Is there a balance? Either I'm too distant or too clingy.

[Anonymous]

I can't seem to figure it out. I'm at first usually paying attention to daily life and am I guess not prioritizing my relationships enough

I am called names making people cry for being cold when all I'm doing is focusing on making a life for myself

And when I make the other person first I'm treated like sh*t and feel horrible and depressed all the time. I feel guilty and spend all the time not doing anything being devoted to show I care because it hurts when you love someone and they feel unloved by you

But they just treat you like your clingy and have no life. (I have been told that by the same person who cried about me putting other things first like religion, friends, homelessness)

I'm still with this guy what do I do? Is it true some men don't really know what they want? This happens in every relationship friends family you name it what's my problem?! Am I crazy?

I just really love and care about people and I don't want them to feel neglected I guess I'm really nurturing but its bad its like I have to keep myself busy I almost hate people if I get too close I become consumed by them :( and always end up feeling abused

T.T also unrelated but I wanna get married and have babies it's driving me crazy lol

[toulouse]

clingy is a derogatory term, its also realiv not absolute, people use it to put other people down for caring more than they do or fir being able to care when they can not. or can not admit it.

if your family and friends and relationship call you clingy it doesn't mean something is wrong with u.

no reason to assume everyone else is normal.

our family has issues with intimacy and you are attracted to similar types because you want to be accepted.

a very nurturing perso is not called clingy by people who have a healthy emotional stability.

id avoid people who put you down for caring.

whn the guy got upset in the first place he was upset because you were not allowing him to feel like you're clingy and hs tough. which is the position he wanted to be in... as you ultimately saw . for yourself. e can't call you clingy if you're distant. now he's happy complaining about what he wanted to complain about in the first.

i would reevaluate my relationship and other priorities... do you really want someone telling you that you're pathetic for caring?

there are many respectful ways to rationally discuss how you and your partner would like to divide your time between your rel and other things.. there's no need to resort to shaming simply because there are different tendencies or desires. its ugly. imo.

if this is how he speaks to you now what will he say to childrn who psychologically need affection.. marry if you want- but not this guy.

[madhatters4]

there is definitely a balance. everything in moderation

but I'd also wonder if the boyfriend simply is going to complain about whatever he's getting. I mean how can you complain about both sides of the coin.

[Distant]

You seem too clingy but, when trying not to be clingy, you overshoot it and become too distant (no pun intended).