Do you think women date men who resemble their father both psychologically and physically?

Question

It may not be a specific choice, but could it be a subconscious thought of women?

Weapon77 · Accepted Answer

You are correct about the subconscious/instinctual aspect, but it's a bit more complicated. Women don't just pick a guy like their father. Physically, there is a lot of variation and you'll have Latinas marrying Chinese men, white girls marrying black men, and all sorts of matches. Psychologically, however, the father is very important. Basically, it first depends on what the girl's relationship with her father was like. If it was bad (abusive, neglectful, etc.), she'll lean more toward picking a guy who is almost the opposite of her father OR she'll accidentally choose a narcissist and risk abuse. Basically, if her father was bad, absent, or non-existent, she'll likely find a husband who is as bad or worse or only SLIGHTLY better than her father. But if her relationship with her father was good or even great, she'll look for a guy who shares key traits with her father, but her instincts will drive her toward a guy EVEN BETTER than her father. If her father was kind and smart but not in great shape, she'll look for a similar guy who is in even better shape or who shares more of her interests--someone she can admire.

I'll give some examples. A friend of mine married a guy who is a lot like her father in personality, but he is MUCH more intelligent than her father was, and that is likely because she is also smarter than her father was. Her husband is built somewhat like her father, but he is blonde with blue eyes while her father had brown and brown. Then there is my sister who married a guy who is EXTREMELY similar to my father (college athlete-turned-coach, loves animals and weigtlifting, gambling problem lol, and similar personality). But her husband is even taller than my father. Then again, her father was a better athlete and is way smarter, so it's not exact. But physically, her father is black/red hair with blues eyes (1/8 Choctaw) with white skin. Her husband is 1/8 Comanche with darker skin, black hair, and hazel eyes. I have more examples, but that gives you a clue what I mean.

Also, keep in mind that the physical part often depends on how much the daughter looks like her father. I am quite a hit with girls who are mixed race and their fathers were Asian, Latino, or black for some reason. While girls whose fathers were blonde, for instance, tend to marry someone who is anything besides blonde.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

LOL yes I have to agree with this because I dated a younger girl that said I looked like her Dad , I was a little weirded out by it but she showed me
Pictures of him and I was laughing cuz I did resemble her Dad , but I would
Tease her and say You want to Fuck your Dad? She said she doesn’t want to fuck him that’s why she is fucking me , That was kind of Hot lol But it’s so true about girl’s having Mommy and Daddy issues, if a Dad or Mom isn’t in the picture or doesn’t become a big part of her life stay away from that girl , cuz she is so lost and she totally needs to get some help , I dated
Girls that grew up without a father or a mother
In their life and they were all selfish cheating girls that Didn’t know what was right from wrong, It was their way or no way , So guys
Find yourself a girl that grew up with both her parents that guided her , Girls’ that were raised by a single parent, I’m sorry but truth hurts , Go seek help before getting into a relationship with a man , you aren’t a bad person , you were just unguided and had a lot weight thrown at you as a child , you didn’t know any better , it’s really not
Your fault it was just how you were raised , your single parent depended on you to much when you were a child , making you become selfish , For a relationship to work between 2 people you both have to remove selfishness for each other and understand that you can’t always be right and they are wrong , With my experiences with girls that grew up with a single parent all turned bad , because they only look at things their way they can’t see things from the other way , until she learns how to remove selfishness she should not be in a relationship just my opinion

KoolKita · Accepted Answer

Absolutely! This has happened so many times it's hilarious.

One of my friends had a crush on this guy, and he felt the same way. She later noticed that he looked a lot like her dad, while she looked a lot like his mom.

Another case, one of my friends had a guy who had a major crush on her, and we thought that (besides for the fact that she was perfect) it was because she looked a lot like his mom.

Also, to put a cherry on top, I had a crush on a guy, and I noticed it was because he had dark hair like my dad. He ended up feeling the same right away, and I noticed it was because his mom and eldest sister had the same really long red hair as me. 😅

CrazyGirl2 · Accepted Answer

Yes! Just like i believe that men look for women who are like their mothers, and there is nothing wrong with that. Now OBVOIUSLY not every woman looks for a guy like her dad, and not every man looks for a woman like his mom, we are all different. But in psychology we look for trends, not the exceptions. And women TREND towards men who somehow reming us of our fathers, just like men TREND towards seeking women who in someway remind them of their mothers.

DaveJord · Answer

I would absolutely agree with this statement. I think this is the origin of the phrase, " she has daddy issues."

In my experience women who have troubled relationships with their fathers, usually have troubled relationships with men throughout their lives. And the ones you have great relationships with their fathers, have high expectations for their potential partners. I don't know if how I feel about this is true, obviously it's not true in all cases, but it is true in my experience. I remain optimistic.

coachTanthony · Answer

Depends on how influential they were in their life or detrimental... both can affect it. Daddy issues as well will attract a man that might resemble the DAD she has always wanted.

