I keep my distance. Is it bad that I do this?

[Anonymous]

When I first get into a relationship (like casual dating), I don't want to come off as clingy to the guy so I keep my distance. It's not so much that I'm trying to play a game, but I'm afraid that I will come off too strong and scare him away.

Is this wrong? And is there any way to know if I am coming off as clingy or annoying to a guy? Thanks.

[LukeLockehart]

Being distant can be dangerous because it is very possible you will scare away a good guy. Guys are easily defeated, and if he feels you're not into him, he may just give up...

Some basic guidelines to not show neediness could be:

Never text or call more than he does... and make him initiate it more than you

Never ask him where things are going, or talk about the future, this scares guys off, even when we wanted a future. We spook easily...

The best way to be distant that makes a guy want and desire you more, is to not always be available whenever he wants to see you.

The biggest turn on to me, is a girl who has her own life. If I call a girl to ask her to hang out, and she tells me she would love to but she's got yoga or she's staying in to read, that is such a turn on. She has her own life and isn't dependent on me. It makes me value the time I have with her more...

Alot of girls think that being emotionally distant is the answer, while they're always physically available to him.

The opposite is the answer... Be emotionally available but not always physically available. When you're with him let some of your walls down, let him in a bit, and he will really like you.

Jarrod

[Asker]

thanks :)

[Lysaght]

Just relax don't go confessing love or talking about the future... if he compliments you or it's moving at a nice pace show a little back.

[moosh]

Well you don't want to come off as if you don't like him. Coming on too strong would be telling him you really really like him on the first date.

[Zell16]

There is no general rule of thumb, a lot of guys don't like "clingyness" but some also like it. Depends on the kind of guy he is. You just have to somehow read him and then make you decision as to which path to follow accordingly.

[ItalianBro]

Dont talk about kids, marriage, and the future.