What makes a person intimidating?

[melanieeeB]

I read this so often on here and I honestly don't understand it... like I have felt intimidated before but it was just this one girl who bullied me in 5th - 7th grade and I turned that shit around and I was even on her wedding last year haha but I can't remember ever feeling intimidated by a man 🤔
So what makes a person intimidating to you? What is it?

Updates

1 y

Well what about in terms of Dating tho? 😂

Updates

1 y

Yeah sure! But it's a good insight and makes me understand it a little more

[NathanDavis]

to me, nothing... I don't feel intimidated by people

even if they're actually trying to be intimidating as in, antagonizing threat.. it's like something is broken inside lmao, because I just don't feel "intimidated" or perhaps, is just the places I've been to and how life can be around here, there's stuff and people you have to be wary of sure, but that's more about being cautious, aware, having respect rather than being frightened by then... so I am just very used to it

and then, there is also that other kind of intimidating as in feeling in awe or overly impressed, intimidated by someone... perhaps that is very attractive, very smart, very confident, or all of that and more, any "higher status" situation going on, I believe that can come from a certain feeling of insecurity or a lack of confidence or lack of experience, or something that can make you feel overwhelmed by someone's presence, I don't have that either, not anymore...

I spent a whole lot of years feeling like that though, I was extremely shy as a child, so literally, everyone could possible make me feel intimidated lmao... but that was something I worked on for years and also something I managed to get through, by exposure and experiencing all that anxiety and panic over the years, it did all go away eventually, so nowadays, I just do not feel any of that anymore

[melanieeeB]

I really like that answer and I definitely agree with the lack of confidence part lol
Great that you worked on that for that many years🙏🏼 it's a big accomplishment

[NathanDavis]

since age 6... till age 16 or so

that was quite a journey lol... slowly but surely

[melanieeeB]

Great things take time haha🙏🏼

[NathanDavis]

lol, right... and they are very much worth

[inhua]

intimidating is a matter of perspective for each individual. it's not always the other person but it could be a group of people surrounding the individual or the situation.

a hot girl alone is not intimidating but when she's surrounded by several vicious betas posing as alphas, it's a little different. individually they are not intimidating but as a large collective, they can pose a threat much like an individual ant vs an army of ants.

a 5'4 military drill sergeant alone might not be intimidating on the streets but in a boot camp surrounded by other pissed-scared recruits, it can be overwhelming when he asserts his dominance and sets the atmosphere of the place.

[AmandaYVR]

A person can feel intimidated because they are impressed with the person, so they don't want to embarrass themselves in front of that person. Ideally, they would like to be liked by that person. (But you can't be liked if you aren't known, and you can't be known if you don't speak.)

But a person being intimidating could also mean that they are physically imposing in stature. Or they've built up their body to be strong and look powerful.

Or it could be about demeanour - that they are doing something actively, toward others, emoting, giving off a certain vibe, or what they say, and these are all active on their part, and nothing to do with those around them, necessarily.

So there's three ways to interpret this word and concept.

[AmandaYVR]

Re: your update

A lot of pinks on here seem to talk about this topic, of pinks being "intimidating." But the guys almost unanimously disagree.

But if you want to talk about the plausibility of being intimidated in dating then...
It's probably more about what the other person feels, not what the first person is putting out there. Although, some might seem aloof, or reserved, or quiet yet very confident, and that can feel intimidating, or something akin to that, to the other. Have you ever heard this theory that introverts are judgmental? They're judging people? That's not necessarily true, accurate, but apparently there's this feeling out there, by extroverts, that introverts are judging.
Maybe there could possibly be a link here, between people who don't speak that much, and how they are perceived by others. But ONLY when they are confident. Shyness, we often pick up on, right? But not speaking, looking intelligent, confident, self-assured, and not talking... those people are sometimes seen as suspect, or just 'too good' to talk to. Some others might feel in a position of having to impress them. But why do that? Because they like them. ? Maybe. Or maybe some people have a built-in need to be liked, regardless of whether they actually like the people back.