BlueScorpio · Answer

Yes I think some do. My husband doesn't really look or act like my dad all that much though.

Rosexøxø · Answer

Yes it happens. When it’s not noticeable, it’s probably because he matches more in personality.

I’ve also seen (just an example), a black guy and white girl and they had similar head shapes. Eyebrow shape. Distances. Lip outlines, though the thickness varied. The noses were the only (SLIGHT) difference. They were two completely different colors, but their genes were also similar. They were just constructed to their own race/ culture. That’s also a possibility. It’s like: people will have higher chances to get along with someone with similar genes and interests as them. It can be subconscious, that they find similar physical genes and try to prolong that gene- just as blue-eyed people usually get involved with blue-eyed people because the blue eye is an extremely rare/ recessive gene. I’ve seen some exception where a blue-eyed person got involved with someone with grayish eyes, and another, hazel eyes. Which are close seconds and possibly recessive. When the couple doesn’t look like they share physical resemblances, it’s probably because it’s entirely dependent on personality-resemblance/ similarity.

If it has nothing to do with resemblance.. Sorry, but I don’t have the greatest hope for their relationship lasting long, although I won’t ever say that to them or anyone in our shared circle, and I wait to be proven wrong.

Sometimes, and I do hope, if they do not resemble looks and are polar opposites in personality (loud/ quiet). I hope it will balance each other in a smooth tone, (not combative), and that they just found someone who’s personality was exceptional than anyone they knew, including their parents.

That’s my view and belief on the matter. Also what I had observed.

Rockstarrrrr · Answer

In a way, yes... Girl who had a decent father figure who makes her feel loved and appreciated... Grows up into a healthy secure woman and has so much respect for him so, she makes him like a standard for how she wants to be treated by other men.. But wanting to be with a guy who resembles him physically and has his quirks an stuff... I think that's too much lol... That's pretty alarming actually 😆... And girls who never had a good father figure.. some of them subconsciously try to get validation from men all the time... yikes 🤣... but many girls who also had a sh*tty dad are still full of themselves and they have standards and expectations... and the sh*tty dad becomes like a reminder of the guys she dislikes and should stay away from...

hahahmm · Answer

Sure. And men pick women who remind them of their mom in some ways. BUT it doesn't mean people look for a duplicate of their parent. More like they are more comfortable around the familiar. It also means that you should avoid people from badly broken homes UNLESS they have bothered to take the time & effort to fix their minds. Some people do that. A lot do not.

menina · Answer

I'd say that it depends on the kind of the relationship they have with their father. If they have a bad relationship, I guess they're less likely to date a man who resembles their father. I know for sure that I would NEVER date a man who resembles my father, that would be an huge mistake.

Haha456 · Answer

no. i go for guys opposite of my fathers. i hate my father.

here's a message to the girls:

the man you marry will be the asshole that your kids would have to put up with for a huge chunk of their lives. He can make it a good childhood and a bad childhood. Be careful about who you pick to be your children's father.

letuswaltzforthedead · Answer

I don't really agree, I've never seen a woman choose a mate who looked like her dear old dad. It's not a rule, of course, just fate that often keeps the two apart it's just a silly notion, but others swear it's true That daughters seek a different potion When looking for a mate to pursue. I don't have a good relationship with mine so I would want to avoid dating a man similar.

DaisyM23 · Answer

I think so yeah and maybe similar for guys too. I think if you have a good dad, you want the same values and qualities in a partner and then if you have a bad dad maybe you go the opposite way or try too hard to emulate your dad.

But I think this goes for everyone. You grow up seeing what you like and value/what you don't like or value in your parent figure and you seek that in a partner later on

inhua · Answer

that depends on what her relationship was like with her father.

complete fatherlessness leads to feminism and promiscuity

a weak father leads to her seeking a beta to be used for finances while an alpha uses her for sex

a strong father leads to seeking a strong masculine man

Miristheiss · Answer

I don't know but I've read that women with a father in her life and they have a good relationship and she grew up feeling loved and protected, they are less likely to need constant male validation like many do today (Onlyfans, clubs/bars, Instagram, Snapchat, flirting... etc.) and they are more secure and to not become promiscuous and becoming sexually active at 14... etc. Not all but a majority of them do that have a strong relationship with their dad growing up.

CoolCatMar1 · Answer

My father is ugly as fuck and a very bad and abusive piece of garbage. My boyfriend is gorgeous and a very great and respectful guy i will marry in the future. No one is on his level and idc if other women like him or not. He is a stud. End of story

SnowedIn · Answer

I don't think it applies generally. My wife is one for whom that mold doesn't fit. Her sister. My mother in law. My mom. So, sometimes, perhaps, but not as a generalization that we can use and apply usefully.

