Girls, Have you ever lost attraction for a guy because he was 'too available'?

[Still-alive]

Like he works but anytime he isn't working he tries to make as much time for you as possible. he responds super quick to all your texts and seems to make most of his free time around you.

Ever lose your attraction over a guy who just seemed 'too available?'

Yes i did lose attraction over guy seeming too available to me

No i actually appreciated a guy who was very available to me

This has never been a factor in whether or not im attracted to a guy

[melanieeeB]

Yesss many times!!!

I need time to get used to someone and I'm pretty cold in the beginning, so if he is immediately in and texting all the damn time or like he is responding within minutes everytime I text him first I think to myself does he not have a life? No friends, family or hobbies? Is he always on his phone? And I just back off! It's way to fast for me.
Also I had a long ass friendship with someone who had multiple mental health issues and she was kinda dependent on me and I never want that again! So it's really important to me that he has his own ass life, especially when I just met him I shouldn't be his main prioritym.. yet.
That was some detailed explanation, wasn't it lmaooo

[AmandaYVR]

B. Never lost attraction.

It's great. If you both really dig each other, then why hold back?

No games. That's what I say.

But I can be a greedy gopher. I want more, more, more, ha.

[Still-alive]

some girls just feel too smothered if the guy is always texting them i guess lol.

[AmandaYVR]

People can feel smothered, yes, but your question is does she lose attraction to him because of the frequent contact. And that ultimately depends on how she feels about him.
But you're right, there are some who need to feel like the guy is not available. And that's pretty sad, really, when you think about it.
Maybe it's more about the fact that some people need a lot of time to themselves. That's understandable.
I do, from strangers, groups. But not from a man who is new in my life, and we are both equally enamoured with one another. Then bring it on.

[moonpie89]

Hmm I have mixed feelings about that. Sounds good because my schedule is crazy with all my activities outside of work so it's nice that he can be flexible around my schedule. On the other hand I'm thinking he shouldn't be prioritizing me over whatever things he needs to do because depending on the situation it can come off as him being clingy.

[Still-alive]

can you give an example of how it might come off as clingy?

[moonpie89]

Don't go out of your way making time for me when I'm not making the same effort. If I'm into you I'll make time for you and can fit you in better because I want to.

It all depends on how you go about it and how our vibes are with each other. Constantly wanting to hang out with me and you trying to fit yourself into my plans.
All depends though sometimes I don't mind it and other times I'm like can you give me some space

[Still-alive]

so on the flip side how would you feel if he was the busier one than you and you have a limited time to really talk as much? he hardly texts you or calls himself. think you'd hate that? or would you be ok with that because of your schedule?

[moonpie89]

I'm busy but I always make time for texts and calls. I'm sure he can talk on the way to work or whatever. I wouldn't like the lack of communication but I could tolerate the being busy part. Makes you value what time you have together.

[Still-alive]

so do you think you'd prefer that to a guy whos more available and a tad more clingy?

[moonpie89]

I don't know lol. All depends on the guy and my feelings etc.

[Rania05]

I think that would make me very happy and try do the same, I'm a Pisces and we need more attention to make good relationship with someone whether friendship or romantic, and though I don't believe much in astrology that's point is especially true for me

[Ninania]

Yes, I've dated guys who'd push me to spend more time with them, disregarding my boundaries and need for personal space.
I'm all for eagerness as long as it's respectful. Emotional manipulation, on the other hand, has no fucking place in my life.

[Still-alive]

can you give an example of a guy who disrespected your boundaries or space? how did he do it?

[Ninania]

Pushing me to make plans, not taking no for an answer, expecting me to cancel other plans for them, making all my actions about them and playing the victim whenever I didn't have enough time or energy to satiate their need for attention.

[Still-alive]

sounds like a passive aggressive dude right there. am i right? was he?

[Ninania]

I'm not talking about ONE dude, I'm talking about several dudes I've dated. The common theme is that they can't comfort themselves and think that attaching that responsibility to someone else is the only way to have their needs met.
Codependency is really toxic, yet completely normalised.

[Still-alive]

so you prefer a guy who doesn't depend on you for comfort? you'd rather he get that on his own?

[Ninania]

I don't mind comforting my loved ones, but I shouldn't be solely responsible for other people's emotions.

[Still-alive]

and this is what these dudes were doing? making you fully responsible for their emotions?

[Ninania]

Yes, by playing the victim every time I set a boundary for myself.

[sasquatch111]

I think it's great. It shows he's interested and is making an effort. I don't like games, so if a guy blows hot and cold I assume he isn't into me and tell him to GTFO. Ofc, if he's love bombing, that's a whole other problem. But for the most part I find it awesome!

[Minahh]

It has never been a factor. My ex was not available emotionally basically at all and I still deeply fell for him, broke my heart in the end, but probably it was just my trauma. My guy I'm seeing is young, in college and doesn't quite know what he wants, unlike me, but I'm giving him time where it goes because he seems like a nice person so far.

[4ngelic]

them being often available isn't a problem, being clingy is

[Still-alive]

Whats an example of a guy being too clingy to you?

[4ngelic]

like if he texts me non stop/ always trying to contact me all the time, getting pissed if i dont reply to every right that second, getting mad or being a dramaqueen if i dont spend all my time with him, wants to go everywhere with me just to be sure i dont get hit on, wants to always be there when im with guy friends, that kind of thing

[Faith18letsgo]

I like it when’s someone’s available but not when they’re clingy and have nothing else to do.

[Still-alive]

can you give an example of when he acts 'clingy?'

[Faith18letsgo]

Constantly asking to hang out. Like for me more the one no a week.

[petitedollbabee]

No, if anything that makes me more attracted to him. I’m a very clingy person. If they were ignoring me or not making time for me then that’s when I’d become no longer attracted.

[menina]

I've never had this problem and I wouldn't be upset if he was "too available". In fact, that would be good because it would tell me that he was really interested in me.

[CrazyGirl2]

As the poll stated, I MUCH prefer a guy who is more available to me. Both with his time, AND emotionally!