Starting to feel distant, am I wrong?

[Anonymous]

I am 19, and my boyfriend is 29. We have been dating for 2 1/2 years and lived together for 2 years. This first year he went out every other day and drank and I stayed home. He used to take 50% of my money because he “worked” for me. (He doesn’t anymore) he was really mean to me the first part of our relationship but I stuck with it. I resent myself for not leaving then and resent him for what he did. He started to cool down because he’s broke. I made him get his own job and he make 2k a month. I have always paid the bills and majority of everything. I have to give him running money a lot because he’s broke after paying his bills. He’s sweet to me now but I’m just not attracted to being with him anymore or at least right now. I feel like we rushed things and he never wants to take me out in a date because it is not fun with just him drinking (his words) he says he’s waiting until I’m 21 to hangout and take me out seriously all the time. I’m just not into anymore. I wish I had my own space. I have to cry to him about washing dishes or giving me money to help. He thinks we are both happy but I’m so mentally drained.

[QuadDamage]

He's a grown child. On the contrary be happy you never married him, he is in his primal age... he should feel ashamed living of a 10 year younger person. When he is so young still himself.

That is all I will say without knowing the backstory, best of luck.

[Guy13]

Never move-in unless married NO MATTER how good it feels. You still have joint accounts by address…lease utilities etc.

[Asker]

100% agree

[Guy13]

At least you learned this early instead of 25-30. I’ve seen some nightmares on the “getting out” side. Personalities and “who DHAT “ emerge. New numbers, new contacts…. a death of a whole life from what I’ve seen. If one person knew either one of the couple they were off her contacts list…

[QuadDamage]

Agree with G13, I have seen people waste 10 years between 20 to 30 just to never get anywhere close to what a "normal" relationship should be.

It's easy when you're young. Come my age and still you gotta do that relationship reboot... sucks. You've spent so many years with someone else you barely know who you are solo. And you're 35 😂.

Don't sit around and wait for a person that won't buckle up and change. No matter how nice the dude is. I wish I hadn't for sure!

[Sevenpointfive]

when i was with my under 21 girls i would always make it a point to tell the waiter in a way that made it okay for her to be able to drink with me if she wanted to. but it was never a problem if she didn't. maybe there is a bigger problem here?

[Asker]

I like your way, & I am sure there is so many things go unspoken because he’s the type to not express himself. Very awkward considering we live together

[Sevenpointfive]

does he have a drinking problem?

[Asker]

Well he definitely has at least 2 or 3 drinks when he sees a friend. He only drinks to feel something so just having 1 is pointless to him. I say he does but is unable to drink as much as he used to which was getting DRUNK, just because he doesn’t have enough money.

[Sevenpointfive]

if i were you i'd move on from this guy. he's not serious about you or life in general

[Anonymous]

Yeahhh