Kaneki05 · Answer

Might apply sometimes but doubt it's always.
It's like when people say the same thing about mothers to sons.
But trust me my desire ain't a overweight christian vegan who's disabled under the sun and is not very smart.

Anonymous · Answer

Not physically. Unless the guy has a certain feature that projects the strength of thier father. But yes, otherwise absolutely! A father is a woman's primary role model for what a man is. This is why so many born without fathers or father's of bad moral become so whoreish. They simply don't know any better. Nobody told them that they matter, nobody taught them to respect themselves. So they have no idea what a man of character looks or acts like.

SphynxUK · Answer

Well, Brad doesn’t look like her father…. But no, I think not. I could never date anyone who resembles my ‘father’ and I wouldn’t be with anyone that had his personality and demeanour.

Daniela1982 · Answer

Not if their name is Miley Cyrus.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

Not me.  Not my choice.  However, yes, lots of women have consciously & unconsciously done this.

Filthy_Immigrant · Answer

I doubt it.

cause I myself am not a deadbeat heroine addict loser and my ex's father was. I also do not think I looked anything like him, such a shame that a handsome man like he was would of lived such a life

boggboss · Answer

Yes some do but u don't think this is a standerd for all women or even most

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

@CoolCatMar1 For blocking me, I'll just say it here. It's something called presumption of innocence. Now tell me if the justice system and the jury has some sort of mental illness. Because i don't think you're better than the law yourself.

NathanDavis · Answer

I certainly don't look nor resembled the parents of any of my girlfriends... lol

Phoenix98 · Answer

It’s not really a question it does happen but a lot of the time subconscious so women don’t even realize they’re doing it.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Some definitely do, but it’s likely not intentional for most of them.

Lovelydove13 · Answer

Personally I would never date a man who physiologically resembles my dad.. I can never consider him as my boyfriend

lightbulb27 · Answer

yes, or mother or other substantial figure that was emotionally impressionable.

sheikalana · Answer

Hell no, at least not in my case. I'm no attracted to white men and don't to be with someone who resembles my dad.

alice55 · Answer

Un Terms of personnality il would say yes but for physic i m not sûre

Literalbillionaire17 · Answer

Yes. I just know I’m not gonna be one of those girls like I will FIGHT to be exempt from this 😂 I love my dad but I would never marry him.

exitseven · Answer

I have never noticed that personally but I have heard stories about it.

AsaKyo · Answer

I try to steer clear of people who look and act like my dad He's a terrible man

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Physically all over the place. Personality, my mum is closer.

Twalli · Answer

I look nothing like my girlfriend's father, well not her adopted father. Neither of us knows how her birth father looked.

Sailormoon95 · Answer

Yes I agree to this. It sounds weird to say it but it's also because I want him to be a father figure to my future children.

PainusNdeeAnus · Answer

Not sure but I’d have to assume yes because I date women who are alcoholic sluts like my mother

Candyterry · Answer

I don’t like becoming like my mom and here I am acting excatly like her. I don’t like having partnet like my father and here I am all my choices were just like him.

Guy13 · Answer

Yes I do agree.

Avicenna · Answer

In some cases, yeah

Charliefretz329 · Answer

Quite often yes this is true. And men their mother. God save my soul!!!

coast · Answer

Depending on how influential they were in their life, I would absolutely agree with this statement.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

No but I think they date me that remind them of there father

Anonymous · Answer

No, I know many, many girls whose boyfriends do not resemble their dads one bit.

lalaloveee · Answer

i love my dad but no

Nikki1989 · Answer

I have never seen any evidence of that.

fonduegirl · Answer

No that's just Freud being weird

Iron_Man · Answer

I’m not so sure about that

Wise4myage · Answer

Yes, I have heard of that happening.

Songomatic · Answer

Probably subconsciously or natures a joker

krin_m · Answer

I don't think that is generally true!

Youwishyouknewmyname · Answer

Yes. The man I married is EXACTLY like my father!

dustybiker · Answer

No. lol

Agape93 · Answer

Lol nope

PinkRose24 · Answer

Hell no!

elizamichale1 · Answer

Not really

Akam93 · Answer

Not really.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

No clue.

EaterPeter · Answer

Most likely

In_Trance · Answer

Not always

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know.

Do you think women date men who resemble their father both psychologically and physically?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Are men always attracted to women that look like their mom or sisters?

Do you think women date men who resemble their father both psychologically and physically?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Are men always attracted to women that look like their mom or sisters?

We're glad to see you liked this post.