But you want to talk about dating. The short answer is - someone is impressed by another, and they immediately measure themselves up to them, and question, "Am I good enough for this person?" And that is very, very human.

[melanieeeB]

Man that's some amazing explanation, thank you! Also thanks for taking your time!

It definitely makes sense now, my coworker told me weeks ago about his tinder date and that he found her intimidating and I asked a bunch of questions if it was her looks, clothes etc about stuff she was putting out but he answered with just I don't know I can't tell you haha but yeah I guess it must be a personal feeling then🤔

[AmandaYVR]

Thanks and you're welcome!

[letuswaltzforthedead]

In general, just a man much taller and stronger than me would be intimidating. Usually I'm self aware enough for it not to effect me too much. I just don't want to get beaten up.

In terms of dating, probably just someone much out of my league and much more popular.

[Guy13]

I have never had this issue. 5th-University scholarship sports rids one of this sort of Concern. That being said:

Threat of violence signs in their interaction that leads one to believe that they mean it. Too perfect and Nice.

[Chazmatazz269]

A person needs to be willing and able to do a great deal of harm to me in order to intimidate me. I’m not easily intimidated because you have to be prepared to receive a great deal of harm in return. I look like i can and do hurt people, and i can live down to that expectation too easily.
I haven’t been intimidated by another person’s social status or value in decades. People who feel that are responding more to their own inadequacies than the other person’s status. They should seek professional help for their self esteem issues and do the necessary work to realize their own status and value. Then all of that goes away.

[Wicked_Witch]

I’m intimidated by anyone larger than me. So basically everyone, lol.

As far as dating, I am intimidated by guys I subconsciously feel are out of my league. Either because of their looks or their confidence and personality.

[melanieeeB]

Okay, that's pretty interesting🤔

[Wicked_Witch]

Obviously this is only my perspective, though!

[Alex8736]

living in the city my whole life, I have seen and witnessed a lot of messed up sh*t but something my grandfather taught me was to keep my mouth shut and if you involuntary see or hear things that don't concern me to turn a blind eye and keep on moving. one thing i didn't know was when i had a lot on my mind people i knew wouldn't approach me due to the fact my facial expression was intimidating.

[exitseven]

If someone is physically a lot bigger than I am and has the reputation as a bad dude I might be intimidared.

[exitseven]

Re update: I might be intimidated dating a girl who came from a wealthy family. I was a poor slob and would probably think that there was no way I could compete with that.

[melanieeeB]

Ah yeah I get that, I used to not date wealthy men in the past for that reason too but just cause I didn't think it would fit lol

[JDavid25]

In terms of dating just, someone you feel is too far above your league.. It can be anything you deem is important and would be impressive to you on a person..

[Msputiton]

Maybe someone had trauma.

That could cause people to be intimidated, or growing up were taught to think that way

[Z1pTD]

I don't know ab intimidating but the thing that's most likely to make me give a guy respect and leave him alone completely is if he's just fucking quiet but is actually good with people but also won't back tf down

[Agape93]

When you recognize someone as a potential threat that you cannot handle

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Being bullied by bullies at school, taking verbal abuse from my dad

[CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS]

In terms of dating, someone who is way out of my league.

[PeterLegg91]

Someone with scars on their face or when someone stares at you In a not so nice way

[PeterLegg91]

If the girl is out of my league and is attractive 😂

[DizzyDesii]

Their facial expression

[HugeDikEng]

Having a big fat dick makes you pretty intimidating.

[Anonymous]

Nothing. Intimidation comes from not enough belief in yourself.

[Danny_dan92]

Their physical capabilities

[ItsMykolaJenkins]

CONFIDENCE... KNOWING YOU ARE THE BEST

[Shy_Steve]

Usually the way a person looks and acts.