sour between the two of you... you could press charges against him. He could be guilty of statutory rape, child abuse and/or other sex offender type crimes.

In other states the legal age of consent is 16, but still even with that you're technically a minor and he is an adult. So, he is putting himself at risk.

This is one of those ethical situations for me... because I was a senior in Highschool at 18 years old, and I was dating a sophomore who was 15. At the time there was a clause in the law that said as long as there was not more than a 4-year gap in age, it was legal.

a 3-year gap is not a huge deal... I mean am what's the difference between 16 and 19 compared to 20 and 23, or 33 and 36? So morally and ethically I do not see the issue, but legally he is at greater risk because you are a minor, and ethically it really depends on the laws of your state.

But morally I see nothing wrong here.

[NamerOfStars]

No- but it might be dicey, legally speaking. Look up the laws in your area; many places have exceptions to age of consent statutes (known informally as "Romeo and Juliet laws", which is strange, since age wasn't their issue). Now, the only problem is with sexual activity, so you might think you could avoid any trouble by just not having sex, but even if you DID that, a lot of authority figures wouldn't believe it, and you can't really prove that you didn't have sex...

So, learn the laws, and work out a solution. Two years from now, and for as long as you live afterwards, it won't be a problem.

[ShellyB]

tbh it is a big difference at those ages. I would really question why a 19 year old guy would want a 16 year old girlfriend. It is questionable.

By the time you are in your 20s that is not a big age gap and is no problem in my opinion.

[EmmaMary]

There was almost three years difference between me and my first real boyfriend, I was sixteen and he was just a few months short of being nineteen.

Strangely enough, there is almost the same difference between me and my husband!

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[Price511]

There is a major difference between 15 and 20 compared to 16 and 19; I’ve had a 3 year age gap relationship before as a sophomore, and it wasn’t bad. But I don’t do anything larger than a 2 year gap down and a 3 year gap up. I’d say you’re morally ambiguous at worst and completely fine at best when it comes to this age gap, but any more and I’d have a little bit of a problem with it, as I’ve had situations where those who are more mature take advantage of those who are not, and quite frankly it disgusts me.

[Aggon1998]

It is fine since you'll both age and the gap relatively becomes smaller.

But personally I think it's a bit young to date at this age, also for him. At your age I didn't know what love meant. I will advice you to wait with anything physical until you know for sure that this is the man you want to grow old with. Marriages where the woman had only one sexual partner in the past are generally the happiest marriages, both for the wife and the husband.

I understand that you will feel greatly attracted. But if you have given virginity, you can't go back. Maybe this is an opinion with more than the answer than you've asked for.

But that is just my opinion, I wish you both happiness and I would go for it if your heart tells you that it's right.

[YourFavoriteFriend]

"Like I've seen someone else post that they were 15 and their boyfriend was 20"

Don't do that, don't give me hope!

No, your age gap is completely fine if he is a guy that seems to love you and not just want to have sex with you. Of course, if you decide to have sex, you should be careful of the age of consent in your country. Also, society will seethe and want to break you up so take notice of that.

[TripleAce]

Personally at 16 I would of found 19 too Old. Because at 16 it’s a whole different world vs someone 19 who is not in the high school zone anymore. It feels like 10 years older. One is underaged. The other is legal age. So adding that in as well makes the gap worlds apart

usually I dated the same age of just a one year difference max at 15-16 ish

[TheSpaceGnome]

As long as you don't do anything sexual for at least a couple years, no. That age gap is trivial and will have zero impact on your relationship.

[doodledee]

I think it depends on the ages but that seems fine to me. I'm 15 and my boyfriend is 18.

[boggboss]

In cases like this the age difference is not the issue but the age u are at is

[loveslongnails]

The difference in years itself isn't an issue at all. If you live in the USA, which state or states do you both reside in?

[Anonymous]

Age gaps at that age are enormous. Mental maturity-wise.

[jayhams]

Depending on where you live he can get in trouble. At that age 3 years is a big gap.

[HugeDikEng]

Well he is an adult and you are a minor. So I would say yes, why the fuck is he dating a child? He must be a pedo? Red flag.

[Agape93]

It's inappropriate and potentially a felony.

[Blackcupcake]

yes… he should NOT be dating an underage

[Nahid1707]

It’s your first relationship

[Asker]

Yeah it is

[TallAnon]

It's fine, but on the edge.

[In_Trance]

It is if you think it is

[misogynistic_pig]

No.

.

[Anonymous]

When someone is under 18; yes. Otherwise it isn't.

[BJP21]

Nope.

[Snedger____]

We've 4.5 gap

[MadKez]

It's fine

[panamared1]

Should be fine